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6 Ways to Express Your Care and Support to a Loved One with Anxiety

6 Ways to Express Your Care and Support to a Loved One with Anxiety

Showing your support for a loved one who suffers from anxiety is never easy. It is frustrating to be in a situation where you often feel helpless as you witness them suffer from this illness. Remember that first and foremost, it is important that you are there, showing support in any way that you can.

Secondly, there are other things you can do to help the situation. Read on to learn a few techniques.

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1. Educate yourself about anxiety.

Immerse yourself in as much literature focused on anxiety as possible. It does not all have to be strictly medical; instead, find magazine articles, memoirs and self-help books that will clue you into this often debilitating disease. Documentaries and local talks dealing with anxiety are also another great resource. The more you learn about the illness, the more you will be able to understand why your loved one is a certain way. This will assist you in showing greater empathy.

2. Discuss what is needed.

It is important to have solid communication with your loved one and to make sure to ask how you could provide the most support. Anxiety is different for each individual, so it is important to understand how someone can specifically benefit from your help. Your loved one may have no idea how others can help, but it’s important they can simply count on your support when needed.

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It is also helpful to keep the lines of communication open, since what your loved one might need in the future can change with their symptoms.

3. Learn to not take anything too personally.

For anxious individuals, almost anything can trigger an anxiety attack. This heightened stress level may cause them to lash out at others. Try to remain calm and practice empathy towards their situation. It does more harm than good for everyone involved if you become anxious as well.

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Remember you can always physically remove yourself from the moment, take a deep breath and come back into the room when you are in a better space.

4. Understand that you are not there to help fix anything.

It can be tempting to offer suggestions to a loved one on how to cope with their anxiety, but its better if you do not. This is a job for their psychiatrist or other mental health professional. Also, while you might be giving advice with good intentions, it might not be seen this way by your loved one and can instead be seen as a personal attack.

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Remember you are there to support, not advise.

5. Brainstorm a code word.

One of the most helpful things that you can do is to come up with a word that both of you can use in public if your loved one is feeling anxious. It is important to have this secret word because it can be embarrassing for someone who is suffering from anxiety to mention it outside. It will also enable you to quickly respond to their needs and bring them to a quieter area if need be.

6. Make sure to always inform them of schedule changes.

People who suffer from anxiety often benefit from having as much stability as possible in their lives. If any changes come up, make sure to inform your loved one as soon as possible. Also, make sure to discuss the details of a schedule to make sure that they are well aware of all the events that will take place and can mentally prepare for them beforehand. With social events make sure to bring up details like who and how many people will be there, to make sure that they are fine with the arrangement.

Featured photo credit: Flicker via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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