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Confidence Isn’t Inherited, It’s Born Through Practice

Confidence Isn’t Inherited, It’s Born Through Practice

It’s an incredible feeling when you can walk into a room and you’re courageous. You have no limiting beliefs because you have placed yourself in a state of absolute certainty. This conviction gives you the courage to not play it safe, to leave your comfort zone, and to be remarkable.

Unfortunately, those confident days are rare for some. Why? Because of the story you are telling yourself: “I am not good enough.” It’s a terrible story that limits your confidence and keeps you anchored to living an unremarkably average life.

You know the life I am talking about:

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  • You never stand out or draw attention to yourself.
  • You stopped learning anything new after college.
  • You would never question your boss’ boss in a meeting.
  • You would not suggest an idea that would be contrary to best practice.

Does that sound eerily familiar? Even embarrassingly uncomfortable?

I believed the story that, “I am not good enough,” for the better part of my life. I knew there was more to my life, but I was enslaved by the disempowering stories. Human beings are storytellers. It’s the vehicle we use to engage with the world around us. And, if you tell a lie for long enough, it becomes your truth.

The only way to break the bonds of living a lie is to divorce the limiting beliefs — that is exactly what I did.

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How? I focused on creating affirmations. These were not your average proclamations, like: “I have been given endless talents that I begin to utilize today.”

These affirmations are specific, actionable, time-bound and gift-wrapped in your why. These types of affirmations, when repeated regularly, will reprogram your disempowering story into an empowering one.

Here is an example:

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“I am committed to losing 30 pounds and weighing 167 pounds by March 3, 2016, so that I can set an example of health, fitness, and goal achievement to my family.”

The Habit or Action:

“To ensure that I lose 30 pounds, I am committed to running the NYC Marathon in 2016 and drinking 96 ounces of water every day.”

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A good strategy is to set your alarm on your smartphone to chime every 60 minutes. Once the alarm goes off, recite your affirmation until it becomes a habit. The process of reprogramming your stories is not easy, but with repetition your limiting beliefs will be replaced by empowering beliefs.

As your confidence increases, you will purposely begin to step outside of your comfort zone. Before too long, you will be approaching life situations courageously and in a state of absolute certainty.

If you need a push in the right direction, here is a list of 10 confidence-boosting activities to try.

10 Ways To Become a More Confident Person

    Featured photo credit: 10 Ways to Become a More Confident Person (Infographic)/Entrepreneur Magazine via entrepreneur.com

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    Last Updated on January 18, 2019

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

    But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

    If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

    1. Limit the time you spend with them.

    First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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    In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

    Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

    2. Speak up for yourself.

    Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

    3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

    This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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    But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

    4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

    Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

    This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

    Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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    5. Change the subject.

    When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

    Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

    6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

    Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

    I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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    You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

    Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

    7. Leave them behind.

    Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

    If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

    That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

    You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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