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7 Reasons Why Type A People Are Great Partners

7 Reasons Why Type A People Are Great Partners

Most people don’t consider a Type A personality to be a good thing; Type A’s are reputed to be stubborn, set in their ways, dogmatic, and continually stressed out.  In fact, the dangers of overly aggressive type A traits are considered enough of a health risk that type A modification behavior has been popular for decades. But does this mean that Type A’s make terrible partners? Not at all – here are 7 reasons why a Type A person can make a great partner and you should consider yourself privileged if you have one!

They are organized.

Type A’s are organized to a fault. When you enter their closets you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that all their clothes are not only folded, sorted, and hung up, but are likely arranged according to type of clothing, fabric and color. Their shoes may even be neatly stacked and stored in shoe boxes. Their calendars are updated and their pantries are stocked and labeled. The best part of all this is when they are your partner – you get the benefit of this organization. You may not be excited at the idea of organizing your own closet or remembering every last detail in your address book but your partner will be more than happy to help you out.

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They plan ahead.

Type A’s are planners. They conduct SWOT analyses and plan for best and worst case scenarios. Going on vacation? Type A’s will not only find and book the best airfares and top rated hotels months ahead of time, they’ll start studying the destination and put together a day by day plan so they don’t miss a thing. Type A’s are always prepared. Did your four-year-old spill milk all over his shirt for the third time when you’re out of the house? Don’t worry, your Type A partner probably has four or more spares stored in the car. When you’re with a Type A you can relax, they’ll do the planning for you. But the best you can do for a Type A is remind them to plan time to relax themselves.

They put their best into everything they do.

Type A’s tend to be perfectionists. If they take on a project or commit to something, they don’t just get the job done, they get it done exceptionally well. That means that they’ll put the best into your relationship, too. When you’re with a Type A partner, you can count on them remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates. Plus, they won’t just remember – as we said before, Type A partners plan ahead so get ready to have a wonderful, planned celebration complete with gifts.

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They are passionate.

Type A people live life with passion. They engage in things that make them excited and they pour their hearts into relationships. Type A partners will devote themselves to you and your relationship with passion, and they will take commitment seriously. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, so if something is wrong or they are starting to lose interest in the relationship, you’ll know when their passion decreases.

They won’t be overly dependent on you.

Type A’s have a lot going on. They are passionate about relationships, but they’re also passionate about everything else that they commit to. Type A people are busy bodies; they are happiest when they are over committed. So if you’ve struggled with past partners who had nothing to focus on but your relationship, you can feel comfortable that being with a Type A means you’ll have plenty of breathing room. If they are not focusing on the relationship, it’s because they are focused on one of the many other things they’ve got on their plate. They won’t depend on you to make them happy or keep them happy.

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They live their life with purpose.

Purpose is important to Type A people. While they may seem task and planning oriented, all their work and efforts usually ladder up into a greater vision. If your partner is a Type A, you can be sure that they view their life and your relationship as meaningful. You an be proud in knowing that your partner will achieve even more than the obvious.

They don’t take no for an answer.

Type A people are resilient and stubborn. If they want something, they will stop at nothing to get it. This trait applies to things that they want for their partners. As a Type A myself, when my husband and I found ourselves placed in middle seats in the middle section of an airplane for a transatlantic trip, I didn’t stop talking to and negotiating with the airline staff until the situation was remedied – and we were both seated in business class. While that situation may seem trivial, the same drive and persistence applies to many other facets of a Type A’s  life, including career, finances, and personal passions.

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Featured photo credit: Enamoured Couple is Playing / Richard Foster via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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