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7 Reasons Why Type A People Are Great Partners

7 Reasons Why Type A People Are Great Partners

Most people don’t consider a Type A personality to be a good thing; Type A’s are reputed to be stubborn, set in their ways, dogmatic, and continually stressed out.  In fact, the dangers of overly aggressive type A traits are considered enough of a health risk that type A modification behavior has been popular for decades. But does this mean that Type A’s make terrible partners? Not at all – here are 7 reasons why a Type A person can make a great partner and you should consider yourself privileged if you have one!

They are organized.

Type A’s are organized to a fault. When you enter their closets you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that all their clothes are not only folded, sorted, and hung up, but are likely arranged according to type of clothing, fabric and color. Their shoes may even be neatly stacked and stored in shoe boxes. Their calendars are updated and their pantries are stocked and labeled. The best part of all this is when they are your partner – you get the benefit of this organization. You may not be excited at the idea of organizing your own closet or remembering every last detail in your address book but your partner will be more than happy to help you out.

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They plan ahead.

Type A’s are planners. They conduct SWOT analyses and plan for best and worst case scenarios. Going on vacation? Type A’s will not only find and book the best airfares and top rated hotels months ahead of time, they’ll start studying the destination and put together a day by day plan so they don’t miss a thing. Type A’s are always prepared. Did your four-year-old spill milk all over his shirt for the third time when you’re out of the house? Don’t worry, your Type A partner probably has four or more spares stored in the car. When you’re with a Type A you can relax, they’ll do the planning for you. But the best you can do for a Type A is remind them to plan time to relax themselves.

They put their best into everything they do.

Type A’s tend to be perfectionists. If they take on a project or commit to something, they don’t just get the job done, they get it done exceptionally well. That means that they’ll put the best into your relationship, too. When you’re with a Type A partner, you can count on them remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates. Plus, they won’t just remember – as we said before, Type A partners plan ahead so get ready to have a wonderful, planned celebration complete with gifts.

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They are passionate.

Type A people live life with passion. They engage in things that make them excited and they pour their hearts into relationships. Type A partners will devote themselves to you and your relationship with passion, and they will take commitment seriously. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, so if something is wrong or they are starting to lose interest in the relationship, you’ll know when their passion decreases.

They won’t be overly dependent on you.

Type A’s have a lot going on. They are passionate about relationships, but they’re also passionate about everything else that they commit to. Type A people are busy bodies; they are happiest when they are over committed. So if you’ve struggled with past partners who had nothing to focus on but your relationship, you can feel comfortable that being with a Type A means you’ll have plenty of breathing room. If they are not focusing on the relationship, it’s because they are focused on one of the many other things they’ve got on their plate. They won’t depend on you to make them happy or keep them happy.

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They live their life with purpose.

Purpose is important to Type A people. While they may seem task and planning oriented, all their work and efforts usually ladder up into a greater vision. If your partner is a Type A, you can be sure that they view their life and your relationship as meaningful. You an be proud in knowing that your partner will achieve even more than the obvious.

They don’t take no for an answer.

Type A people are resilient and stubborn. If they want something, they will stop at nothing to get it. This trait applies to things that they want for their partners. As a Type A myself, when my husband and I found ourselves placed in middle seats in the middle section of an airplane for a transatlantic trip, I didn’t stop talking to and negotiating with the airline staff until the situation was remedied – and we were both seated in business class. While that situation may seem trivial, the same drive and persistence applies to many other facets of a Type A’s  life, including career, finances, and personal passions.

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Featured photo credit: Enamoured Couple is Playing / Richard Foster via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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