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12 Details to Thoroughly Understand Introverts

12 Details to Thoroughly Understand Introverts

Once again, we come back to the topic of introversion versus extroversion, which has been popularized by author Susan Cain in her book: Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. In her work, Cain conducts a large amount of qualitative research, mostly in interview form, of successful people who consider themselves introverts. Combine this with growing thought chains on where people draw their energy (as in the E versus I section of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), and there is more to know about introverts than ever before. For that reason, we’ve compiled some the findings to help you understand us introverts.

1. We don’t dislike people — we dislike group-think.

The first thing to know about introverts is that we actually love people. Small group or one-to-one conversations with an introvert will make this clear very quickly. We truly do enjoy the company of others. The difference is that we have to be in the proper circumstances to appreciate each person’s uniqueness, and when people get into groups they act differently and tend to purposefully blend together in group-think. That’s where introverts struggle.

2. We focus on single-person tasks easily, and aren’t doing it to hide from people.

Introverts typically have very strong hobbies, and what separates them from hobbied extroverts is that we do not give any thought to others before we engage in the hobby. We actually just like reading, painting, writing, video games, computer coding, HAM radios, Magic the Gathering, or whatever else. The fact that other people might like our hobby too never occurs to us.

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3.  We think about mundane entertainment much more than others.

If you ever ask an introvert about their favorite movie, their eyes are likely to light up. We adore certain movies, while commonly thinking that most of pop culture is generally terrible. For example, I hardly ever go to see new movies in theaters, but if you ask me to explain the philosophy of determinism via The Matrix, the historical accuracy of Gangs of New York, or any single line in Fight Club, you should buckle in, because I’ll be talking for way too long.

4. We often misunderstand body language.

For years, and even into present, I have not understood other people’s body language. For me, this manifested most obviously with girls–a hand on my bicep never registered as a suggestive gesture; if the girl never said anything about enjoying my company, I would always miss the signal. When talking to introverts, be sure to be direct, because, for us, the value is often in words and not other signals.

5. We question authority.

Introverts, even when sitting compliantly in the back of class or in a meeting, are always thinking rationally through problems,and, so, when a problem is solved through emotion, we love to pick through the solution logically, often missing the greater good of the group in the process.

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6. We have to rationalize shopping in stores, or else we hate it.

Some people love the arrangements of clothes or the deals to be had in stores, but introverts have to find a way to think about the benefits of actually going to a store for “deals.” Most stores are built to purposefully overwhelm, so introverts would rather shop for everything from cars to underwear on the web.

7. We are the ones who engage in single-player sports.

Tennis, rowing, fishing, biking, golf, and especially competitive running are often populated by introverts. When we don’t have to worry about others, our minds can focus for very long times, so it’s natural that we use that focus to excel in sports where no other people can break our concentration.

8. We mechanize our day.

People are creatures of habit, but introverts even more so. For me, several days a week go exactly the same, down to the same time showering and the same lunch eaten. This simply creates less tangible obstacles to thinking more, so we fall into routines easily.

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9. We are certainly fine being the center of attention — but not for too long.

At parties, I find myself the center of attention often, and I love it, and then, all at once, I don’t. I legitimately have a breaking point, past which I cannot stand being the center of attention, and I can tell when I’m going to reach it, and I adjust accordingly. Similarly, famous actors such as Russell Crowe and Jim Carey — larger than life, charismatic figures — are the same way. They put on the face on camera, but, once they’re done, do not bother them. They can’t stand it.

10. We know ourselves better than others.

As I said above, I know exactly when my “people overload point” is coming, and I know how to deal with that. Further, introverts often spend lots of time in their heads, and therefore have a strong sense of self and the needs that come with that. Extroverts wouldn’t dare think about themselves so much.

11. We are concerned with ideals and like to work to create them.

Introverts love helping people, not because we love people, but because they love the idea of compassion and sympathy. We love when the court system works properly, because we love the idea of justice. We love cheesy movies, not because we like poor dialogue or hastily contrived plots, but because we love the idea of true love. There’s a difference between enjoying the people and enjoying the idea the people represent, and introverts love the latter.

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12. We think more than EXTROVERTS could ever dream of.

Introverts cannot turn of their brains. It doesn’t work like that. Still, could anyone who has read this far imagine an extrovert writing something similar. Further, how many of you still reading considers themselves an extrovert? Not many? That’s what I thought.

Featured photo credit: I Live Inside My Head/Jacqueline Murray via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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