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Great Things You Can Do Instead Of Falling Back In Love Immediately

Great Things You Can Do Instead Of Falling Back In Love Immediately

Love is like a drug, and when one relationship ends many of us immediately start looking for a new one. However, life isn’t all about love. In fact, there are hundreds of experiences we can only have when we are single and solitary. Being in a relationship often makes every day look and feel the same, but when we break free from our addiction to love, we can develop new, fantastical, fulfilling emotions and encounters we never thought possible. For those of us who have just escaped a relationship, here are all the amazing, wonderful things you can do before you relapse into love.

Sleep

As much as couples moan about how poorly they sleep without their partner sharing their sheets, you know how much you relish in having a bed to yourself. Now that you’re single, you get to sleep however you like: back-to-front, spread eagle, curled in a ball. Plus, there’s no one to complain about how you hog the covers. You can saw logs from midnight to noon — and you should.

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Learn a Skill

Time flies when you are in a relationship — and not always in the good way. No doubt you’ve often wondered how you could have possibly spent all spring and summer without accomplishing anything meaningful. Without another person to eat up your time, you can devote your energy toward long-lasting achievements:

  • Speak a foreign language. Knowing another language is eternally useful, especially if you choose one that is spoken in places you want to travel.
  • Play an instrument. People rarely want to hear a beginning music student practice scales day and night. Singlehood is the best possible time to pick up a new instrument and learn the basics. Then, you can impress potential partners later on with your musical talent.
  • Master a craft. Sewing, knitting, woodworking, and more are easy and productive, and you can give your creations to friends and family as lovely homemade gifts.
  • Practice dancing. You don’t need a partner to learn to dance — you just need a good pair of shoes and a sense of rhythm. You can look in your area for open dance classes in any style: ballroom, Latin, swing, ballet, and more.

Travel Indefinitely

You have always talked about backpacking and now there is no one holding you back. It is time to buy a one-way ticket to your destination of choice and explore until your heart is full of new places and people. Though it can be scary to set out on your own, traveling solo provides access to a number of lessons about the cities you visit, about the world in general, and about yourself.

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Grieve Properly

Sometimes, in relationships, you might have a tendency to hold back your true emotions. Thus, when something traumatic happens, you might not react the way your mind, body, and spirit need due to a sense of responsibility to your partner. When you are finally single, you have the time and space to deal with life’s tragedies in an appropriate way for you. Whether you must organize the cremation of a family member or survive a devastating illness, you might find it easier to stay sane while you are single.

Understand Your Limits

Oftentimes, coupled individuals refrain from taking risks — financial, physical, emotional — for fear that they will lose the love of their partners. Because you have no love to lose, you can push yourself to the breaking point to understand how far you are willing to go.

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  • Run a marathon, hike the Pacific Crest Trail, lift 300 pounds. Pushing your body to its physical breaking point will only make you stronger in every sense of the word.
  • Scream, cry, laugh wildly, smile broadly. You will never know your emotional comfort zone if you don’t allow yourself to feel and express yourself.
  • Read holy books, meditate, connect with a spiritual community. Spirituality has been an essential human experience for eons, and you might benefit from developing a spiritual self.

Create Something

Some people are driven by curiosity, others by aesthetics, and others still by free time, but nearly every person enjoys creating. Creating offers fulfillment like few other activities in life, and you should devote some of your single time to trying out different forms of creation:

  • Write a novel, short story, or poem.
  • Paint a picture.
  • Compose a song.
  • Experiment in the kitchen.

Evaluate What’s Missing

Before you jump into a new relationship, you must analyze what went wrong with the last one. Perhaps the best way to do this is to spend some time discerning what you truly need in a partner, if anything. You should understand that there is a difference between qualities you need — those that fulfill emotional and physical deficits, those that make you a better person through contact — and qualities you want — those that are not essential to your sense of wellbeing. After a few months by yourself, you should have an idea of how a partner could improve your life, and you will be better equipped to fall back in love.

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Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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