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Great Things You Can Do Instead Of Falling Back In Love Immediately

Great Things You Can Do Instead Of Falling Back In Love Immediately

Love is like a drug, and when one relationship ends many of us immediately start looking for a new one. However, life isn’t all about love. In fact, there are hundreds of experiences we can only have when we are single and solitary. Being in a relationship often makes every day look and feel the same, but when we break free from our addiction to love, we can develop new, fantastical, fulfilling emotions and encounters we never thought possible. For those of us who have just escaped a relationship, here are all the amazing, wonderful things you can do before you relapse into love.

Sleep

As much as couples moan about how poorly they sleep without their partner sharing their sheets, you know how much you relish in having a bed to yourself. Now that you’re single, you get to sleep however you like: back-to-front, spread eagle, curled in a ball. Plus, there’s no one to complain about how you hog the covers. You can saw logs from midnight to noon — and you should.

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Learn a Skill

Time flies when you are in a relationship — and not always in the good way. No doubt you’ve often wondered how you could have possibly spent all spring and summer without accomplishing anything meaningful. Without another person to eat up your time, you can devote your energy toward long-lasting achievements:

  • Speak a foreign language. Knowing another language is eternally useful, especially if you choose one that is spoken in places you want to travel.
  • Play an instrument. People rarely want to hear a beginning music student practice scales day and night. Singlehood is the best possible time to pick up a new instrument and learn the basics. Then, you can impress potential partners later on with your musical talent.
  • Master a craft. Sewing, knitting, woodworking, and more are easy and productive, and you can give your creations to friends and family as lovely homemade gifts.
  • Practice dancing. You don’t need a partner to learn to dance — you just need a good pair of shoes and a sense of rhythm. You can look in your area for open dance classes in any style: ballroom, Latin, swing, ballet, and more.

Travel Indefinitely

You have always talked about backpacking and now there is no one holding you back. It is time to buy a one-way ticket to your destination of choice and explore until your heart is full of new places and people. Though it can be scary to set out on your own, traveling solo provides access to a number of lessons about the cities you visit, about the world in general, and about yourself.

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Grieve Properly

Sometimes, in relationships, you might have a tendency to hold back your true emotions. Thus, when something traumatic happens, you might not react the way your mind, body, and spirit need due to a sense of responsibility to your partner. When you are finally single, you have the time and space to deal with life’s tragedies in an appropriate way for you. Whether you must organize the cremation of a family member or survive a devastating illness, you might find it easier to stay sane while you are single.

Understand Your Limits

Oftentimes, coupled individuals refrain from taking risks — financial, physical, emotional — for fear that they will lose the love of their partners. Because you have no love to lose, you can push yourself to the breaking point to understand how far you are willing to go.

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  • Run a marathon, hike the Pacific Crest Trail, lift 300 pounds. Pushing your body to its physical breaking point will only make you stronger in every sense of the word.
  • Scream, cry, laugh wildly, smile broadly. You will never know your emotional comfort zone if you don’t allow yourself to feel and express yourself.
  • Read holy books, meditate, connect with a spiritual community. Spirituality has been an essential human experience for eons, and you might benefit from developing a spiritual self.

Create Something

Some people are driven by curiosity, others by aesthetics, and others still by free time, but nearly every person enjoys creating. Creating offers fulfillment like few other activities in life, and you should devote some of your single time to trying out different forms of creation:

  • Write a novel, short story, or poem.
  • Paint a picture.
  • Compose a song.
  • Experiment in the kitchen.

Evaluate What’s Missing

Before you jump into a new relationship, you must analyze what went wrong with the last one. Perhaps the best way to do this is to spend some time discerning what you truly need in a partner, if anything. You should understand that there is a difference between qualities you need — those that fulfill emotional and physical deficits, those that make you a better person through contact — and qualities you want — those that are not essential to your sense of wellbeing. After a few months by yourself, you should have an idea of how a partner could improve your life, and you will be better equipped to fall back in love.

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Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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