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10 Things That Are So True To All Perfectionists

10 Things That Are So True To All Perfectionists

Most people think that perfectionists have life figured out: They set high standards, they work hard, and they reap the rewards. However, perfectionists know that life with strict, self-imposed goals is far from easy. Still, no matter how many times we hear that perfection is unattainable, we will never stop chasing excellence — even if that means we have to endure a lifetime of the following issues too familiar to perfectionists.

1. We Are Not the Same as Overachievers

Perfectionists and overachievers share a lot of the same symptoms, but they truly aren’t the same neurosis. Both groups set similarly high goals, but overachievers generally are satisfied with any degree of success, while perfectionists must attain perfection, or we experience the regret, guilt, and unending stress of failure. As a result, we often procrastinate, trying to delay inevitable disappointment even as we are pushed forward due to fear of inaction.

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2. We Won’t Be Caught Dead in Asymmetrical Clothing

One-sleeves, one-slits, high-low skirts, and other lopsided fashion trends aren’t daring — they are dreadful. Designers should know by now that symmetry is the essence of beauty. Striving to be asymmetrical is like trying to be ugly, and we perfectionists simply cannot stand being less than flawless.

3. We Can’t Watch Movies Without Pointing Out Errors

Just try to take one of us to the movie theater, and you’ll be thrown out 30 minutes later for all the talking we do. Even though directors tend to be perfectionists themselves, most movies contain a heaping handful of continuity mistakes and other issues that always make us cringe. Movies shot on-location tend to be worst of all because weather issues can cause obvious delays and differences, and sometimes location landmarks in the wrong city can be totally visible. Still, we’ll go to the movies as long as you don’t mind us gasping and pointing — and if you buy us popcorn with precisely distributed butter topping.

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4. We Always Arrive Precisely When We Mean To

We might drag our feet when we have projects to turn in, but if an invitation says 9 p.m., you can expect us to be there at 8:30 at the latest. Perfectionists do not know the meaning of “fashionably late,” and to us, “on time” is definitely “absurdly early” to other people. As an aside, if ever you have the fortune of being invited to a perfectionist’s party — a rare occurrence, considering the energy and expense of excellent extravaganzas — your host will be affronted if you appear any later than she would.

5. We Have to Apologize for Saying We’re Sorry

Because we are plagued by guilt and feelings of inadequacy, perfectionists have a bad habit of apologizing for anything and everything. Even worse, we usually don’t feel that our apologies are perfect, so we have to apologize for that, too. It’s a never-ending cycle, and we’re sorry about it.

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6. We Will Always Miss Being in School

Whenever someone says they hated school, we whimper. School is a perfectionist’s playground, with all sorts of authority figures just waiting to provide praise. The structure of school makes sense to perfectionists: Work hard, get rewarded. Unfortunately, success in the real world is not as obvious or easy to achieve.

7. We Don’t Take Teasing Lightly

Criticism is hard for perfectionists to take, even when it is well-intentioned. Most perfectionists see negative reviews as personal attacks, and instead of rising to the challenge, we get beaten down and depressed. Thus, when friends or allies tease us or make fun in any way, we have a hard time reacting properly to the joke. Instead of witty repartee, we perfectionists prefer artful puns, which usually do not send us into self-loathing.

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8. We Hate Opening Up

Perfectionists hate flaws — especially their own. We have a hard time being vulnerable because it forces us to expose our flaws to other people. Many of our closest loved ones might assume they know us, but usually, we have only shown them our strongest face, revealing nothing of the insecurities below.

9. We Don’t See Our Own Success

Despite perfectionists’ appearance of control and confidence, we are usually absolutely crippled by uncertainty and self-doubt. Though you may think we found success, our low self-esteem tells us that what we have now will never be enough.

10. We Need You to Stick Around

For all of these reasons and more, perfectionists need loved ones in our lives to tell us when we are being crazy. When we screech at your unbalanced outfits, when we squeal in the middle of movies, and when we cry for days after coming in second place, we need you by our sides for comfort and support.

Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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