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8 Things Libra Women Want You To Know

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8 Things Libra Women Want You To Know

Being a Libra is awesome.

In fact, I just had my birthday (yay, October babies!) and my cool Libra demeanor helped me ride out some unexpected hitches in my birthday plans. How many other signs would’ve totally freaked out when they hit bad traffic on their way to see a movie with friends, get to the theater only to find the line there is also bad, and finally get to the front of the line only to have the tickets no longer available?

Yes, it was irritating, but I found a way to go with the flow — as any Libra woman would (we ended up having milkshakes and laughing about inside jokes, and I had a great time). But, as with all people, Libra women have weaknesses in addition to their strengths. Balancing the scales isn’t easy, and it has its complications. Oh, and can you say indecisive?

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If you want to understand us, here are some basic truths about your Libra lady friends.

1. We can charm your pants off.

Libras are known for being particularly charming. We’re good at being witty and pride ourselves on our sense of humor. We know how to be polite without being stiff. If you bring us home to meet your parents, I can guarantee they’ll love us. We adapt our charm to the people and the situation.

This knack for charm is because of the whole “balance” thing. We want people to like us. At the very least, we want to be able to get along with people—not just because of our egos (I mean, that’s just human), but because being it creates the most balanced environment. This doesn’t mean we’re pushovers or doormats, because that’s not balanced either. Rather, we’ll know how to read and interact with a huge variety of personalities without compromising ourselves. It’s a pretty nifty skill.

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2. We’re indecisive.

Those balancing scales that represent Libras are both a blessing and a curse. Being able to see multiple sides of things is useful for conflict resolution and understanding others—but it also turns even the most mundane decisions into torture. Am I really in the mood for cookies, or do I want a slice of cake? Is this laundry detergent the best, or that one? Forget about asking us where we want to go out to eat or what movie we should watch on Netflix. We just see so many possible pros and cons that it overwhelms us. Coupled with our desire to “go with the flow”, we’re more likely to defer to what you want to choose unless we already know for sure that we have a strong opinion about something.

3. We’re expert diplomats.

When two of our friends are fighting, we slide naturally into the role of the diplomat. This doesn’t mean we always think both sides are equally in the wrong and that no one is more at fault; after all, we tend to have a strong sense of justice. We’re just able to see the whole picture and understand why each party is feeling a certain way about each aspect of the conflict, as well as why and how the two parties are failing to resolve it. We can explain one side’s way of thinking to the other side without excusing or defending it. We know what language to use to talk to each person and how to best explain our thoughts to them. Even if we’re only able to talk to one person in the conflict, we can guess pretty well what’s going on with the other side’s thought process.

If you’re ever at a standstill with your friend/partner/parent/co-worker, you know to go to your Libra friend.

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4. We value justice and fairness.

Like I said above, we have a strong sense of justice. This is probably due to our knack for seeing all the sides of situations. When something is unjust, we passionately wish to see it righted and are not likely to stand idly by. We will also take the time to consider other people’s arguments and reasoning (assuming it falls within the realm of sanity), because we want to be sure we’re looking at everything fairly. Then we find the best way to articulate our response to those arguments that we think the person behind them will be the most receptive to.

Of course, there are certain ways of seeing things that we just won’t consider, such as ways of thinking that are plainly discriminatory and hateful. Fairness must also be just. Your Libra friend is probably a good advocate of civil rights and social justice issues for this reason.

5. We’re intelligent.

Desiring to see multiple sides of things requires a lot of reading, conversation, and idea-exploring. After gathering so many perspectives and information over time, it’s not surprising that Libras are often quite smart. There’s usually a high level of intelligence from an early age that drives us to seek all this information in the first place, so that we just get even more clever and well-rounded over time.

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6. We have great aesthetic taste.

There’s something about Libras, especially Libra women, that gives us particularly good aesthetic taste. And don’t just take it from us! We’re told all the time that we have an eye for art, or that our outfits are always on point, or we have the cutest apartment decorations. We enjoy exploring aesthetics and looking at beautiful things, so we end up developing great senses of style in multiple ways. Even if we can’t afford to have all the cool and beautiful things personally, you can bet we’ve got a Pinterest board or ten that are curated to perfection.

7. We’re huge flirts.

Oops, we’re kind of guilty of being really big flirts. There’s nothing deceptive behind it at all! We definitely aren’t try to play games with people. We just have the ability to get a long with so many kinds of people and like to be playful, so we’ll end up flirting with our friends and even strangers. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re flirting at first. Also, we tend to be romantics (even if we don’t always admit it), so if we do have our eye on someone in particular, we flirt big time. We can’t help it! It might ruin our subtlety, but it’s the sacrifice we make for getting know the person better and winning their affection with our Libra charm. If a Libra woman has a crush on you, you’ll probably figure it out quickly.

8. We don’t do unnecessary drama.

If you tend to pick fights out of spur-of-the-moment feelings or rash thinking, you’re not going to get along very well with Libra women. We almost never react impulsively, and if we do we realize it quickly and fix it rather than holding on to the irrational feeling. People who want to fight just to fight or who get upset with other people for irrational reasons aren’t going to last in our circle for long. That being said, if you’re not those kinds of people, we will totally be supportive of you when you’re having problems with someone. We’re the diplomats, remember? Just don’t bring the unnecessary drama, and you’ll have a friend for life.

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Featured photo credit: Libra/El.lE Photography via flic.kr

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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