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8 Things Libra Women Want You To Know

8 Things Libra Women Want You To Know

Being a Libra is awesome.

In fact, I just had my birthday (yay, October babies!) and my cool Libra demeanor helped me ride out some unexpected hitches in my birthday plans. How many other signs would’ve totally freaked out when they hit bad traffic on their way to see a movie with friends, get to the theater only to find the line there is also bad, and finally get to the front of the line only to have the tickets no longer available?

Yes, it was irritating, but I found a way to go with the flow — as any Libra woman would (we ended up having milkshakes and laughing about inside jokes, and I had a great time). But, as with all people, Libra women have weaknesses in addition to their strengths. Balancing the scales isn’t easy, and it has its complications. Oh, and can you say indecisive?

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If you want to understand us, here are some basic truths about your Libra lady friends.

1. We can charm your pants off.

Libras are known for being particularly charming. We’re good at being witty and pride ourselves on our sense of humor. We know how to be polite without being stiff. If you bring us home to meet your parents, I can guarantee they’ll love us. We adapt our charm to the people and the situation.

This knack for charm is because of the whole “balance” thing. We want people to like us. At the very least, we want to be able to get along with people—not just because of our egos (I mean, that’s just human), but because being it creates the most balanced environment. This doesn’t mean we’re pushovers or doormats, because that’s not balanced either. Rather, we’ll know how to read and interact with a huge variety of personalities without compromising ourselves. It’s a pretty nifty skill.

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2. We’re indecisive.

Those balancing scales that represent Libras are both a blessing and a curse. Being able to see multiple sides of things is useful for conflict resolution and understanding others—but it also turns even the most mundane decisions into torture. Am I really in the mood for cookies, or do I want a slice of cake? Is this laundry detergent the best, or that one? Forget about asking us where we want to go out to eat or what movie we should watch on Netflix. We just see so many possible pros and cons that it overwhelms us. Coupled with our desire to “go with the flow”, we’re more likely to defer to what you want to choose unless we already know for sure that we have a strong opinion about something.

3. We’re expert diplomats.

When two of our friends are fighting, we slide naturally into the role of the diplomat. This doesn’t mean we always think both sides are equally in the wrong and that no one is more at fault; after all, we tend to have a strong sense of justice. We’re just able to see the whole picture and understand why each party is feeling a certain way about each aspect of the conflict, as well as why and how the two parties are failing to resolve it. We can explain one side’s way of thinking to the other side without excusing or defending it. We know what language to use to talk to each person and how to best explain our thoughts to them. Even if we’re only able to talk to one person in the conflict, we can guess pretty well what’s going on with the other side’s thought process.

If you’re ever at a standstill with your friend/partner/parent/co-worker, you know to go to your Libra friend.

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4. We value justice and fairness.

Like I said above, we have a strong sense of justice. This is probably due to our knack for seeing all the sides of situations. When something is unjust, we passionately wish to see it righted and are not likely to stand idly by. We will also take the time to consider other people’s arguments and reasoning (assuming it falls within the realm of sanity), because we want to be sure we’re looking at everything fairly. Then we find the best way to articulate our response to those arguments that we think the person behind them will be the most receptive to.

Of course, there are certain ways of seeing things that we just won’t consider, such as ways of thinking that are plainly discriminatory and hateful. Fairness must also be just. Your Libra friend is probably a good advocate of civil rights and social justice issues for this reason.

5. We’re intelligent.

Desiring to see multiple sides of things requires a lot of reading, conversation, and idea-exploring. After gathering so many perspectives and information over time, it’s not surprising that Libras are often quite smart. There’s usually a high level of intelligence from an early age that drives us to seek all this information in the first place, so that we just get even more clever and well-rounded over time.

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6. We have great aesthetic taste.

There’s something about Libras, especially Libra women, that gives us particularly good aesthetic taste. And don’t just take it from us! We’re told all the time that we have an eye for art, or that our outfits are always on point, or we have the cutest apartment decorations. We enjoy exploring aesthetics and looking at beautiful things, so we end up developing great senses of style in multiple ways. Even if we can’t afford to have all the cool and beautiful things personally, you can bet we’ve got a Pinterest board or ten that are curated to perfection.

7. We’re huge flirts.

Oops, we’re kind of guilty of being really big flirts. There’s nothing deceptive behind it at all! We definitely aren’t try to play games with people. We just have the ability to get a long with so many kinds of people and like to be playful, so we’ll end up flirting with our friends and even strangers. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re flirting at first. Also, we tend to be romantics (even if we don’t always admit it), so if we do have our eye on someone in particular, we flirt big time. We can’t help it! It might ruin our subtlety, but it’s the sacrifice we make for getting know the person better and winning their affection with our Libra charm. If a Libra woman has a crush on you, you’ll probably figure it out quickly.

8. We don’t do unnecessary drama.

If you tend to pick fights out of spur-of-the-moment feelings or rash thinking, you’re not going to get along very well with Libra women. We almost never react impulsively, and if we do we realize it quickly and fix it rather than holding on to the irrational feeling. People who want to fight just to fight or who get upset with other people for irrational reasons aren’t going to last in our circle for long. That being said, if you’re not those kinds of people, we will totally be supportive of you when you’re having problems with someone. We’re the diplomats, remember? Just don’t bring the unnecessary drama, and you’ll have a friend for life.

Featured photo credit: Libra/El.lE Photography via flic.kr

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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