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8 Things Libra Women Want You To Know

8 Things Libra Women Want You To Know

Being a Libra is awesome.

In fact, I just had my birthday (yay, October babies!) and my cool Libra demeanor helped me ride out some unexpected hitches in my birthday plans. How many other signs would’ve totally freaked out when they hit bad traffic on their way to see a movie with friends, get to the theater only to find the line there is also bad, and finally get to the front of the line only to have the tickets no longer available?

Yes, it was irritating, but I found a way to go with the flow — as any Libra woman would (we ended up having milkshakes and laughing about inside jokes, and I had a great time). But, as with all people, Libra women have weaknesses in addition to their strengths. Balancing the scales isn’t easy, and it has its complications. Oh, and can you say indecisive?

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If you want to understand us, here are some basic truths about your Libra lady friends.

1. We can charm your pants off.

Libras are known for being particularly charming. We’re good at being witty and pride ourselves on our sense of humor. We know how to be polite without being stiff. If you bring us home to meet your parents, I can guarantee they’ll love us. We adapt our charm to the people and the situation.

This knack for charm is because of the whole “balance” thing. We want people to like us. At the very least, we want to be able to get along with people—not just because of our egos (I mean, that’s just human), but because being it creates the most balanced environment. This doesn’t mean we’re pushovers or doormats, because that’s not balanced either. Rather, we’ll know how to read and interact with a huge variety of personalities without compromising ourselves. It’s a pretty nifty skill.

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2. We’re indecisive.

Those balancing scales that represent Libras are both a blessing and a curse. Being able to see multiple sides of things is useful for conflict resolution and understanding others—but it also turns even the most mundane decisions into torture. Am I really in the mood for cookies, or do I want a slice of cake? Is this laundry detergent the best, or that one? Forget about asking us where we want to go out to eat or what movie we should watch on Netflix. We just see so many possible pros and cons that it overwhelms us. Coupled with our desire to “go with the flow”, we’re more likely to defer to what you want to choose unless we already know for sure that we have a strong opinion about something.

3. We’re expert diplomats.

When two of our friends are fighting, we slide naturally into the role of the diplomat. This doesn’t mean we always think both sides are equally in the wrong and that no one is more at fault; after all, we tend to have a strong sense of justice. We’re just able to see the whole picture and understand why each party is feeling a certain way about each aspect of the conflict, as well as why and how the two parties are failing to resolve it. We can explain one side’s way of thinking to the other side without excusing or defending it. We know what language to use to talk to each person and how to best explain our thoughts to them. Even if we’re only able to talk to one person in the conflict, we can guess pretty well what’s going on with the other side’s thought process.

If you’re ever at a standstill with your friend/partner/parent/co-worker, you know to go to your Libra friend.

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4. We value justice and fairness.

Like I said above, we have a strong sense of justice. This is probably due to our knack for seeing all the sides of situations. When something is unjust, we passionately wish to see it righted and are not likely to stand idly by. We will also take the time to consider other people’s arguments and reasoning (assuming it falls within the realm of sanity), because we want to be sure we’re looking at everything fairly. Then we find the best way to articulate our response to those arguments that we think the person behind them will be the most receptive to.

Of course, there are certain ways of seeing things that we just won’t consider, such as ways of thinking that are plainly discriminatory and hateful. Fairness must also be just. Your Libra friend is probably a good advocate of civil rights and social justice issues for this reason.

5. We’re intelligent.

Desiring to see multiple sides of things requires a lot of reading, conversation, and idea-exploring. After gathering so many perspectives and information over time, it’s not surprising that Libras are often quite smart. There’s usually a high level of intelligence from an early age that drives us to seek all this information in the first place, so that we just get even more clever and well-rounded over time.

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6. We have great aesthetic taste.

There’s something about Libras, especially Libra women, that gives us particularly good aesthetic taste. And don’t just take it from us! We’re told all the time that we have an eye for art, or that our outfits are always on point, or we have the cutest apartment decorations. We enjoy exploring aesthetics and looking at beautiful things, so we end up developing great senses of style in multiple ways. Even if we can’t afford to have all the cool and beautiful things personally, you can bet we’ve got a Pinterest board or ten that are curated to perfection.

7. We’re huge flirts.

Oops, we’re kind of guilty of being really big flirts. There’s nothing deceptive behind it at all! We definitely aren’t try to play games with people. We just have the ability to get a long with so many kinds of people and like to be playful, so we’ll end up flirting with our friends and even strangers. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re flirting at first. Also, we tend to be romantics (even if we don’t always admit it), so if we do have our eye on someone in particular, we flirt big time. We can’t help it! It might ruin our subtlety, but it’s the sacrifice we make for getting know the person better and winning their affection with our Libra charm. If a Libra woman has a crush on you, you’ll probably figure it out quickly.

8. We don’t do unnecessary drama.

If you tend to pick fights out of spur-of-the-moment feelings or rash thinking, you’re not going to get along very well with Libra women. We almost never react impulsively, and if we do we realize it quickly and fix it rather than holding on to the irrational feeling. People who want to fight just to fight or who get upset with other people for irrational reasons aren’t going to last in our circle for long. That being said, if you’re not those kinds of people, we will totally be supportive of you when you’re having problems with someone. We’re the diplomats, remember? Just don’t bring the unnecessary drama, and you’ll have a friend for life.

Featured photo credit: Libra/El.lE Photography via flic.kr

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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