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The Stages of Labor: From Early Contractions to Giving Birth

The Stages of Labor: From Early Contractions to Giving Birth

Giving birth is a wonderful thing, but it can also be intimidating and nerve-wracking for women who have never experienced it before. Although there is no way for anyone to tell you exactly how your labor process is going to be, it is possible to help you prepare based on the typical factors that impact every delivery.

If you keep the following three stages of labor in mind, you should be much more prepared for every step between having your water break and giving birth to your newborn daughter or son.

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Early Labor Stage

Most women go through early labor for 8 to 12 hours, but it can last up to three days in some rare instances. During this time period, you can expect your cervix to dilate to 3 cm, and your water should break at some point before the next labor stage begins. It may be tempting to rush to the hospital when you first recognize the signs of early labor, but this is not actually necessary in most cases (especially not before your water breaks).

When you enter this stage, you can keep yourself occupied with light tasks or napping during the first few hours. It is important to remain well-hydrated, and you should eat something to help you keep your energy level up. This is also the perfect time to get your hospital bag ready, and you will want to start timing your contractions.

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Your contractions are likely to start off relatively mild and inconsistent, but with time, they will become more intense and frequent. Contractions generally feel like a combination of menstrual cramps, lower back pain and tightening or pressure in your pelvis. Early labor usually causes contractions every 5 to 30 minutes, and their duration will range from 30 to 45 seconds. As your contractions increase in intensity and appear closer together, your body will begin progressing toward stage two.

Active Labor Stage

When this stage starts, it will finally be time to go to the hospital and give birth. For most women, active labor is a process that takes approximately three to five hours. Your cervix will dilate up to 7 cm, and each contraction will feel stronger. You can expect active labor contractions to occur every 3 to 5 minutes, and they will last 45 to 60 seconds. This is the primary reason that timing your contractions during the early labor stage is so important — because you will be able to make a more informed decision about when it is actually time to leave your house. If you are planning a home birth, make sure that your midwife is at your house by the time you reach active labor.

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You will want to start using your breathing and relaxation techniques during active labor so that it is easier to deal with the discomfort of your contractions. Make sure that you move around whenever possible, and continue to stay hydrated. This is also the perfect time to begin relying more heavily on your support person.

Transition Stage Leads to Giving Birth

Your transition stage will be the most difficult part of labor, but the good news is that it only lasts 30 minutes to 2 hours in most cases. At this point, your cervix will begin dilating all the way to 10 cm, and you can expect very intense and strong contractions. These contractions are usually 60 to 90 seconds in length, and there may be a break of 30 seconds to 2 minutes between them. However, it is also possible for these contractions to overlap. If you have reached this stage without making it to the hospital, it will be time to request emergency medical assistance.

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The transition stage leads to the baby’s birth, and this is exactly what you have been waiting for throughout the past nine months. You may experience multiple side effects during this stage, including vomiting, chills, gas, nausea and hot flashes. This is all normal, and you should turn to your support person to help you get through the unpleasant aspects of giving birth.

Make sure that you tell your doctor or midwife when you begin to feel the urge to push. They will help you time everything properly for the safest and most comfortable delivery possible. Your baby will be born during this stage, but your body will still have work to do after this happens. Expect an additional 5 to 30 minutes of contractions as your body prepares to deliver the placenta.

After labor is complete, your newborn has been cleaned up and you are holding your son or daughter in your arms, it will be time to take a moment to appreciate everything that the two of you have just been through together. This pause will give you time to recognize how strong you both are, and it will also provide a moment of peace before the next stage begins: learning how to look after a newborn.

Featured photo credit: George Ruiz via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 22, 2019

14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 27% of children under the age of 18 are living with a single parent.[1] That’s over 1/4th of the U.S. population.There is a common misconception that children who grow up in single parent homes are not as successful as children living in two-parent homes.

One crucial detail that was often left out of studies when comparing single and two-parent homes was the stability of the household. There is a correlation between family structure and family stability, but this study shows that children who grow up in stable single-parent homes do as well as those in married households in terms of academic abilities and behavior.

But providing stability is easier said than done. With only one adult to act as a parent, some tasks are inherently more challenging. However, there are a few helpful things you can do to make the parenting journey a little easier for yourself and stay sane while doing it.

1. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

Before anything else can be done, you must be caring for your own needs adequately. Only when you are feeling well-rested and healthy can you be at your best for your children.

Many parents tend to put their kids’ needs first and their owns last, but that will result in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy. Make time to eat regularly and healthfully, get plenty of rest, and squeeze in exercise whenever you can. Even a short walk around the neighborhood will help your body get much-needed movement and fresh air.

Your children depend on you, and it’s up to you to make sure that you are well-equipped and ready to take on that responsibility.

2. Join Forces with Other Single Parents

At times, it may seem like you’re the only person who knows what it’s like to be a single parent. However, the statistics say that there are many others who know exactly what you’re going through.

Find single parents locally, through your kid’s school, extracurricular activities, or even an app. There are also numerous online communities that can offer support and advice, through Facebook or sites like Single Mom Nation.

Although single moms make up the majority of single parents, there are more than 2.6 million single dads in the U.S. A great way to connect is through Meetup. Other single parents will more than happy to arrange babysitting swaps, playdates, and carpools.

Join forces in order to form mutually beneficial relationships.

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3. Build a Community

In addition to finding support with other single parents, also build a community comprised of families of all different types. Rather than focus solely on the single parent aspect of your identity, look for parents and kids who share other things in common.

Join a playgroup, get plugged in at a church, or get to know the parents of the kids involved in the same extracurricular activities. Having a community of a variety of people and families will bring diversity and excitement into your and your kids’ lives.

4. Accept Help

Don’t try to be a superhero and do it all yourself. There are probably people in your life who care about you and your kids and want to help you. Let them know what types of things would be most appreciated, whether it’s bringing meals once a week, helping with rides to school, or giving you time to yourself.

There is no shame in asking for help and accepting assistance from loved ones. You will not be perceived as weak or incompetent. You are being a good parent by being resourceful and allowing others to give you a much-needed break.

5. Get Creative with Childcare

Raising a child on a single income is a challenge, with the high cost of daycares, nannies, and other conventional childcare services. More affordable options are possible if you go a less traditional route.

If you have space and live in a college town, offer a college student housing in exchange for regular childcare. Or swap kids with other single parents so that your kids have friends to play with while the parents get time to themselves.

When I was younger, my parents had a group of five family friends, and all of the children would rotate to a different house each day of the week, during the summer months. The kids would have a great time playing with each other, and the parents’ job becomes a lot easier. That’s what you would call a win-win situation.

6. Plan Ahead for Emergencies

As a single parent, a backup plan or two is a must in emergency situations. Make a list of people you know you can call in a moment’s notice. There will be times in which you need help, and it’s important to know ahead of time who you can rely on.

Look into whether or not your area offers emergency babysitting services or a drop-in daycare. Knowing who will be able to care for your child in the event of an emergency can relieve one potential source of anxiety in stressful situations.

7. Create a Routine

Routines are crucial for young children because knowing what to expect gives them a semblance of control. This is even more important when in a single parent home.

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If the child travels between homes or has multiple caretakers, life can seem extremely chaotic and unpredictable. Establish a routine and schedule for your child as much as possible. This can include bedtime, before/after school, chores, meal times, and even a weekend routine.

Having a routine does not mean things cannot change. It is merely a default schedule to fall back on when no additional events or activities are going on. When your children know what to expect, they will be less resistant because they know what to expect, and days will run much more smoothly.

8. Be Consistent with Rules and Discipline

If your child has multiple caretakers, such as another parent, grandparent, or babysitter, communicate clearly on how discipline will be handled. Talk to your ex, if you are sharing custody, as well as any other caretakers about the rules and the agreed-upon approach to discipline.

When a child realizes that certain rules can be bent with certain people, he/she will use it to their advantage, causing additional issues with limits, behavior, and discipline down the road.

This article may help you to discipline your child better:

How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

9. Stay Positive

Everyone has heard the saying, “Mind over matter.” But there really is so much power behind your mentality. It can change your perspective and make a difficult situation so much better.

Your kids will be able to detect even the smallest shift in your attitude. When the responsibilities of motherhood are overwhelming, stay focused on the positive things in your life, such as your friends and family. This will produce a much more stable home environment.

Maintain your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to be silly. Look towards the future and the great things that are still to come for you and your family. Rediscover and redefine your family values.

10. Move Past the Guilt

In a single parent home, it is impossible to act as both parents, regardless of how hard you try. Let go of the things that you cannot do as a single parent, and instead, think of the great things you ARE able to provide for your children.

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Leave behind the notion that life would be easier or better with two parents. This is simply not true. There is a multitude of pros and cons to all family dynamics, and the one you are providing for your kids now is the one that they need.

Don’t get bogged down by guilt or regret. Take control of your life and be the best parent you can by being present and engaged with them on a daily basis.

11. Answer Questions Honestly

Your kids may have questions about why their home situation is different from many of their friends. When asked, don’t sugarcoat the situation or give them an answer that is not accurate.

Depending on their age, take this opportunity to explain the truth of what happened and how the current circumstances came about. Not all families have two parents, whether that is due to divorce, death, or whatever else life brings.

Don’t give more detail than necessary or talk badly about the other parent. But strive to be truthful and honest. Your children will benefit more from your candor than a made-up story.

12. Treat Kids Like Kids

In the absence of a partner, it can be tempting to rely on your children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But your kids are not equipped to play this role for you.

There are many details within an adult relationship that children are not able to understand or process, and it will only cause confusion and resentment.

Do not take out your anger on your kids. Separate your emotional needs from your role as a mother. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, look for adult friends or family members that you can talk to about your issues.

13. Find Role Models

Find positive role models of the opposite sex for your child. It’s crucial that your child does not form negative associations with an entire gender of people.

Find close friends or family members that would be willing to spend one-on-one time with your kids. Encourage them to form meaningful relationships with people that you trust and that they can look up to.

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Role models can make a huge difference in the path that a child decides to take, so be intentional about the ones that you put in your kids’ lives.

14. Be Affectionate and Give Praise

Your children need your affection and praise on a daily basis. Engage with your kids as often as possible by playing with them, going on outings, and encouraging open dialogue.

Affirm them in the things that they are doing well, no matter how small. Praise their efforts, rather than their achievements. This will inspire them to continue to put forth hard work and not give up when success is not achieved.

Rather than spending money on gifts, spend time and effort in making lasting memories.

Final Thoughts

Being a single parent is a challenging responsibility to take on. Without the help of a partner to fall back on, single parents have a lot more to take on.

However, studies show that growing up in a single parent home does not have a negative effect on achievement in school. As long as the family is a stable and safe environment, kids are able to excel and do well in life.

Use these tips in order to be a reliable and capable parent for your kids, while maintaining your own well-being and sanity.

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Featured photo credit: Eye for Ebony via unsplash.com

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