Advertising
Advertising

Top 7 Things That People With Anxiety Don’t Want To Hear

Top 7 Things That People With Anxiety Don’t Want To Hear

Suffering from anxiety is incredibly debilitating. It can cause a person to quickly fall into a panic attack over even the slightest contingency in their daily life, and it’s almost impossible to break out of the downward spiral that this panic causes.

Since there’s such a social stigma behind the disorder, those who suffer from anxiety tend to keep quiet about it. And it can affect anybody. Celebrities like Johnny Depp and Adele have faced their share of panic attacks over the years, even though you could never tell by their on-stage personas.

Advertising

Keeping anxiety under control is difficult enough as it is — it’s even harder to do when people start giving advice you’ve heard a thousand times before. Here is a sampling of that advice.

1. “Stay calm”

I wish I could. That’s literally what anxiety prohibits me from doing. To a person with anxiety, whatever caused them to have this panic attack actually feels like an emergency akin to a house-fire. It will pass in time, but for now you just have to deal with your companion being frantic for a while.

Advertising

2. “Don’t worry so much about it”

Telling a person with anxiety not to worry about something only does one thing: makes them worry more. In fact, they’ll start coming up with reasons why they should worry. They’ll go through the worst-case scenario possibilities in their head over and over until they feel like they’re going to explode. It might not be easy, but you have to let them worry about whatever it is they’re worried about on their own terms.

3. “You’re so pessimistic”

No, I’m realistic. Like I just said, when you tell a person with anxiety not to worry, all they do is think of the negative possibilities that could occur. Even something like an F on a college exam could cause them to seriously question their future, as they will extrapolate their current failure throughout the rest of their life. If it’s in the realm of possibility, no matter how pessimistic it may seem, it’s going to make them freak out.

Advertising

4. “Others have it so much worse”

I know there are kids starving all over the world and people who don’t have clean water to drink, but now is not the time to remind me. I know I’m having a pity party, and I know I’m lucky to be alive and have a roof over my head, but all I can think about is whatever bad thing just happened to me. Anxiety gives people tunnel vision. They find it impossible to see from an objective perspective, and unfortunately only focus on themselves for the time being.

5. “It’s not the end of the world”

Again, I know that. Deep down I know that one bump in the road isn’t going to derail my entire life. But, in the heat of the moment, it sure seems that way. When a panic attack hits, it truly feels as if a person’s life is crumbling down around them. No piece of advice is going to make them think otherwise until the attack fades away. Just help them deal with it as best you can.

Advertising

6. “Have you tried ______?”

Counting to ten? Yep. Breathing into a paper bag? Check. Meditating? Of course. I’ve tried everything. You think I’d not do something to try and fix this mindset? If I found something that worked, do you think I’d avoid doing it? If anxiety had a quick fix, millions of people wouldn’t suffer from it on a daily basis. But thanks for the suggestion, I guess.

7. “Everyone has rough days”

I wish I had your rough days. But I would never wish for you to have mine. Anxiety is not a case of “Ugh, everything’s going wrong today, and of course my ice cream cone falls apart!”

It’s an underlying condition that makes a person on edge at all times, regardless of the situation. Even on a person’s best days, there’s still a possibility that something will happen that will derail everything. The best you can do, as a friend to someone suffering from anxiety, is to accept them for who they are and be there for them when they need you.

Featured photo credit: Hunter McGinnis via farm8.staticflickr.com

More by this author

20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart 14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water Which Type of Visa Do You Need to Travel Abroad?

Trending in Communication

1 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 2 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 3 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever 4 Meditation Can Change Your Life: The Power of Mindfulness 5 Understand Your Love Style & Learn to Love: Co Dependent Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

Advertising

When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

Advertising

I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

Advertising

No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

Advertising

If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

Read Next