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5 Things That Adult Child Of Addict Wish To Tell You

5 Things That Adult Child Of Addict Wish To Tell You

Some people go through life not knowing what it is like to deal with somebody who has abused drugs or alcohol and probably have a very negative, biased opinion on who that person is or was during that part of their lives. You can’t blame them for they way they think. Like I said, they have no idea what it is like to be involved with an addict, especially when the addict is your parent.

Every day, there are thousands of us adult children of addicts who are forced to live their lives a little differently than everybody else. We are faced with stress, fear, anxiety and temptation every day. We feel judged by those who know our situation, even though we shouldn’t.

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It is definitely a challenge to try to live a normal life. If you are on the outside looking in, there are a few things that we, as the adult children of addicts, would like to you know.

1. Our parent’s are not necessarily bad people.

Now, I can’t speak for everybody here when I say this, but it’s the truth for a lot of us. Just because they fell into an addiction doesn’t always mean they started off doing the bad things that they do/did to get their fix. They are still human, and they made some pretty terrible choices that led them to where they are. In a lot of cases, they got involved with the wrong people during very vulnerable point’s in there life, and they got taken advantage of.

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2. We are afraid of the future.

We are afraid of the future because we can’t control it. We are afraid that our parent’s may fall into a relapse, if they have gotten clean. We are afraid of getting that phone call telling us that our parents were involved in a deal gone wrong and are now dead. We work so hard to keep the addiction out of our lives. The possibility that it will make it back into our lives scares the hell out of us.

3. We are afraid for our children.

We are afraid that our children will have to go through what we went through. We are also constantly worried if we are over parenting or under parenting. We second guess a lot of our parenting decisions. We just want to do right by them, and we always worry that what we are doing is not good enough.

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4. We do not mean to be controlling.

This started way back when we were kids. We had to learn to take charge of stuff when are parents weren’t able to. We also feel like we can keep things in order, but it has to be exactly what we want. We know that we need to loosen up a bit, but sometimes its just too hard.

5. We have a hard time finding a whole lot of positive in the situation.

Yeah, we learned how to take care of  ourselves and our siblings early, but we did not want to. We were forced to grow up well before we were ready. We desperately wanted to have our parents take care of us so we could enjoy being a kid, but we didn’t get to. We craved some sort of structure from our parents, but they couldn’t give it to us.

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As adults, we know more about the addiction that our parents deal with, and we are able to realize just how fully it impacted us negatively. We don’t ask for your sympathy, nor do we expect it from anybody. All that we as adult children of addicts ask for is just a little bit of understanding of the situation.

We are trying to create awareness of this side of addiction. Addiction doesn’t just affect the addict; it affects everybody they are close to, especially their children.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/smoking-young-people-youth-be-cool-737057/ via pixabay.com

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Michael Daws

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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