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5 Things to Understand if Your Significant Other Is An Introvert

5 Things to Understand if Your Significant Other Is An Introvert

When your partner is an introvert it can take some time to understand why they prefer to have alone time to recharge. Introverts are often confused with people who are shy, but introversion is actually to do with feeling drained after a social situation, as opposed to feeling energized from it (extroverts).

There is a whole spectrum of introversion, from introverts who would always prefer to stay at home, to those who want to go out and socialize. People who appear to be social butterflies can in fact be introverts, but you would never be able to tell since they enjoy socializing in small doses. It is important to know how you can support your introverted partner, especially in social situations. Here are a few ways that you can help:

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You should understand the reasons for them wanting to leave a social situation

There is only so much social interaction an introvert can tolerate until they start to feel drained. It is important to accept that when your partner wants to leave it’s not a personal attack on the event or an indication that they are bored, but they need to escape to find some solitude and recharge. If you prefer to stay for longer, discuss this beforehand and either take two cars or find a friend that can drive you home.

You should help out with the small talk

Introverts often dread small talk and it is important for your partner that you take the reins on this so that they do not feel as much pressure to come up with witty comebacks or thoughtful questions. It is important for you to understand that introverts often prefer to listen, especially in large groups of people. Another way that you can help your partner out is by bringing up topics in the conversation that you know are of interest to them and that they can easily talk about.

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You should give them space

When your partner needs to decompress after a social event, it is important to let them do so without pestering them. It may be hard to realize that they are benefiting from this time alone (especially if you want to hang out), but after awhile it will become easier. Your relationship will also benefit immensely if you let your partner do their own thing for awhile.

You should always check-in with your partner about your social calendar

Scheduling two social events back-to-back can create a lot of friction with your partner, especially if they are the type of introvert that prefers to be alone most of the time. During times of the year such as the holiday season it is important to be extra vigilant and not over-pack your schedule. A good system to use is to have a clearly marked calendar in a place that is easily visible for both of you, so that there is no miscommunication. Also, last minute invitations should be discussed in detail with your partner to gauge how they feel and how much they can handle; introverts prefer to know about social events well in advance so that they can mentally prepare.

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You should not worry about them every moment they are quiet

Introverts are often quieter than their extroverted counterparts, but that does not necessarily mean something is wrong. If you find them sitting alone at a party, trust that they are not being anti-social, but just taking a moment to regroup. On the other hand, it is important to be able to tell if something is wrong with your partner and if they are feeling overwhelmed in a social situation. Discuss beforehand a discrete signal that they can give you if they are feeling this way.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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