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5 Things to Understand if Your Significant Other Is An Introvert

5 Things to Understand if Your Significant Other Is An Introvert

When your partner is an introvert it can take some time to understand why they prefer to have alone time to recharge. Introverts are often confused with people who are shy, but introversion is actually to do with feeling drained after a social situation, as opposed to feeling energized from it (extroverts).

There is a whole spectrum of introversion, from introverts who would always prefer to stay at home, to those who want to go out and socialize. People who appear to be social butterflies can in fact be introverts, but you would never be able to tell since they enjoy socializing in small doses. It is important to know how you can support your introverted partner, especially in social situations. Here are a few ways that you can help:

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You should understand the reasons for them wanting to leave a social situation

There is only so much social interaction an introvert can tolerate until they start to feel drained. It is important to accept that when your partner wants to leave it’s not a personal attack on the event or an indication that they are bored, but they need to escape to find some solitude and recharge. If you prefer to stay for longer, discuss this beforehand and either take two cars or find a friend that can drive you home.

You should help out with the small talk

Introverts often dread small talk and it is important for your partner that you take the reins on this so that they do not feel as much pressure to come up with witty comebacks or thoughtful questions. It is important for you to understand that introverts often prefer to listen, especially in large groups of people. Another way that you can help your partner out is by bringing up topics in the conversation that you know are of interest to them and that they can easily talk about.

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You should give them space

When your partner needs to decompress after a social event, it is important to let them do so without pestering them. It may be hard to realize that they are benefiting from this time alone (especially if you want to hang out), but after awhile it will become easier. Your relationship will also benefit immensely if you let your partner do their own thing for awhile.

You should always check-in with your partner about your social calendar

Scheduling two social events back-to-back can create a lot of friction with your partner, especially if they are the type of introvert that prefers to be alone most of the time. During times of the year such as the holiday season it is important to be extra vigilant and not over-pack your schedule. A good system to use is to have a clearly marked calendar in a place that is easily visible for both of you, so that there is no miscommunication. Also, last minute invitations should be discussed in detail with your partner to gauge how they feel and how much they can handle; introverts prefer to know about social events well in advance so that they can mentally prepare.

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You should not worry about them every moment they are quiet

Introverts are often quieter than their extroverted counterparts, but that does not necessarily mean something is wrong. If you find them sitting alone at a party, trust that they are not being anti-social, but just taking a moment to regroup. On the other hand, it is important to be able to tell if something is wrong with your partner and if they are feeling overwhelmed in a social situation. Discuss beforehand a discrete signal that they can give you if they are feeling this way.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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