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6 Reasons Why Alpha Women Are to Be Admired

6 Reasons Why Alpha Women Are to Be Admired

Most alpha women would describe themselves as healthy, truthful, positive, happy, and assertive, just to name a few of their ace qualities! The truth is that most people, both men and women, do not see these great traits at all and there are loads of misconceptions going the rounds about them. Just to set a few things straight, alpha women are not like they are always portrayed. Here are 6 things you need to know about alpha women.

1. They are assertive

Alpha women are open and direct and they can be gentle or firm, depending on the situation. Guess what? If a women is in a bad mood or being more direct than usual, she is often dismissed as a “bitch” and there is usually a reason given, for example, she must be having her period. It is interesting to note that when men are in a bad mood, it is often shrugged off but no insults or references to their bodies normal functions are thrown around!

Alpha women have respect for their boundaries and themselves. They are not worried about putting their needs aside and are not afraid to protest when they are not respected. They are just being strong women. Assertiveness is a positive quality.

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2. They are low maintenance

Alpha women thrive on low maintenance relationships with mature and emotionally intelligent partners. It is dead easy because they are so mature on their own that they never make too many demands on their nearest and dearest. The great thing is that they are dedicating all their energy and buzz to moving a relationship to the next level without getting trapped in the high maintenance mode where their needs would take precedence over everything else. This is another urban legend about over-demanding alpha women you often read about.

3. They believe in equality

The alpha women know that there is no need to hide their talents, intelligence, or desires from men. If they did that they would be moving back into the nineteenth century. That is why equality at work and in relationships is so important for them. Maybe at work, they will have problems because of jealousy, fear, and resentment.

They may find it hard to find the right partner but that does not deter them. One solution is to go for Mr. Beta as recommended by Sonya Rhodes in her book, The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match.

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“Alpha men are very turned on by the Alpha woman – really high chemistry, really fun to work with, probably really fun to have affairs with. But there can only be one person in the driver’s seat.”- Alanis Morissette

4. They still want to be feminine

You know the stereotype that alpha women somehow hide their femininity and beauty. It is another misconception which they have to fight against everyday. Why should independence and feeling liberated compromise their desire to be fully female?

At the same time, an alpha woman never wants to be judged only for her looks, beauty and charm. She knows that whole package is what counts and she is determined to make sure that gets the maximum promotion at the right moment.

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5. They know how to use body language

Many alpha women convey their leading position in power and respect by using the right body language. They know how to be seen as assertive and not aggressive by using the steepling technique. This is where they bring the hands with fingertips pressed, close to their chest or face. They not only feel more confident in themselves, but they know they can convey the right message.

Being aware of how high or low-power poses can help make a favourable impression should be studied more. There is nothing wrong with the tactic of “faking it till you make it”. All too often, body language is underestimated but the alpha woman knows a thing or two about this as Amy Cuddy explains in the excellent TED talk, Your body language shapes who you are.

“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.” – Mary Shelley

 6. They value their career

“Well behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

It is through her career that an alpha woman can make a great impact. She knows that this is an essential ingredient in being self-fulfilled. It also gives her the chance to get on the fast track to power. A job or career gives her the courage to be confident and ambitious. She can reach for the glass ceiling and in many cases break it. She can do that by being unconventional if necessary to get the return on the investment she has made with her time and talents. She can face failure and learn from it and then resolve to be more determined and tougher the next time around.

At the end of the day, the alpha woman is claiming ownership of her destiny, that’s all. Now, what is wrong with that?

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Featured photo credit: Samantha Ruiz 09/Robert Bejil via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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