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5 Reasons Why Geeky Boys Are Seriously The Best Boyfriend Type

5 Reasons Why Geeky Boys Are Seriously The Best Boyfriend Type

I’ll be straight with you, I’m no “lady killer” (at least, I think that’s what the kids are calling it these days). I am; however, a pretty big geek, and thus I thought it would be cool to write an article espousing the reasons why we make awesome boyfriends – of course. My hope is that in doing so, girls will be just a bit more informed about guys like me. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll convince a few of you to ditch the football player in exchange for the guy wearing the bow tie!

So let’s start with the basics. What’s so special about geeks?

1. We have potential

Yes, it’s true. Us geeks generally don’t have the best bodies, and we usually aren’t “alpha males.” That said, underneath our awkward outer shell lies gobs of potential just waiting to be tapped. Anyways, isn’t it supposed to be true that most girls like picking boyfriends who they feel they can “fix?” What makes geeks awesome is that most of us are fairly intelligent and driven people. All that we lack is proper social training and someone who can tell us which clothes look best on us.

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In other words, there’s a high chance that with a bit of poking and prodding, us geeks can be turned into the perfect all-around boyfriend package. I can use myself as an example. Although I’m still pretty geeky, I’ve slowly evolved over time through exercise and social interaction (not unlike a Pokémon). I’m by no means perfect, but I think having that geeky base layer to my personality adds an inherent complexity to me that many other “normal” types lack.

2. We are super sincere

We geeks might not always do the right thing, and we might do it in an incredibly socially awkward way, but at the end of the day there is one thing you can always count on: we’re sincere.

Now, I’m not saying that all geeks are angels (far from it). However, we’ll definitely be way more honest with you than the average dude would be.

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On the flip side, many of the guys that girls usually go for have no trouble toying with their emotions. We geeks are too used to having our emotions toyed with to have the gall to do that to other people!

3. We can help you with your tech problems

Sure, this is kind of a stereotype, but it’s also one that holds true most of the time. Because we geeks aren’t out there getting all dirty in the mud whilst playing football, we get to spend our spare time figuring out how all of the gadgets and gizmos we all use work. I know that I personally spend a lot of time gaming on my PC, which eventually led to me figuring out all of these little tricks and workarounds to get the most performance out of it that I could. In a similar vein, I learned how to optimize the settings on my phone as well.

I shall spare you all of the tech-y specifics. Bottom line is that geeks, more often than not, can help you with just about any issue you’re having with your technology.

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4. We aren’t mysterious… or are we?

The best part about being an awkward geek is that you often learn to embrace your awkwardness. By the way, this makes us really good at using self-deprecating humor by the way. What this means is that most geeks have stopped trying to be somebody they’re not. Most normal guys usually have this false air of confidence and chivalry that they surround themselves in when they want to impress people. We geeks have trouble masking our true selves thanks to our quirkiness, so what you see is usually what you get!

That said, geeks usually act differently with good friends than they do with strangers. As you get to know your geeky boyfriend, you might find that there’s far more there than what originally met your eyes.

5. We evolve

This one reminds me of that song by The Verve, “Bittersweet Symphony”. Its lyrics talk about how, for the most part, people can’t really change who they are at a core level. I believe that to be mostly true. However, I will say that us geeks try our darnedest to edit ourselves in ways that we believe our loved ones will appreciate. You, as the potential significant other of a geek,  should be super happy about that, as there are many folks out there who are dead-set on not making any changes to themselves no matter what kind of external factors are present.

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I might contend that our ability to evolve in this manner is derived from our near-universal love of the super geeky show Doctor Who, in which the Doctor once said…

“…we all change. When you think about it, we’re all different people, all through our lives. And that’s okay, that’s good; you’ve gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.”

When you’re a geek, you’re mind is exposed to so many fantastical worlds and concepts that it’s hard to think of yourself as “normal.” Thus, it’s almost impossible to live a “normal” life. Of course, that also has its pros and cons, but I think that you’ll enjoy the pros far more than you’ll dislike the cons.

With all that said, if you are a geek, or are currently dating one, I’d love if you sounded off in the comments below!

Featured photo credit: Am I Handsome?/Aikawa Ke via flic.kr

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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