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5 Positive Bands For Upbeat People

5 Positive Bands For Upbeat People

It is said that music calms the most savage of beasts. For a lot of people, certain chord progressions or lyrical stylings do indeed make a large impact on the listener’s psyche. For that reason, the team here has put together a list of bands and musicians for those who want to introduce a little bit of symphonic karma into their lives.

Check out our list of 6 positive bands, as apportioned below.

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1. The Mowgli’s

The Mowgli’s are a septet mostly from Southern California with a large psychedelic sound and three lead vocalists. With two-to-three guitarists, an organist, drummer, bassist, and one female vocalist, The Mowgli’s create a rush of adrenaline and happiness that will leave you wondering, as they ask in a recent single, “How can anyone be living in a bad dream?” Younger than some of the other bands on the list, both of their studio albums, “Kids in Love,” and “Waiting for the Dawn,” are packed with tracks that will leave you feeling good about yourself. Check out their new single, “I’m Good,” in which the band decides to “see another love revolution.” Also check out “San Francisco,” which has to be the cutest music video I’ve ever seen.

2. Frank Turner (And The Sleeping Souls)

Frank Turner is a punk rock guitarist from London. He was previously in the band, “A Million Dead.” When they disbanded, Turner decided that playing music for a living was much more preferable to anything else. So Turner started churning out music and touring endlessly. Nowadays he sells out Wembley Stadium in England and gets a modest amount of attention in the US. The one defining factor about Turner is the people who like him freaking LOVE him. Oftentimes, when at Frank Turner concerts, it’s difficult from him to hear himself sing because everyone in the audience are screaming the lyrics back louder than his voice is coming out of his sound system. Songs you should listen to include “If Ever I Stray,” “Recovery,” and “Get Better,” which is the newest song off of his recently released album, “Positive Songs for Negative People.”

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3. The Polyphonic Spree

The Polyphonic Spree is a rock troupe from Dallas with upwards of a dozen members (mostly vocalists) who play a bevvy of songs mostly concerning light and the sun. Their music has been featured in the television show Scrubs and the movie The Lorax. Furthermore, their most well-known single, “Light and Day” was prominently included in the Jim Carrey movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” If you’re looking for whimsical choral music with a wide variety of instruments and a light vocal range, check them out. Either way, their cover of Nirvana’s “Lithium” is totally out of this world. It might even be better than the original.

4. Dispatch

Dispatch is composed of three gentlemen from New England who have gained a wild amount of success despite never signing to a record label of any sort. With incredibly illustrative and precise lyrics, complex drumbeats, and reggae style, Dispatch gained much of their success due to the pull of such songs as “The General,” and “Open Up.” While they owe some of their success to file sharing services such as Napster and Limewire, Dispatch’s real talent lies in their amazing stage presence, in which members switch instruments often and sometimes sing in foreign languages. Dispatch is a real treat. I recommend buying “Ain’t No Trip to Cleveland,” a double disc collection of their most recent live show. While there shows are often free, it’s still tough to get in. Their original going-away concert in Boston drew upwards of four hundred thousand people, with plenty concertgoers hanging on stoplights and climbing trees for a view. They are certainly a sight to see. Watch the recording of that last live Boston show for a taste. Yes, the guitarist is wearing a dress. And yes, those are hundreds of water bottles flying through the air.

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5. John Butler Trio

John Butler Trio is an Australian reggae-esque band composed mostly of John Butler and his dobro, which as a close to an approximation of a banjo as Australia can produce. Butler is known for his metaphysical and spiritualist views, his uniquely blended American-Australian heritage, and his tendency to solo with his dobro for minutes on end. While he is likely most famous for songs such as “Better Than,” and “Used to Get High,” his most sublime and inspiring work likely came during a live show at Red Rocks, the natural amphitheater in Colorado. In it, Butler riffs and solos endlessly on his banjo-esque instrument, running up and down scales, and creating for listeners the closest approximation to musical freedom there could be. The result is called, “Ocean,” and it is sublime.

Featured photo credit: stefanog.com/Anna Calvi via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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