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9 Qualities That Make Him A Man You Could Commit to Forever

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9 Qualities That Make Him A Man You Could Commit to Forever

Do you think your boyfriend would make a good husband? While passion is often enough to maintain a relationship at the beginning, there are other important qualities that you should look for in someone if you plan on spending the rest of your life with them.

From being committed to being willing to discuss problems, check out 9 qualities that make him not only a good boyfriend, but a good husband you would be happy to commit to.

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1. He Is Willing To Address Relationship Problems

A long-term relationship will struggle if your partner can’t tell when something is wrong. In a healthy relationship, problems will be brought up by both partners and they will be willing to discuss the problems without becoming angry or sad. Your husband should be someone who pays attention to your feelings regarding the relationship. It is very difficult for a marriage to last without putting in time and effort.

2. He Spends Time Thinking About Your Personal Problems

As well as caring about your feelings towards the relationship, your husband should be invested in your overall happiness in life. The person who you spend the rest of your life with should want to comfort you and help you whenever you are struggling. You should both take on each other’s problems and spend time thinking of ways to solve the problems as a team.

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3. He Is Committed To The Relationship

A marriage is a strong partnership between two people that can weather a few storms. If you are going to spend the rest of your lives together, you will go through hard times and sadness, and it is important to find a husband who is devoted to your relationship even if things are not going well.

4. He Is Wise

While it is nice to marry someone who is book smart, it is often more important to marry someone who is wise beyond as well as being book smart. Life experiences and other factors make him wise and able to support you during the tough times.

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5. He Knows You Better Than Anyone Else Does

If your husband doesn’t understand you, problems will arise that you will be unable to predict. The person you marry should know you well and be able to occasionally predict your reactions in tough situations. This will help you two to work as a team, and he will be able to rationalize and reduce your stress.

6. He Knows How To Comfort You

Your husband is your life partner, and one of his main duties is comforting you in a way that no-one else can. After a hard day he will know exactly what to do to make you feel better, from giving you a long hug to pouring you a glass of wine. His love will raise your spirits and motivate you to go on.

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7. He Understands That You Make Mistakes

Everyone screws up, and your life partner should be there to help you when you do. Instead of becoming angry or frustrated, your partner should be understanding and patient. You’re in this together, and it is important to help each other rather than watch each other suffer.

8. He Gives You Feedback Rather than Silence

In a healthy relationship, no-one is scared to be honest. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and your partner should understand the right time and place to give you feedback. Everyone makes mistakes – discuss them without anger, fix the mistakes, then laugh about them together.

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9. He Pays Attention To The Little Things

Your husband doesn’t need to know every single detail of your life, but he should take note of the little things that are important to you. From putting on your favorite DVD to remembering to walk the dog, your husband should make little gestures that show his love.

What did you think of this list? Share it with your boyfriend or husband to see what they think!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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