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9 Qualities That Make Him A Man You Could Commit to Forever

9 Qualities That Make Him A Man You Could Commit to Forever

Do you think your boyfriend would make a good husband? While passion is often enough to maintain a relationship at the beginning, there are other important qualities that you should look for in someone if you plan on spending the rest of your life with them.

From being committed to being willing to discuss problems, check out 9 qualities that make him not only a good boyfriend, but a good husband you would be happy to commit to.

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1. He Is Willing To Address Relationship Problems

A long-term relationship will struggle if your partner can’t tell when something is wrong. In a healthy relationship, problems will be brought up by both partners and they will be willing to discuss the problems without becoming angry or sad. Your husband should be someone who pays attention to your feelings regarding the relationship. It is very difficult for a marriage to last without putting in time and effort.

2. He Spends Time Thinking About Your Personal Problems

As well as caring about your feelings towards the relationship, your husband should be invested in your overall happiness in life. The person who you spend the rest of your life with should want to comfort you and help you whenever you are struggling. You should both take on each other’s problems and spend time thinking of ways to solve the problems as a team.

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3. He Is Committed To The Relationship

A marriage is a strong partnership between two people that can weather a few storms. If you are going to spend the rest of your lives together, you will go through hard times and sadness, and it is important to find a husband who is devoted to your relationship even if things are not going well.

4. He Is Wise

While it is nice to marry someone who is book smart, it is often more important to marry someone who is wise beyond as well as being book smart. Life experiences and other factors make him wise and able to support you during the tough times.

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5. He Knows You Better Than Anyone Else Does

If your husband doesn’t understand you, problems will arise that you will be unable to predict. The person you marry should know you well and be able to occasionally predict your reactions in tough situations. This will help you two to work as a team, and he will be able to rationalize and reduce your stress.

6. He Knows How To Comfort You

Your husband is your life partner, and one of his main duties is comforting you in a way that no-one else can. After a hard day he will know exactly what to do to make you feel better, from giving you a long hug to pouring you a glass of wine. His love will raise your spirits and motivate you to go on.

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7. He Understands That You Make Mistakes

Everyone screws up, and your life partner should be there to help you when you do. Instead of becoming angry or frustrated, your partner should be understanding and patient. You’re in this together, and it is important to help each other rather than watch each other suffer.

8. He Gives You Feedback Rather than Silence

In a healthy relationship, no-one is scared to be honest. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and your partner should understand the right time and place to give you feedback. Everyone makes mistakes – discuss them without anger, fix the mistakes, then laugh about them together.

9. He Pays Attention To The Little Things

Your husband doesn’t need to know every single detail of your life, but he should take note of the little things that are important to you. From putting on your favorite DVD to remembering to walk the dog, your husband should make little gestures that show his love.

What did you think of this list? Share it with your boyfriend or husband to see what they think!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

The Art of Humble Confidence

The Art of Humble Confidence

To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.

East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing

In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:

Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo – “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
[He does]
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”

In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.

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These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending the two: becoming somewhat humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.

Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It

I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.

The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.

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Know When to Shut Up and Learn

If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.

But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:

  • You learn more.
  • Smooths relationships.
  • Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.

Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.

Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn

In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.

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Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?

Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.

Persuade Less, Learn More

Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.

Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.

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Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills

This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.

The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.

Featured photo credit: BBH Singapore via unsplash.com

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