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9 Qualities That Make Him A Man You Could Commit to Forever

9 Qualities That Make Him A Man You Could Commit to Forever

Do you think your boyfriend would make a good husband? While passion is often enough to maintain a relationship at the beginning, there are other important qualities that you should look for in someone if you plan on spending the rest of your life with them.

From being committed to being willing to discuss problems, check out 9 qualities that make him not only a good boyfriend, but a good husband you would be happy to commit to.

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1. He Is Willing To Address Relationship Problems

A long-term relationship will struggle if your partner can’t tell when something is wrong. In a healthy relationship, problems will be brought up by both partners and they will be willing to discuss the problems without becoming angry or sad. Your husband should be someone who pays attention to your feelings regarding the relationship. It is very difficult for a marriage to last without putting in time and effort.

2. He Spends Time Thinking About Your Personal Problems

As well as caring about your feelings towards the relationship, your husband should be invested in your overall happiness in life. The person who you spend the rest of your life with should want to comfort you and help you whenever you are struggling. You should both take on each other’s problems and spend time thinking of ways to solve the problems as a team.

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3. He Is Committed To The Relationship

A marriage is a strong partnership between two people that can weather a few storms. If you are going to spend the rest of your lives together, you will go through hard times and sadness, and it is important to find a husband who is devoted to your relationship even if things are not going well.

4. He Is Wise

While it is nice to marry someone who is book smart, it is often more important to marry someone who is wise beyond as well as being book smart. Life experiences and other factors make him wise and able to support you during the tough times.

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5. He Knows You Better Than Anyone Else Does

If your husband doesn’t understand you, problems will arise that you will be unable to predict. The person you marry should know you well and be able to occasionally predict your reactions in tough situations. This will help you two to work as a team, and he will be able to rationalize and reduce your stress.

6. He Knows How To Comfort You

Your husband is your life partner, and one of his main duties is comforting you in a way that no-one else can. After a hard day he will know exactly what to do to make you feel better, from giving you a long hug to pouring you a glass of wine. His love will raise your spirits and motivate you to go on.

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7. He Understands That You Make Mistakes

Everyone screws up, and your life partner should be there to help you when you do. Instead of becoming angry or frustrated, your partner should be understanding and patient. You’re in this together, and it is important to help each other rather than watch each other suffer.

8. He Gives You Feedback Rather than Silence

In a healthy relationship, no-one is scared to be honest. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and your partner should understand the right time and place to give you feedback. Everyone makes mistakes – discuss them without anger, fix the mistakes, then laugh about them together.

9. He Pays Attention To The Little Things

Your husband doesn’t need to know every single detail of your life, but he should take note of the little things that are important to you. From putting on your favorite DVD to remembering to walk the dog, your husband should make little gestures that show his love.

What did you think of this list? Share it with your boyfriend or husband to see what they think!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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