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7 Signs He’s Not Just Your Boyfriend But Your Best Friend

7 Signs He’s Not Just Your Boyfriend But Your Best Friend

So having a boyfriend is great.. you get free compliments, a lot of cuddles, and something that’s not too bad to look at. But when do you know that your boyfriend has also become a best friend too? You’ve gone past the fussing about what to wear or which new lipstick to put on before you meet him or even worrying about why he hasn’t text back in the past half an hour, that’s because you’ve reached a new stage in the relationship that is a lot more natural. It’s called true friendship. So when do you know that you’ve gained not only an awesome boyfriend but a best friend? These are some of the most obvious signs:

1. You can complain to him about other people.

He’s almost like an “agony aunt” you can go to him when somebody’s annoyed you and he won’t judge you, in fact he’ll even join in. You’ll even create little characteristics and nicknames for people when you’re speaking about them.. “So Amy came in today.” “The one with nice hair but walks a bit funny?”

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2. He makes a hangover less painful.

The day after a night out when you’re feeling a little worse for wear is even (kind of?) enjoyable. This day is spent with you both in your pyjamas, Netflix on, holding a cup of tea and a bacon butty and laughing about the events of the night before. “Did you see Sarah getting with that weird bald guy who had a Star Trek tattoo?”

3. You send a picture.. the uglier, the better.

Long gone are the days of applying a bit of lippy or a smudge of foundation to make yourself look better for a shameless Snapchat selfie. The sillier the face, the funnier it is! You’re comfortable with him – he’s seen you without make up, slightly (majorly) drunk, and even hungover with one eyelash on your eye and the other stuck to your cheek and guess what? He still loves you!

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4. He looks after you when your on your period.

He might not understand the torture of bleeding for 4 days in a month and the horrible cramps and cravings for chocolate that come with it but he’s there. Ready with a good film, a lot of loving and a vast amount of carbs. And if he’s an extra good boyfriend, he might even nip to the shop for you for extra stock if you give him the puppy dog eyed look.

5. He’s easy going.

Why are men so relaxed and calm about everything?! Do they not realize that we’re 10 minutes late or that we have an exam tomorrow? Unfortunately for us girls we do get anxious and we do worry which is why it’s great to have a guy there. He calms you down and puts everything into a more positive perspective and has a more relaxed view on things. Hurrah!

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6. He compliments you.

Isn’t it great receiving compliments? One nice comment and suddenly your day seems a lot brighter. You put on an outfit you haven’t worn in a while and inside your worrying that it didn’t look as nice the first time you wore it but fear not there’s a gentle voice on your bed with the sweet words “You look really nice today babe.” Brownie boys for you Mister Boyfriend.

7. You don’t have to impress.

You’re at complete ease with him, you don’t feel like you have to put on an act or be somebody you’re not. Whether it be a day watching films together in sweats or a romantic meal at a nice restaurant, every date is a good one when it’s with him regardless of the price.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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