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Debunking Common Misconceptions: Parents In The Workplace

Debunking Common Misconceptions: Parents In The Workplace

Being a parent is tough. Whether you work full time, part time, from home, or not at all, it’s still hard. The many myths about parents circulating through the workplace it only make it harder. However, working parents make some of the best employees and leaders.

Here’s a guide to some of the most common misconceptions about parents at work and why they’re not true.

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Parents need more accommodations than other employees.

Asking for accommodations or flexible schedules is not unique to working parents only. I’ve worked with men that negotiated all air travel needs to be booked in business class or higher due to injuries. I’ve worked with twenty-somethings that requested to work a four day schedule so they could go back to school part time or pursue a volunteer opportunity. I’ve seen older adults in the workplace scale back their schedules so that they can spend more time at home with their significant others or to care for an ailing parent. Almost everyone has to cut out of the office every now and again for a doctor’s appointment or other personal matters.

Accommodations and flexible schedules seem to be synonymous with working parents, but in reality, they are not. Nearly every type of employee takes advantage (and is thankful) of accommodations in the workplace that allow work-life integration.

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Parents aren’t committed to their jobs.

This one is really surprising because it’s quite the contrary. There is actually strong evidence that parents are more committed to their jobs than many other employees. Traditionally, companies have rewarded men who become fathers with the “fatherhood bonus”, usually resulting in about a 6% increase in salary. Once you become a family man, you’re viewed as more dependable and more committed to your job since you now have to provide for a family. Women, on the other hand, experience the “motherhood penalty”, and many earn 4% less per child than they would have if they had remained childless. It’s based on the assumption that they are more distracted or will work less. However, working parents are some of the most efficient, focused employees out there. The constant juggle of managing a career with family commitments makes them well-equipped to prioritize and really be strategic about utilizing resources. Furthermore, parents are less likely to job hop than other employees. Stability is key when raising a family and the challenges associated with transitioning to a new work place or relocating are only considered when absolutely necessary.

Parents aren’t good team members.

Since parents have after-hours commitments, when they need to leave the office at 5 or aren’t able to come in before 9, most people think that the singletons on the team need to make up for it. In today’s technology embracing world, this is hardly the case. While many parents do limit their physical “in office” hours, most spend time on weekends, early mornings, and after work working. Limiting hours in the office isn’t unique to parents, many people with long commutes or global work spend only core hours in the office and complete a lot of their work at home before or after-hours. Besides, parents aren’t the only employees to take vacations. All team members usually have to cover for each other. Parents may be more inclined to take vacation during major holidays due to children’s school schedules, but putting programs in place that rotate vacation time periods during different holidays can help make sure that no one has to endure year after year with no time off during their favorite holiday.

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Don’t forget, parent’s are hugely efficient at scoping out job needs and responsibilities and getting work done timely – and usually within business hours. These skills can help any team be more productive.

Parents are at work only out of financial necessity.

Why would anyone want to leave their children behind and come to the workplace if they didn’t have to? Actually, a lot of people. Caring for children is a wonderful experience, but everyone needs a break. Many parents that pursued careers prior to becoming parents may still be interested in their field of work, finding the work intellectually stimulating and interesting. Sometimes, you need to connect with other adults and feel current in a world that doesn’t revolve around child rearing. Money is nice, and may be a main motivating factor for many people, but it’s certainly not the only reason that parents are there.

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The one issue that leaves parents at a significant disadvantage in the workplace is addressing last minute needs or a crisis that may crop up towards the end of the workday. This has little to do with anyone’s capability to deal with the issue, but more to do with the structure of childcare available for working parents. Most parents simply can’t extend their childcare past a certain hour without advance notice. While this may be challenging, I’d highly encourage dual working families to try to stay flexible and the parents help each other if one is experiencing an office fire towards the end of the day.

Alternatively, you could tackle the challenge by responding to the team with, “I’d like to take a few hours to evaluate this further. If it’s urgent enough, let’s plan a call tonight to review next steps, otherwise, we’ll regroup in the morning.” Most employees don’t want to be on a 9pm call and you’ll probably be able to restart in the morning.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Are you waking up each day looking for that perfect thing, activity, or job that will make your life work? Or, maybe you are looking for that perfect relationship. Once you “get” this new thing that will allow you to do what you love, you are sure that you will be happy forever.

In reality, life doesn’t work like that, and we would probably get bored if it did. There is likely no one thing, experience, or activity that will keep you feeling passionate and engaged all the time. What’s important is staying connected to what you love and continuing to grow in the process.

Here, we’ll talk about how to get started doing what you love and achieving more in life through the motivation it brings. Doing this doesn’t have to take a long time; it just takes determination and energy.

Most People Already Know Their Passion

So many people walk around in life “looking for” their passion. They look for it as if true passion is some mysterious thing that is difficult to find and runs away once you find it. However, the problem is rarely lack of passion.

Most of us already know what we love to do. We know what excites us, even if we haven’t done it for years. Instead, we focus on what we think we “must” do.

For example, maybe you love building model cars or painting pet portraits. Yet, each day you work a completely unrelated job and make no time for the activity you already know you love. The truth is you probably don’t need to find your passion; you just need to start doing what you already know you’re passionate about[1].

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No Activity Is Exciting All the Time

Even people who are living their dream lifestyle or working their dream job don’t love it all the time. Every job or lifestyle has parts of it that we won’t like.

Let’s say your dream is to become an actress, and you succeed. You may not enjoy the process of auditioning and facing rejection. You may experience moments of boredom when you practice your lines over and over again. But the overall experience is totally worth it.

Most of life is like that. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by demanding that life be perfect all the time. If things were perfect and easy, you would ultimately stop learning and growing, and life would begin to lack even more meaning in that case.

Be grateful for both the good and bad moments as they are both entirely necessary if you genuinely want to do what you love and love what you do.

Doing What You Love May Not Be Easy

Living a life you love is unlikely to be easy. If it was, you would not grow very much as a person. And, if you think about a great book or movie, the growth of the main character is what matters most.

What if the challenges you meet along your path to living a life you love were designed to make you grow as a person? You may actually start looking forward to challenges instead of dreading them. An easy life hardly ever makes a compelling story.

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If you struggle to overcome challenges, try writing them down each time you encounter one. Then, write down three ways you could tackle it. Try one, and if it doesn’t work, try another. This way, you’ll learn what does and doesn’t work for you.

How to Do What You Love

There are many small steps you can take to ensure you are making time to do the things you love. Start with these, and you’ll likely find that you’re already on the right track.

1. Choose Your Priorities Wisely

Many people claim they want to do something, yet they don’t do it. The truth is they might not really want to do it in the first place[2].

We all end up following through on what matters most to us. We make decisions moment by moment about what we need to focus on. What we choose to do is what we deem most important in our lives.

If there is something you claim you want to do but you don’t do it, try asking yourself how much you really want it or where it’s currently placed on priority list. Are there other things you want more?

Be honest with yourself: what you currently do each day is a reflection of your priorities. Recognize that you can change your priorities at any time.

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Make a list of your priorities. Really take the time to think this through. Then, ask yourself if what you are doing each day reflects them. For example, if you believe your top priority is spending more time with your family, but you consistently take on extra hours at work, you’re not really prioritizing things in the way you think you are.

If this is happening, it’s time to make a change.

2. Do One Small Thing Each Day

As stated above, doing what you love doesn’t have to mean finding that perfect job that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. If you want to do what you love, start with one small thing each day.

Maybe you love reading a good book. Take ten minutes before bed to read.

Maybe you love swimming. Get a membership at the local YMCA, and go there for thirty minutes after work each day.

Dedicating even a short amount of time to something that brings you joy each day will improve your life overall. You may find that, over time, a career path related to what you love to do pops up. After doing the thing you love each day, you’ll be more than prepared to take it on when the opportunity arises.

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If you need help making time for your passions, check out this article to get started.

3. Prepare to Make Sacrifices

If you are an exceptionally busy person (aren’t we all?), you may have to make sacrifices in order to make space for the things you are passionate about. Maybe you take on less extra hours at the office or take thirty minutes away from another hobby in order to develop another that you enjoy.

Looking at your priority list will help you decide what can get put on the back burner and what can’t. Remember, do this thinking about what will help you feel good about how you’re spending your time. 

For example, if you love writing but rarely make time for it, consider getting up 30 minutes earlier than normal. Or instead of browsing your phone for 30 minutes before bed, you can write instead. There is always a way to find time for what you love.

Final Thoughts

If you love what you do, each day becomes a joyful adventure. If you don’t love what you are doing, life feels like a chore. The best way to achieve success is to design a life you love and live it every day.

Remember, doing something you love doesn’t have to include big gestures or time-consuming projects. Start small and grow from there.

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Featured photo credit: William Recinos via unsplash.com

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