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Why It’s Perfectly OK Not To Have Kids

Why It’s Perfectly OK Not To Have Kids

Why should everyone be a parent? Or why should everyone be responsible for another person? We all are not the same in perceptions and reasoning. There are good reasons to not have children and it is perfectly alright if you really want to do your thing and make a mark on your environment even without kids. Here are some benefits from not having any children.

You are free

Whether it is traveling and going to destinations like Ibiza, Rabat, or Bangkok, when you do not have kids you’re more responsible for yourself and your pleasures. You really could pursue goals out of freedom, passion, and curiosity.

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You are less pressured

Of course with kids you want to be the ideal parent or someone your little one can look up to. When you have children there is the challenge of putting your children first and giving to them what they need to become better adults in the society.That pressure is not what everyone can deal with or feel comfortable with.

You have fewer choices to make

We all have different opinions on choices. For some, making too many choices is not their thing. They simply want to streamline and keep decision making as minimal as possible. However, with kids you don’t do that. Your choices can be one thing, which has to be considerate of them, and making choices for them can be another thing.

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The world is not really a nice place

Truthfully, not everything comes fairly these days. There are a lot of factors that are working against our society from global inequality to climate change. Certainly, there are so many horrors to deal with and you may be attentive or reflective enough not to bring a child into a world that is pretty far from perfect.

There is already a population that is out of control

There are a lot of cities with overcrowding already. There are also environmental concerns to worry about. For some, overpopulation is great. But beyond this debate, we can all agree that there is a rapidly growing population globally. You really may not want to add to a population crisis.

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You really may want to divert your funds to some other avenue

The average cost of raising a child in the United States is a quarter of a million dollars. You have to consider a lot of costs when it comes to raising kids. There are medical bills to pay, educational fees, and many others that could add up to a lot when raising children. All that money can be diverted into retirement funds or charitable causes.

You can find fulfillment in so many ways

Many consider having kids as a major way of finding fulfillment in our world today. Yes, this can be true; however, there are other ways one can seek fulfillment. You may find it by pursuing a career, or find delight in adventure, or engaging in creative pursuits. It doesn’t have to be simply through having children. We all have different ways of finding fulfillment.

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You really can build adult relationships

Not everyone is excited to listen to the sound of bickering from a bunch of noisy kids. Yes, children come with their own excitement, energy, and amusement, but some of us would really love to keep the relationships around us more mature and more intellectual. Such peace and serenity of being with people that have that mature intellectual ability may be what distinguishes you as an individual from others who are parents. You really are more selective in your relationships. It is not as if you are egotistical about it, it is just what tickles you and makes you happy.

At the end of the day, it is left for you to choose. Parenthood is pretty awesome for some, and there is nothing wrong with that. That said, you should also see the world from the perspective of those who do not want to have children.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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