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Why It’s Perfectly OK Not To Have Kids

Why It’s Perfectly OK Not To Have Kids

Why should everyone be a parent? Or why should everyone be responsible for another person? We all are not the same in perceptions and reasoning. There are good reasons to not have children and it is perfectly alright if you really want to do your thing and make a mark on your environment even without kids. Here are some benefits from not having any children.

You are free

Whether it is traveling and going to destinations like Ibiza, Rabat, or Bangkok, when you do not have kids you’re more responsible for yourself and your pleasures. You really could pursue goals out of freedom, passion, and curiosity.

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You are less pressured

Of course with kids you want to be the ideal parent or someone your little one can look up to. When you have children there is the challenge of putting your children first and giving to them what they need to become better adults in the society.That pressure is not what everyone can deal with or feel comfortable with.

You have fewer choices to make

We all have different opinions on choices. For some, making too many choices is not their thing. They simply want to streamline and keep decision making as minimal as possible. However, with kids you don’t do that. Your choices can be one thing, which has to be considerate of them, and making choices for them can be another thing.

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The world is not really a nice place

Truthfully, not everything comes fairly these days. There are a lot of factors that are working against our society from global inequality to climate change. Certainly, there are so many horrors to deal with and you may be attentive or reflective enough not to bring a child into a world that is pretty far from perfect.

There is already a population that is out of control

There are a lot of cities with overcrowding already. There are also environmental concerns to worry about. For some, overpopulation is great. But beyond this debate, we can all agree that there is a rapidly growing population globally. You really may not want to add to a population crisis.

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You really may want to divert your funds to some other avenue

The average cost of raising a child in the United States is a quarter of a million dollars. You have to consider a lot of costs when it comes to raising kids. There are medical bills to pay, educational fees, and many others that could add up to a lot when raising children. All that money can be diverted into retirement funds or charitable causes.

You can find fulfillment in so many ways

Many consider having kids as a major way of finding fulfillment in our world today. Yes, this can be true; however, there are other ways one can seek fulfillment. You may find it by pursuing a career, or find delight in adventure, or engaging in creative pursuits. It doesn’t have to be simply through having children. We all have different ways of finding fulfillment.

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You really can build adult relationships

Not everyone is excited to listen to the sound of bickering from a bunch of noisy kids. Yes, children come with their own excitement, energy, and amusement, but some of us would really love to keep the relationships around us more mature and more intellectual. Such peace and serenity of being with people that have that mature intellectual ability may be what distinguishes you as an individual from others who are parents. You really are more selective in your relationships. It is not as if you are egotistical about it, it is just what tickles you and makes you happy.

At the end of the day, it is left for you to choose. Parenthood is pretty awesome for some, and there is nothing wrong with that. That said, you should also see the world from the perspective of those who do not want to have children.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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