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Encountered Difficult People And Wanna Escape? No! You Should Deal With Them These 5 Ways

Encountered Difficult People And Wanna Escape? No! You Should Deal With Them These 5 Ways

The easiest thing to do is to run away from difficult people, but it’s also often the weakest option available to you. Who should you define as difficult people? They’re the ones who are hard to live, work or just co-exist with. They often bring out the worst in us by touching our deepest wounds through their attitudes and actions. But you can learn to survive and even thrive in your encounters with difficult people by reading the actionable tips below:

1. Appreciate the difficult people in your life

This is one of the hardest steps, but it’s also one of the most necessary. It’s easy to despair over those who make your life more challenging, but you have to learn to take comfort in all you can learn from your interactions with them. Treat difficult people like one of life’s tests, which, if it doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Your dealings with them, while often not pleasant, will help you build a resilience against other obstacles the world might put in your path. That inner strength will stick with you long after you and the difficult person in your life part ways.

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2. Enable the difficult people to bring out the best in you

As mentioned above, a difficult person is often someone who brings out the worst in us, either in our behavior, our state of mind or something else that affects us deeply. But, if the worst of you comes out in a difficult person’s presence, you have the opportunity to face those demons head-on. You can confront the harmful parts of your psyche by using difficult people as bait to lure them out. For example, if a co-worker chats and gossips all day while you’re hard at work, you’re probably going to become upset with them. But by making yourself accept that their actions are not your issue and letting go, you obtain a powerful meditative quality. Even if a difficult person never changes, you will still benefit in some way from the strife they cause you.

3. Spend more time with them

Instead of running away from your problems, it might be best to actually take a few steps in the direction of what’s causing you agony. Even if someone’s challenging you and adding stress to your life, sometimes they’re only difficult in your eyes because you’re expecting something they can’t deliver or setting unrealistic expectations for them. One way to shake those expectations is by getting to know them a little bit better. Perspective is everything, so learn about their circumstances and their point of view to better understand where they’re coming from.

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4. Set a goal

It’s always important, but goal setting is absolutely paramount when you’re dealing with difficult people. You need to decide in advance what you want to get out of your experiences with those difficult people. That could be something as simple as not being depressed or discouraged by their negative attitudes, or something more difficult like turning their attitudes around. Whatever your goal, always keep it in mind when dealing with difficult people.

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5. Try to make their lives less difficult

Sometimes people are difficult for a pretty obvious reason: they’ve faced a lot of adversity in their life. That adversity might be mental, emotional, physical, and so on, but whatever their struggles, you might be able to help them cope in a more healthy manner. Follow the Golden Rule of treating others as you want to be treated, even if they’re not doing the same in return. The difficult people in life might never reciprocate the good will you’ve shown them, but that’s just gravy. You’ll find yourself happier and more at peace just through taking the higher ground when dealing with difficult people.

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Matt OKeefe

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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