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Encountered Difficult People And Wanna Escape? No! You Should Deal With Them These 5 Ways

Encountered Difficult People And Wanna Escape? No! You Should Deal With Them These 5 Ways

The easiest thing to do is to run away from difficult people, but it’s also often the weakest option available to you. Who should you define as difficult people? They’re the ones who are hard to live, work or just co-exist with. They often bring out the worst in us by touching our deepest wounds through their attitudes and actions. But you can learn to survive and even thrive in your encounters with difficult people by reading the actionable tips below:

1. Appreciate the difficult people in your life

This is one of the hardest steps, but it’s also one of the most necessary. It’s easy to despair over those who make your life more challenging, but you have to learn to take comfort in all you can learn from your interactions with them. Treat difficult people like one of life’s tests, which, if it doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Your dealings with them, while often not pleasant, will help you build a resilience against other obstacles the world might put in your path. That inner strength will stick with you long after you and the difficult person in your life part ways.

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2. Enable the difficult people to bring out the best in you

As mentioned above, a difficult person is often someone who brings out the worst in us, either in our behavior, our state of mind or something else that affects us deeply. But, if the worst of you comes out in a difficult person’s presence, you have the opportunity to face those demons head-on. You can confront the harmful parts of your psyche by using difficult people as bait to lure them out. For example, if a co-worker chats and gossips all day while you’re hard at work, you’re probably going to become upset with them. But by making yourself accept that their actions are not your issue and letting go, you obtain a powerful meditative quality. Even if a difficult person never changes, you will still benefit in some way from the strife they cause you.

3. Spend more time with them

Instead of running away from your problems, it might be best to actually take a few steps in the direction of what’s causing you agony. Even if someone’s challenging you and adding stress to your life, sometimes they’re only difficult in your eyes because you’re expecting something they can’t deliver or setting unrealistic expectations for them. One way to shake those expectations is by getting to know them a little bit better. Perspective is everything, so learn about their circumstances and their point of view to better understand where they’re coming from.

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4. Set a goal

It’s always important, but goal setting is absolutely paramount when you’re dealing with difficult people. You need to decide in advance what you want to get out of your experiences with those difficult people. That could be something as simple as not being depressed or discouraged by their negative attitudes, or something more difficult like turning their attitudes around. Whatever your goal, always keep it in mind when dealing with difficult people.

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5. Try to make their lives less difficult

Sometimes people are difficult for a pretty obvious reason: they’ve faced a lot of adversity in their life. That adversity might be mental, emotional, physical, and so on, but whatever their struggles, you might be able to help them cope in a more healthy manner. Follow the Golden Rule of treating others as you want to be treated, even if they’re not doing the same in return. The difficult people in life might never reciprocate the good will you’ve shown them, but that’s just gravy. You’ll find yourself happier and more at peace just through taking the higher ground when dealing with difficult people.

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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