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Encountered Difficult People And Wanna Escape? No! You Should Deal With Them These 5 Ways

Encountered Difficult People And Wanna Escape? No! You Should Deal With Them These 5 Ways

The easiest thing to do is to run away from difficult people, but it’s also often the weakest option available to you. Who should you define as difficult people? They’re the ones who are hard to live, work or just co-exist with. They often bring out the worst in us by touching our deepest wounds through their attitudes and actions. But you can learn to survive and even thrive in your encounters with difficult people by reading the actionable tips below:

1. Appreciate the difficult people in your life

This is one of the hardest steps, but it’s also one of the most necessary. It’s easy to despair over those who make your life more challenging, but you have to learn to take comfort in all you can learn from your interactions with them. Treat difficult people like one of life’s tests, which, if it doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Your dealings with them, while often not pleasant, will help you build a resilience against other obstacles the world might put in your path. That inner strength will stick with you long after you and the difficult person in your life part ways.

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2. Enable the difficult people to bring out the best in you

As mentioned above, a difficult person is often someone who brings out the worst in us, either in our behavior, our state of mind or something else that affects us deeply. But, if the worst of you comes out in a difficult person’s presence, you have the opportunity to face those demons head-on. You can confront the harmful parts of your psyche by using difficult people as bait to lure them out. For example, if a co-worker chats and gossips all day while you’re hard at work, you’re probably going to become upset with them. But by making yourself accept that their actions are not your issue and letting go, you obtain a powerful meditative quality. Even if a difficult person never changes, you will still benefit in some way from the strife they cause you.

3. Spend more time with them

Instead of running away from your problems, it might be best to actually take a few steps in the direction of what’s causing you agony. Even if someone’s challenging you and adding stress to your life, sometimes they’re only difficult in your eyes because you’re expecting something they can’t deliver or setting unrealistic expectations for them. One way to shake those expectations is by getting to know them a little bit better. Perspective is everything, so learn about their circumstances and their point of view to better understand where they’re coming from.

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4. Set a goal

It’s always important, but goal setting is absolutely paramount when you’re dealing with difficult people. You need to decide in advance what you want to get out of your experiences with those difficult people. That could be something as simple as not being depressed or discouraged by their negative attitudes, or something more difficult like turning their attitudes around. Whatever your goal, always keep it in mind when dealing with difficult people.

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5. Try to make their lives less difficult

Sometimes people are difficult for a pretty obvious reason: they’ve faced a lot of adversity in their life. That adversity might be mental, emotional, physical, and so on, but whatever their struggles, you might be able to help them cope in a more healthy manner. Follow the Golden Rule of treating others as you want to be treated, even if they’re not doing the same in return. The difficult people in life might never reciprocate the good will you’ve shown them, but that’s just gravy. You’ll find yourself happier and more at peace just through taking the higher ground when dealing with difficult people.

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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