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Yes, It Hurts. Why Women Leave The Men They Love

Yes, It Hurts. Why Women Leave The Men They Love

No woman wants to leave the man she loves. Of course, she will feel terrible about it. It takes courage and a resolute spirit to walk away. Commitment comes at a price. A woman would love it if her man stuck around, did not cause her pain and was always the ideal man she loved in the first place. For a woman to continue stay in a relationship, the man has to learn how to value the woman and make her an important part of his world. Here are some reasons why women leave the men they love:

He lies

He may be a decent man, but lying breeds dishonesty and a tense environment. If he lies and makes it apparent that he is taking her for granted by lying to her, she should walk out on him.

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He is always working

Many women love luxury to come with their relationship with a man. It could be a nice car, a nice apartment or a trip to Paris. What lady doesn’t respect and love a man with drive and ambition? But this drive can’t put the relationship in jeopardy. Women love to see you, check in with you, and talk to you. Spending time with your woman could be the most important luxury in a relationship, and should not be taken for granted.

He is not attentive

Sometimes what a woman wants is for you to listen, to be attentive and for you to understand what she is about to say even when she has not said it. A woman loves an attentive man. But if the man is always caught up in his world, and never connects with his woman emotionally, things could go south.

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He is impassive

No woman adores a man who is bland or tasteless. He must not only be able to tell her he loves her – he has to show it. He has to prove it and be passionate about it.

He is immature

A woman needs someone who they can respect, not some man who has failed to abandon his childish habits. A woman wants someone who can stand up to his responsibilities. There is nothing great in having a man who still makes stupid decisions with his friends every now and then, or gets his mother’s opinion on everything he wants to do. Long term relationships require maturity, and a woman will look for that in her partner.

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He is selfish

I met a lady who told me this was the one reason she abandoned her man: he was selfish. Being selfish showed he was cheap, and could never go the extra mile to please his woman. It is cool if a man is trying to be frugal with his money, but when a man starts looking for free drink specials at a local bar every time he goes on a date, then he really is cheap and not just frugal. He’s more concerned with saving small amounts than his partner’s happiness.

He is secretive

A woman likes to know what a man is up to. A relationship needs trust and communication. But when the man starts hiding who he is or pretending to be what he is not, it turns a lady off and makes her uncomfortable in the relationship.

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Though these are some reasons a woman would leave a man she loves, not all women respond the same way to a particular crisis in a relationship. Some will stay put, others will become intolerant and leave. But for the man, it is always best to avoid a situation that will cause a divide between him and the woman who loves him.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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