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15 Things People With Scoliosis Want You To Understand

15 Things People With Scoliosis Want You To Understand

Scoliosis – adults have certainly heard the term and know that it refers to a curved spine. They don’t think about it much, though, because it isn’t publicized as a serious condition. And, they don’t really think of it as a handicap or disability either. It’s just one of those things that some people have.

Moderate to severe scoliosis, however, can be really debilitating and really painful, not to mention dangerous to lungs and the heart. While people don’t mean to be critical or mean, their lack of understanding about this condition often causes them to seem to be. So, here are 15 things that Scoliosis sufferers want others to know, so that these non-sufferers can have some empathy for the victims of the condition.

1. We have a real disability

No one really knows the cause, but I‘ve had it since the age of 11, and it got worse as I grew older. It now really impacts my life a lot, and there are lots of things I avoid because of it, not because I am anti-social or lazy.

2. We are in a lot of pain on the bad days

If I am complaining about back pain, it is because it has gotten so bad that I just can’t keep it in any longer. Please don’t make statements like I must have just “slept wrong” the night before. It would be nice to hear you say that you are sorry that I am in such pain and is there anything you can do? Just offering to get me a cold drink so I can down my pain meds would be appreciated.

3. We already feel really self-conscious about our looks

We are trying our best to stand up straight as much as we can. When you make comments like, “Don’t you think it would be good for you if you forced yourself to stand up straight?” you only make us more self-conscious. If I could stand straight more, I would — believe me. I don’t enjoy looking like this either. But it’s something I have to live with.

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4. We feel it differently every day

Some days the pain is minimal, other days it is so bad I even have to pull off the road until the spasms subside. So, if you see us doing pretty well one day and very badly the next, please don’t ask if we think some of it might be “mental.” It’s not. The nature of this condition is that there are good and bad days, and no one really knows why. That’s the frustrating part – there just aren’t the answers that all of us who have scoliosis really want and need. Research funding for Scoliosis is pretty minimal, since there are so many other life-threatening diseases that must take precedence.

5. We find desk work particularly hard

We “slouch” in our chairs as it is probably the most comfortable position anyone with scoliosis can get themselves into. Even the newer ergonomic chairs available in most offices don’t help much. Don’t make comments about how I am not using the chair properly — it is because I can’t.

Stand desks can be our best buddies, especially those DIY models you can assemble up to your liking. However, we can’t spend too much time in front of them either. We are not being picky or restless when it comes to our working places. It’s just a tad bit difficult for us to find the optimal position we can comfortably spend the whole day in.

6. We can’t make plans ahead of time

This is because we never know what kind of day we’ll be having. When we have to cancel something at the last minute, please know that we are as upset about the cancellation as you are. But please don’t get angry with us. If we had plans for an after-work Happy Hour, and we cancel, it is because the best we can do right now is get home and try to find some comfortable position that will ease the pain. We really do want a social life, but the scoliosis often gets in the way.

7. We don’t just have a crooked spine

That crooked spine causes many other things too. One of my hips is higher than the other, one shoulder blade protrudes more than the other, one of my legs is longer than the other. And my ribs push on my lungs, making it more difficult to breathe. If I am out of breath after walking around a bit, please don’t kid me about being out of shape. It’s my ribs that are out of shape, not me. I get as much exercise as I am able, but my breathing issues do keep me from a lot of the physical activity that you take for granted. Even walking up and down hills is really tough for me.

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8. We have to turn down offers to join the office volleyball team and most other group activities

When we turn down offers to be on the office volleyball/baseball/golf/any other team, please don’t think we are being “standoffish” or “unsociable.” We would love for someone to ask us to come and be the scorekeeper or perform some other supportive duty. In fact, we usually volunteer in these circumstances. We really do want to be a part of what others are doing, but often we have to participate in a different way.

9. We experience certain emotional consequences to scoliosis

We don’t just have good and bad days related to the levels of pain. We have emotionally good and bad days too. The lack of being able to lead a normal life, the pain, and the physical appearance just really get to us sometimes. We try to put on a “tough” exterior, but we can’t always keep it together. So if we seem depressed or if you see us getting teary-eyed, please don’t tell us to put a smile on our face and “snap out of it.”

Some days I just don’t want to, and others days I just can’t. If you could put yourself in my position, if only for a day, you would understand, I know. But since you cannot, please just give me a kind empathetic statement, like “I am sorry you are having a bad day. If there is anything I can do, please tell me.” That lets me know you care, and that is important.

10. We have troubles with finding clothes that fit well

Given that one shoulder and one hip are higher than the other, given that my stomach and butt may protrude, given that my ribs are protruding on one side, I have to carefully select the clothing I buy in order to hide as much of my physical deformities as possible.

Most of us actually prefer winter because we can look quite stylish in clothes that are bulky. Spring and summer are the bad months, because the clothing reveals so much more of the body. So, if we seem really out of style with our clothing selections, especially in the warm seasons, please understand that we would love to dress more fashionably, but we just cannot make ourselves expose the “deformities.”

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11. We can suddenly experience tremendous pain

Simple things can send our back, legs, and ankles into spasms of pain. I dread colds, because a simple cough or sneeze can “do me in.” If I bump into a desk or chair, or have a little minor fender bender, I can be in pain for hours afterward.

It’s easy to think of us as hypochondriacs, I know, but please understand that we are not exaggerating the pain, and that we are not looking for sympathy. Please just acknowledge that our pain is real. When we see you and someone else rolling your eyes at one another while we are experiencing spasms of pain, it starts hurting even more!

12. We are not lazy

Very basic activities, like cleaning the house, involve some pretty major planning. First, we can only do this on the “good days.” Second, it takes us twice as long as someone else to complete the same cleaning chores. We have to mop, dust, and vacuum very carefully and slowly. We have to avoid bumping into things. We have to watch our stretching, pulling, and pushing.

So, if you should visit me at my house and it is not clean, please do not think I am a bad housekeeper. Understand that I probably have not had a good enough day to get the house cleaned this week. And please don’t go out and comment to others about the condition of my home. It’s hurtful, and giving people the impression that I am lazy is not fair.

13. We don’t usually go to the pool or to the beach

I don’t do this because I would never put on a swimming suit. If I ever do attend an outing of that type, the best I can do is shorts and a good-sized T-shirt. I may dangle my feet into the pool from the side or walk into the shallow part of the lake or ocean, but I will not be swimming.

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Please don’t chide us for not bringing a swimsuit – we feel badly enough about it already. Swimming is actually a good exercise for us, and we do go to rehab centers often because they have a pool and we can swim with other Scoliosis patients.

14. We will gladly explain Scoliosis if asked

When people ask us to explain the condition, it makes us feel good. Obviously, the person wants to understand why we have the symptoms and why too many activities are so difficult and/or painful for us. Believe me, I keep up on all of the latest research and treatments because I want to take advantage of anything that might ease my symptoms. How much time have you got?

15. We may not be active participants in all of our kids’ activities

We really want to be. So, if the girl scouts are planning a weekend campout, we do want to go. We will bring our pain meds and we will tell you what we can and cannot do. We may not be able to paddle a canoe, and we may not be able to go along on a nature hike up and down hills, but we will bring the guitar and teach the girls some great fun songs around the campfire at night.

We may not be able to participate in the parent-son softball game, but we would love to help out in some other way on game day. We’ll volunteer to pass out drinks. We’ll wash the team uniforms after the game. We’ll be the best vocal cheerleaders ever. Please find a spot for us!

Scoliosis is permanent. And that realization to sufferers is very difficult to deal with. Most who have it started out with a very mild form that developed during a growth spurt period before puberty. Over the years, however, it gradually worsened, and no one really knows why. Some people develop a very mild form that stays very mild all of their lives. Others are severely handicapped by it as adults. If you work or socialize with someone who has moderate-to-severe Scoliosis, it would be really nice to do a bit of research so that you can understand the condition better.

Featured photo credit: angela c. via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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