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Things To Remember When You Love Someone With Paranoid Personality Disorder

Things To Remember When You Love Someone With Paranoid Personality Disorder

When you think of paranoid people, you may think of some weird bearded hermit in the woods, muttering about how “they” are out to get him.

But paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a real mental disorder which hits real people. As it afflicts between 2.3 percent to 4.4 percent of the general population, you have likely met someone with this disorder in your life. Perhaps you have tried to be their friend, or perhaps you are or want to be even closer than that.

Such a situation can be difficult. But it does not deserve sympathy, but understanding. Attempting to sympathize with someone with PPD is one of the worst things which you can do. The paranoid person will just grow suspicious at seeing someone be sympathetic towards him, and will just spiral deeper into further paranoia.

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What is PPD?

Psych Central states Paranoid Personality Disorder “…is characterized by a pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent.”

The most important thing to remember is that paranoia is not just that fear that “they” are out to get him. It is an inability to trust others and a willingness to believe the worst of others as well as their motives. All emotions are amplified, like having a constant cell phone booster attached to your head. A colleague’s slight ribbing can be interpreted as vicious mockery. And as noted above, sympathy can be viewed as a clever ploy which will be used to eventually deceive them.

Because of the fear of being called “paranoid” by society, those who suffer from this disability will it. But there are successful people who psychologists have good reason to believe suffered from this disorder.

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Perhaps the best example is Richard Nixon. Nixon had a difficult time trusting others throughout his career, and was always worried about being defeated or losing. It was this fear which caused him to order the Watergate break-in even though he was all but certain to win the  1972 election, and it was this fear which made him record everything in the White House – records which would eventually lead to his downfall.

But while Nixon’s name will be forever associated with the Watergate incident, we should not forget that he did many great things as President. He established relations between America and China. He established the Environmental Protection Agency, and desegregated Southern schools. Nixon is an example of how those with this disorder can be both great, intelligent individuals who are held back by their constant suspicious of others.

What does PPD mean to you?

Those outside the world of paranoid personality disorder may feel shocked or irritated when they are pushed by someone with this disorder. But they have to understand just how difficult it is to trust.

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We all have someone who we just do not like or trust at all. If that person came up to you, offered you a beer, and acted like he was your best friend in the world, would you feel happy? Perhaps. But most people would wonder, “Just what is he up to?”

For someone with paranoid personality disorder, everyone is that person. Some do not even realize that they are so suspicious but cannot help themselves. But that suspicion of ill intentions is always there, and it can hurt their work and their relationships.

Now, people with PPD can eventually trust others. But it is hard work, and can be lost easily if you are not careful. Those in a relationship need to understand this.

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How can you help?

If you think that someone you love has this disorder, just straight up suggesting counseling is not the best idea. Someone who is naturally suspicious will only grow more so upon such a suggestion, both of you as well as the very idea of counselling. If someone with PPD does not think he has a problem, then there is nothing you can do.

But this does not mean to just let them get away with everything they want. While some may think that people with PPD will go nuts if their relations do not do everything which they command, this is absolutely not the case. They can understand that everyone has their limits, especially because their limits are so low.

Setting boundaries is an important part of any relationship, both in establishing a strong relationship and repairing a broken one. It is even more crucial in these cases. If there are no boundaries, your partner may very well begin pushing you into areas you do not want to test your trust. Do not play those games, be firm, and respect yourself to respect him.

Understand that in the world of one with PPD, everyone is mistrustful. But trust is not impossible to gain. And if you can find a relationship with someone like that, understanding can help establish boundaries which can get through almost anything.

Featured photo credit: Yun Huang Yong via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 23, 2019

50 Habits of Highly Successful People You Should Learn

50 Habits of Highly Successful People You Should Learn

If you’re like me and really into self-development, you’ve probably read many of the thousands of self-help books out there on the market. But also like me, you probably find all the information a bit overwhelming.

That’s why I wanted to do the self-less task of taking the most important, life-changing lessons I’ve drawn from these books and condensed them into fifty key points.

Here’re 50 habits of highly successful people you should learn:

1. Believe It to See It

Our minds tend to focus on what’s happening around us and refuse to see what could happen. Only when you trust in what’s possible and dare to dream big, big things can happen for you.

2. See Problems as a Wonderful Gift

While others only see problems and give up, successful people use the problem as a lesson to find improvement in themselves or the task at hand.

3. Keep Looking for Solutions

Even if they’re knee-deep in problems, successful people will still put all of their focus on finding solutions.

4. Remember It’s All About the Journey

Successful people are conscious and methodical in creating their own success. They don’t sit around doing the bare minimum, hoping success finds them.

5. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

There’s so much fear on the road to success, but instead of letting that fear control and limit them, successful people do a good job of just forging ahead regardless.

6. Always Ask Productive Questions

It’s all about asking the right questions. Successful people make sure they are questions that will elicit information for a more productive, creative and positive mindset moving forward.

7. Understand the Best Waste of Energy Is Complaining

Successful people know that choosing to see the negative side of things will only create a useless and unproductive state.

8. Don’t Play the Blame Game

Taking responsibility for actions and outcomes is a form of empowerment that you can build your success upon. While the act of blaming others or outside circumstances takes this empowerment away from you.

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9. Maximize Your Strengths

Not every successful person is simply more talented than the rest, but they do use what they know they’re good at to achieve more successful results.

10. Be in It to Win It

Successful people are busy, productive and proactive. Instead of sitting around over-thinking and over-planning a great idea, they just take a step towards it no matter how small.

11. Know That Success Attracts Success

People who are successful surround themselves and seek out like-minded people. They understand the importance of being part of a team and forge win-win relationships.

12. Actually Choose to Be Successful

Dreaming big is a massive part of being successful even if your dream seems impossible. Ambition is a mindset that needs to be a daily conscious choice.

13. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize!

You’ve got to see your success in your mind’s eye even before it comes. Successful people clarify and get that certainty about what they want their reality to look like rather than being mere spectators of life.

14. Be a One-Off Original

Successful people look for what’s working and then create a unique spin on it. Imitating only regurgitates other people’s ideas with no originality.

15. The Perfect Time to Act Is Now

Waiting for the right time to act is basically procrastination wrapped up in an excuse. Successful people know there’s never a perfect time so they may as well just do it now.

16. Keep Learning, Keep Growing

Continuous learning is the key to a successful life. Whether it’s academic, being a student of life or actionable learning, it’s all about expanding your knowledge and personal development.

17. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Successful people have the knack for finding positive aspects in all people and circumstances no matter what.

18. Having a Bad Day? Do It Anyway!

We all have bad moods but it shouldn’t be an excuse to stop everything. Giving into a bad mood just stop-starts your life, slowing success way down.

19. Sometimes Risky Business Is Needed

Calculated risks are a must for success. It’s about weighing the pros and cons while moving forward with that element of trust.

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20. Accept Challenge All the Time

Dealing with problems head-on is a must to be successful. Successful people also face challenges in order to improve themselves.

21. Make Your Own Luck

In the mindset of a successful person, there’s no such thing as ‘luck’ or ‘fate’. They take control to actively and consciously create their own best life.

22. Ignite Your Initiative

While many people are reactive, successful people are proactive – taking action before they have to.

23. Be the Master of Your Emotions

Being effective at managing emotions is key on the road to success. That’s not to say successful people don’t feel like we all do, but they’re just not slaves to their emotions.

24. Champion in Communication

Consciously working on effective communication skills gets anyone closer to success.

25. Plan Your Life Strategically

Successful people’s lives aren’t a clumsy series of unplanned events and outcomes, they methodically work at turning their plans into a reality.

26. Become Exceptional at What You Do

To become exceptional, you typically have to do things that most won’t. To become successful, hard decisions need to be made and acting on them is crucial.

27. Choose to Live Outside of Your Comfort Zone

While many people are pleasure junkies and avoid pain and discomfort at all costs, successful people understand the value and benefits of working through the tough stuff that most would avoid.

28. Live by Core Values

Successful people firstly identify their core values and what’s important to them, then do their best to live a life that reflects these values.

29. Realize Money Isn’t Everything

Money and success are not interchangeable and the most successful people understand this. Putting money on a pedestal and equating it to success is a dangerous mindset to have. Success comes in many forms.

30. Don’t Get Carried Away

Successful people understand the importance of discipline and self-control and as a result they are happy to take the road less travelled.

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31. Self-Worth Is Not Tied to Success

Successful people are secure. They do not derive their self-worth from what they own, who they know, where they live or what they look like.

32. Kindness Breeds Kindness (And Success)

Generosity and kindness is a common trait among long-term successful people. It’s important to take pleasure in helping others achieve.

33. More Humility, Less Arrogance

Successful people are humble and happy to admit and apologize for mistakes. This is because they’re confident in their ability. They are happy to learn from others and happy to make others look good rather than seek their own personal glory.

34. Change Opens New Doors

People who are successful are adaptable and embrace change, while the majority are creatures of comfort and habit. They are comfortable with, and embrace, the new and the unfamiliar.

35. Success Requires a Healthy Body

It’s not just how you think, it’s about how you show up for success. Successful people understand the importance of being physically well, not for vain reasons but because being in tiptop condition creates a better personal life for success.

36. Laziness Just Doesn’t Exist

Successful people are never considered lazy. Yes, they can relax when they need to, but working hard is their game.

37. Resilience by the Bucket Load

When difficulty strikes, most would throw in the towel, but successful people are just warming up.

38. Feedback Is Just Another Chance to Improve

How people react to feedback determines their potential for success. Being open to constructive criticism and acting on it to improve is most seen in those who are successful.

39. Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

If people are hanging out with toxic and negative people, then they need to take a look at themselves. Successful people hang out with others who are positive and supportive.

40. Can’t Control It? Forget It

Successful people don’t invest time or emotional energy into things which they have no control of.

41. Swim Against the Tide

Successful people are not people-pleasers and they don’t need constant approval from others in order to move ahead.

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42. Alone Time Is Valuable Time

More self-worth means being more comfortable with your own company. Successful people are more happy and see the value in spending time alone.

43. Self-Standard Is Higher Than Most

Everyone has a choice to set high standards for themselves. Successful people do this, which in turn produces greater commitment, more momentum, a better work ethic and of course, better results.

44. Failure Isn’t Rationalized

While many use age, health, lack of time, ‘bad luck’, or lack of opportunity to explain away their failure, the key to success is finding a way to succeed despite facing these challenges.

45. Down Time Is an Important Part of a Routine

Having an off switch and taking time to do things that make them happy is a common trait of a successful person. Take a look at here The Importance of Scheduling Downtime.

46. Career Isn’t Who You Are, It’s What You Do

Successful people know their career isn’t their identity. They are multi-dimensional and don’t define themselves by their job.

47. Be Interested in Only the Path of Resistance

While most people look for the easiest way or the shortcut, successful people are more interested in the most effective way. They look for the course of action which will produce the best results over the long term.

48. Follow Through

Many spend their life starting things that they never finish, but successful people get the job done. Even when the excitement and the novelty has worn off they still follow through and finish.

49. Invest in All Your Dimensions

We’re not just physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well. Successful people consciously work at being healthy and productive on all levels.

50. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

To obtain success, it’s important to practice what you preach. Successful people don’t talk about the theory, they live the reality.

So there you have it, a summary of what I’ve learned from self-help books. But of course, you need to start taking actions so you will get closer to success too.

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Featured photo credit: Juan Jose via unsplash.com

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