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Bold And Bossy? 5 Reasons Why I’m Not An Apologetic Woman

Bold And Bossy? 5 Reasons Why I’m Not An Apologetic Woman

I grow weary of being told how a lady should conduct herself. When I should speak, how I should dress, what is usually reserved for men, and why it’s not okay to be bold. I like to speak my mind and not be penalized for having an original thought. I like to engage in verbal debates without fear of repelling a potential suitor by my candor. I believe I shouldn’t be made to feel my fierce boldness is anything less than quick-witted.

Sorry, not sorry.

1. I Go After What I Want

Too often, women who go after what they want are classified as being overly ambitious or too aggressive. Commonly accepted qualities usually associated with men.For a woman to be a go-getter is suggesting, she cares only about her acquired success while having little to no concern for others. Women are supposed to be nurturers and caregivers, not hungry for fulfillment. Right!? This couldn’t be further from the truth.

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I go after what I want because I know what I deserve, I expect more out of myself, and I acquire more to have more to give.

2. I Get Stuff Done

I’m not the girl who waits to be invited to the table. While you’re wondering if you should politely ask for the opportunity, I’ve already seated myself and fixed myself a plate. I enjoy checking things off my list and seeing the fruits of my labor. I also believe I can be an example for young girls to step up to the plate.

Not because of being a girl and having to prove your worth, but because you know you can get the job done better than anyone else.

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3. I Set Standards

I never understood why a decisive woman was always considered a difficult woman. If I know being cooped up in a car for more than 8hrs. to travel anywhere, will cause me to be irritable. Why would I agree to your road trip? I’ll fly. If I were invited to a BBQ that doesn’t fit my dietary lifestyle, why would I not pack my own food in my purse? (Yes, I’m that girl.) If talking only to men who match the same drive as mine, makes me picky, I will wear that badge with honor.

I work hard to enjoy my way of life and I have grown to learn about my likes & dislikes. To bend at the will of anything thrown my way and pressured to happily accept, negates all the effort and energy spent cultivating a woman who respects herself and her time.

4. I Have My Own Thoughts

I will not agree to the common consensus because everyone thinks it sounds logical. I want to explore all angles, come to a sound reasoning based off critical thought and discussion. Sometimes this means I will not agree with the most popular opinion and it definitely means I won’t win every battle.

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What I do know is open dialogue gives a voice to the often unheard, creates a space for enlightened conversations, and helps everyone in the room grow.

5. I Have Attitude

If I’m talking about something really important, there is usually passion in my delivery. This is often confused with, an attitude. I believe firmly in my statements, thoughts and opinions.This is what sets me apart. It represents what I’ve gone through, and made it out alive. It reveals the fight and emotion in me. It shows I stand for something and I hold firm to my truth.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fire burning bright in me.

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I speak my mind every chance I get because I once, allowed myself to be a doormat. Because I didn’t like how that felt. Because I promised myself I would never feel that way again. Because I keep my promises…and you will always know my true thoughts on a subject.

Because this allows you to learn more beautiful parts of me, and gives me the room to be bolder.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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