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Bold And Bossy? 5 Reasons Why I’m Not An Apologetic Woman

Bold And Bossy? 5 Reasons Why I’m Not An Apologetic Woman

I grow weary of being told how a lady should conduct herself. When I should speak, how I should dress, what is usually reserved for men, and why it’s not okay to be bold. I like to speak my mind and not be penalized for having an original thought. I like to engage in verbal debates without fear of repelling a potential suitor by my candor. I believe I shouldn’t be made to feel my fierce boldness is anything less than quick-witted.

Sorry, not sorry.

1. I Go After What I Want

Too often, women who go after what they want are classified as being overly ambitious or too aggressive. Commonly accepted qualities usually associated with men.For a woman to be a go-getter is suggesting, she cares only about her acquired success while having little to no concern for others. Women are supposed to be nurturers and caregivers, not hungry for fulfillment. Right!? This couldn’t be further from the truth.

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I go after what I want because I know what I deserve, I expect more out of myself, and I acquire more to have more to give.

2. I Get Stuff Done

I’m not the girl who waits to be invited to the table. While you’re wondering if you should politely ask for the opportunity, I’ve already seated myself and fixed myself a plate. I enjoy checking things off my list and seeing the fruits of my labor. I also believe I can be an example for young girls to step up to the plate.

Not because of being a girl and having to prove your worth, but because you know you can get the job done better than anyone else.

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3. I Set Standards

I never understood why a decisive woman was always considered a difficult woman. If I know being cooped up in a car for more than 8hrs. to travel anywhere, will cause me to be irritable. Why would I agree to your road trip? I’ll fly. If I were invited to a BBQ that doesn’t fit my dietary lifestyle, why would I not pack my own food in my purse? (Yes, I’m that girl.) If talking only to men who match the same drive as mine, makes me picky, I will wear that badge with honor.

I work hard to enjoy my way of life and I have grown to learn about my likes & dislikes. To bend at the will of anything thrown my way and pressured to happily accept, negates all the effort and energy spent cultivating a woman who respects herself and her time.

4. I Have My Own Thoughts

I will not agree to the common consensus because everyone thinks it sounds logical. I want to explore all angles, come to a sound reasoning based off critical thought and discussion. Sometimes this means I will not agree with the most popular opinion and it definitely means I won’t win every battle.

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What I do know is open dialogue gives a voice to the often unheard, creates a space for enlightened conversations, and helps everyone in the room grow.

5. I Have Attitude

If I’m talking about something really important, there is usually passion in my delivery. This is often confused with, an attitude. I believe firmly in my statements, thoughts and opinions.This is what sets me apart. It represents what I’ve gone through, and made it out alive. It reveals the fight and emotion in me. It shows I stand for something and I hold firm to my truth.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fire burning bright in me.

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I speak my mind every chance I get because I once, allowed myself to be a doormat. Because I didn’t like how that felt. Because I promised myself I would never feel that way again. Because I keep my promises…and you will always know my true thoughts on a subject.

Because this allows you to learn more beautiful parts of me, and gives me the room to be bolder.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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