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How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

A lot of relationships are haunted by the fact that their partners could be cheating on them. Some of them may purely rely on suspicions while some are simply paranoid. Some may trust their partners so much that they only leave the idea at the back of their heads and not entertain the situation. Even if we are in a very happy relationship, we must not deny that having a cheating partner is still a possibility. In case your suspicions start to grow then the following tips can be helpful for you. Here are a few tips on how to tell if someone is cheating on you.

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    Also, you might want to consider the following points:

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    1. Trust your instincts. If you have a history of being paranoid all the time or are dealing with a lot of insecurities then this advice isn’t for you. But in any other case, your suspicion will not just fall on your lap unless your partner shows signs or suggests being unfaithful on his/her part. Listen deep inside your heart and start looking for evidences to prove your suspicion.
    2. If you can tell that there is already an emotional distance between you two then it can be possible that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you. An emotional distance is when things are no longer the same as they used to be, when you both started dating. For example, if your husband always expects you to massage him before going to sleep or he asks you to cook him his favorite meal on Friday dinners but lately he no longer asks for it then that could be something suspicious.
    3. When your partner no longer has enough time for you despite not being promoted at work or no new avenues such as a new business or a new hobby then that could be another sign that he/she could be cheating on you. Keep in mind that when this relationship started, both of you were around each other all the time and changing that part means something has changed.
    4. When your partner no longer wants to experience a special moment in his life with you then that means something fishy. For example, if it is your couple’s dream to travel in Europe but when your partner finally got the chance to do so yet is not considering having you but instead travels with friends then that might mean that your growing suspicions are indeed true.
    5. If your partner ditches you or avoids spending time with you but instead lets you spend your free time with other people is another sign that he or she could be cheating on you. The rationalization of this scenario is that “if you can get to spend time with other people then it would be okay for me to hang around with other people as well”. It is a play-safe strategy to cover up for infidelity in case he or she gets caught hanging around with the person they’re is cheating with.
    6. People who are constantly checking on their phones or someone who panics whenever someone calls them or receive a text message when their partner is around is most likely cheating on their partner. If you have nothing to worry about then you should feel secure if your partner checks on your phone. You should never be afraid to let your partner scroll through your inbox or phonebook if you aren’t doing anything that could upset him or her.
    7. If he or she used to be a mushy person who used to constantly remind you of their love for you but all of a sudden stopped being cheesy with you anymore, it’ss also another sign of infidelity. Even if this could fall under the 2nd tip mentioned, it is specified because not all people have this aspect of their personality and this could make a partner easily detect cheating.
    8. Cheating can drain your partner’s emotional and physical energy because they spend a lot time dealing with fear of being caught and clearing evidences that can prove their infidelity. If you can notice that your partner is frequently tired and exhausted even if all he/she did is a regular day’s work then that could possibly be because he or she has been cheating on you.
    9. Knowing that your partner has been going out a lot lately and having fun with a new found friend that hasn’t been introduced to you yet is also another sign. Once that newfound friend has been confirmed to be someone of the opposite sex then it is time to keep a watchful eye on your partner.
    10. Another tip in order to tell if someone is cheating on you is when they turn the tables on you accusing you of infidelity even if you are doing nothing and are totally innocent. This is a defensive mechanism for a cheater so that the spotlight will be taken away from him or her and the focus will be on the partner. If that person will be very hysterical even with just a very small yet unreliable evidence for his or her suspicion then that could mean the other way around.

    Infidelity is one of the biggest reasons out there why relationships fail. However, if you are just relying on suspicion towards your partner, then you might as well get some evidence before you accuse him of cheating. Trust is a major factor in a relationship and if you mistakenly accused him or her of something that he or she didn’t commit, then that goes to show that you do not fully trust your partner, yet. Gather concrete evidence or witness the act of infidelity yourself. The tips mentioned above will only support your suspicions but they do not do anything towards getting some evidence or proof of your partner’s cheating ways. Do not get carried away by your suspicions. Evidence and proof will further cement a conclusion and not suspicions. Do not stain your relationship by putting down judgment based on an unproven suspicion.

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    Last Updated on March 30, 2020

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

    You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

    This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

    Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

    There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

    How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

    When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

    Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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    1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

    One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

    The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

    Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

    2. Be Honest

    A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

    If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

    On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

    Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

    3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

    Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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    If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

    4. Succeed at Something

    When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

    Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

    5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

    Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

    Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

    If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

    If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

    Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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    6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

    Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

    You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

    On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

    You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

    7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

    Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

    Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

    Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

    When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

    Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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    In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

    Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

    It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

    Final Thoughts

    When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

    The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

    Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

    Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

    Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

    More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

    Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
    [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
    [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
    [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
    [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
    [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
    [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
    [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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