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How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

A lot of relationships are haunted by the fact that their partners could be cheating on them. Some of them may purely rely on suspicions while some are simply paranoid. Some may trust their partners so much that they only leave the idea at the back of their heads and not entertain the situation. Even if we are in a very happy relationship, we must not deny that having a cheating partner is still a possibility. In case your suspicions start to grow then the following tips can be helpful for you. Here are a few tips on how to tell if someone is cheating on you.

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    Also, you might want to consider the following points:

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    1. Trust your instincts. If you have a history of being paranoid all the time or are dealing with a lot of insecurities then this advice isn’t for you. But in any other case, your suspicion will not just fall on your lap unless your partner shows signs or suggests being unfaithful on his/her part. Listen deep inside your heart and start looking for evidences to prove your suspicion.
    2. If you can tell that there is already an emotional distance between you two then it can be possible that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you. An emotional distance is when things are no longer the same as they used to be, when you both started dating. For example, if your husband always expects you to massage him before going to sleep or he asks you to cook him his favorite meal on Friday dinners but lately he no longer asks for it then that could be something suspicious.
    3. When your partner no longer has enough time for you despite not being promoted at work or no new avenues such as a new business or a new hobby then that could be another sign that he/she could be cheating on you. Keep in mind that when this relationship started, both of you were around each other all the time and changing that part means something has changed.
    4. When your partner no longer wants to experience a special moment in his life with you then that means something fishy. For example, if it is your couple’s dream to travel in Europe but when your partner finally got the chance to do so yet is not considering having you but instead travels with friends then that might mean that your growing suspicions are indeed true.
    5. If your partner ditches you or avoids spending time with you but instead lets you spend your free time with other people is another sign that he or she could be cheating on you. The rationalization of this scenario is that “if you can get to spend time with other people then it would be okay for me to hang around with other people as well”. It is a play-safe strategy to cover up for infidelity in case he or she gets caught hanging around with the person they’re is cheating with.
    6. People who are constantly checking on their phones or someone who panics whenever someone calls them or receive a text message when their partner is around is most likely cheating on their partner. If you have nothing to worry about then you should feel secure if your partner checks on your phone. You should never be afraid to let your partner scroll through your inbox or phonebook if you aren’t doing anything that could upset him or her.
    7. If he or she used to be a mushy person who used to constantly remind you of their love for you but all of a sudden stopped being cheesy with you anymore, it’ss also another sign of infidelity. Even if this could fall under the 2nd tip mentioned, it is specified because not all people have this aspect of their personality and this could make a partner easily detect cheating.
    8. Cheating can drain your partner’s emotional and physical energy because they spend a lot time dealing with fear of being caught and clearing evidences that can prove their infidelity. If you can notice that your partner is frequently tired and exhausted even if all he/she did is a regular day’s work then that could possibly be because he or she has been cheating on you.
    9. Knowing that your partner has been going out a lot lately and having fun with a new found friend that hasn’t been introduced to you yet is also another sign. Once that newfound friend has been confirmed to be someone of the opposite sex then it is time to keep a watchful eye on your partner.
    10. Another tip in order to tell if someone is cheating on you is when they turn the tables on you accusing you of infidelity even if you are doing nothing and are totally innocent. This is a defensive mechanism for a cheater so that the spotlight will be taken away from him or her and the focus will be on the partner. If that person will be very hysterical even with just a very small yet unreliable evidence for his or her suspicion then that could mean the other way around.

    Infidelity is one of the biggest reasons out there why relationships fail. However, if you are just relying on suspicion towards your partner, then you might as well get some evidence before you accuse him of cheating. Trust is a major factor in a relationship and if you mistakenly accused him or her of something that he or she didn’t commit, then that goes to show that you do not fully trust your partner, yet. Gather concrete evidence or witness the act of infidelity yourself. The tips mentioned above will only support your suspicions but they do not do anything towards getting some evidence or proof of your partner’s cheating ways. Do not get carried away by your suspicions. Evidence and proof will further cement a conclusion and not suspicions. Do not stain your relationship by putting down judgment based on an unproven suspicion.

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    Published on May 4, 2021

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

    In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

    How to Spot Fake People?

    When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

    Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

    1. Full of Themselves

    Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

    Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

    2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

    Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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    It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

    3. Zero Self-Reflection

    To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

    Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

    4. Unrealistic Perceptions

    Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

    A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

    5. Love Attention

    As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

    6. People Pleaser

    Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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    Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

    7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

    Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

    8. Crappy friend

    Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

    It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

    The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

    How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

    It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

    There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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    1. Boundaries

    Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

    2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

    Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

    3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

    If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

    4. Ask for Advice

    If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

    Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

    5. Dig Deeper

    Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

    Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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    6. Practice Self-Care!

    Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

    Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

    Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

    Final Thoughts

    Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

    More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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