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How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

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How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

A lot of relationships are haunted by the fact that their partners could be cheating on them. Some of them may purely rely on suspicions while some are simply paranoid. Some may trust their partners so much that they only leave the idea at the back of their heads and not entertain the situation. Even if we are in a very happy relationship, we must not deny that having a cheating partner is still a possibility. In case your suspicions start to grow then the following tips can be helpful for you. Here are a few tips on how to tell if someone is cheating on you.

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    Also, you might want to consider the following points:

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    1. Trust your instincts. If you have a history of being paranoid all the time or are dealing with a lot of insecurities then this advice isn’t for you. But in any other case, your suspicion will not just fall on your lap unless your partner shows signs or suggests being unfaithful on his/her part. Listen deep inside your heart and start looking for evidences to prove your suspicion.
    2. If you can tell that there is already an emotional distance between you two then it can be possible that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you. An emotional distance is when things are no longer the same as they used to be, when you both started dating. For example, if your husband always expects you to massage him before going to sleep or he asks you to cook him his favorite meal on Friday dinners but lately he no longer asks for it then that could be something suspicious.
    3. When your partner no longer has enough time for you despite not being promoted at work or no new avenues such as a new business or a new hobby then that could be another sign that he/she could be cheating on you. Keep in mind that when this relationship started, both of you were around each other all the time and changing that part means something has changed.
    4. When your partner no longer wants to experience a special moment in his life with you then that means something fishy. For example, if it is your couple’s dream to travel in Europe but when your partner finally got the chance to do so yet is not considering having you but instead travels with friends then that might mean that your growing suspicions are indeed true.
    5. If your partner ditches you or avoids spending time with you but instead lets you spend your free time with other people is another sign that he or she could be cheating on you. The rationalization of this scenario is that “if you can get to spend time with other people then it would be okay for me to hang around with other people as well”. It is a play-safe strategy to cover up for infidelity in case he or she gets caught hanging around with the person they’re is cheating with.
    6. People who are constantly checking on their phones or someone who panics whenever someone calls them or receive a text message when their partner is around is most likely cheating on their partner. If you have nothing to worry about then you should feel secure if your partner checks on your phone. You should never be afraid to let your partner scroll through your inbox or phonebook if you aren’t doing anything that could upset him or her.
    7. If he or she used to be a mushy person who used to constantly remind you of their love for you but all of a sudden stopped being cheesy with you anymore, it’ss also another sign of infidelity. Even if this could fall under the 2nd tip mentioned, it is specified because not all people have this aspect of their personality and this could make a partner easily detect cheating.
    8. Cheating can drain your partner’s emotional and physical energy because they spend a lot time dealing with fear of being caught and clearing evidences that can prove their infidelity. If you can notice that your partner is frequently tired and exhausted even if all he/she did is a regular day’s work then that could possibly be because he or she has been cheating on you.
    9. Knowing that your partner has been going out a lot lately and having fun with a new found friend that hasn’t been introduced to you yet is also another sign. Once that newfound friend has been confirmed to be someone of the opposite sex then it is time to keep a watchful eye on your partner.
    10. Another tip in order to tell if someone is cheating on you is when they turn the tables on you accusing you of infidelity even if you are doing nothing and are totally innocent. This is a defensive mechanism for a cheater so that the spotlight will be taken away from him or her and the focus will be on the partner. If that person will be very hysterical even with just a very small yet unreliable evidence for his or her suspicion then that could mean the other way around.

    Infidelity is one of the biggest reasons out there why relationships fail. However, if you are just relying on suspicion towards your partner, then you might as well get some evidence before you accuse him of cheating. Trust is a major factor in a relationship and if you mistakenly accused him or her of something that he or she didn’t commit, then that goes to show that you do not fully trust your partner, yet. Gather concrete evidence or witness the act of infidelity yourself. The tips mentioned above will only support your suspicions but they do not do anything towards getting some evidence or proof of your partner’s cheating ways. Do not get carried away by your suspicions. Evidence and proof will further cement a conclusion and not suspicions. Do not stain your relationship by putting down judgment based on an unproven suspicion.

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    Last Updated on July 20, 2021

    How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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    How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

    You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

    Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

    Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

    Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

    1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

    According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

    “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

    Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

    Warming up

    If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

    If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

    Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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    1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
    2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
    3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

    Stay hydrated

    Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

    To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

    Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

    Meditate

    Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

    Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

    Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

    Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

    2. Focus on your goal

    One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

    Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

    Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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    Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

    If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

    3. Convert negativity to positivity

    There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

    ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

    It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

    Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

    Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

    Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

    4. Understand your content

    Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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    However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

    “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

    Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

    Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

    One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

    5. Practice makes perfect

    Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

    In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

    Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

    6. Be authentic

    There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

    Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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    Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

    To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

    With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

    Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

    7. Post speech evaluation

    Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

    Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

    We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

    You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

    Improve your next speech

    As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

    Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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    • How did I do?
    • Are there any areas for improvement?
    • Did I sound or look stressed?
    • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
    • Was I saying “um” too often?
    • How was the flow of the speech?

    Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

    If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

    Reference

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