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Only Couples Who Are Always Asked About Babies Can Relate To These 10 Things

Only Couples Who Are Always Asked About Babies Can Relate To These 10 Things

You’re at a point in your life when everyone is wondering about when you are going to have a baby. The hints about having kids are casually dropped into conversations here and there by friends and family, but you’re not ready.

Here are 10 things you will definitely relate to if you’re part of a couple that is always asked when they are going to have kids:

1.You and your partner have several lines memorized in case a response is needed for the question.

This is typically a short phrase or a sarcastic remark that has become almost second nature in response to the question, “When can we expect a baby [insert your last name here]?”. You have been asked so many times you don’t even think about it too deeply anymore or go into depth with your response.

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2.You walk around and see a handful of children that are well behaved and you change your mind… only for a bit.

You usually start to think that maybe having kids won’t be such a bad idea eventually when you meet a polite child or when a friend brings their wonderful children over. You begin to daydream about having kids and think of what their names would be while you shop for your pet. You are almost convinced and then you come across a complete brat at work, or in the grocery store, and it sends you into a downward spiral of doubting your previous thoughts.

3.You are afraid that what your mom warned you about will come true

If you had a mother like mine, she told you that if you were bad that your future kids would be seven times worse. Let’s be honest, you know that she only knows about half of the things you’ve done.

4.You are selfish and are okay with that.

There are so many things that you feel like you still need to do! You don’t know what they are yet, but you need to do them!

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5.You are tired of people telling you it’s not so bad.

You know it’s not a bad thing and understand that having children is a different kind of love- you’ve been told about it over and over. You often want to say, “okay, I get it! It isn’t bad but I am not changing my mind yet!”

6.You understand that the “clock is ticking” and you don’t care.

Yes, the clock may be “ticking” but that isn’t enough of a reason for you, and you wish people would just stop bringing up your age.

7.You constantly have people asking you why you don’t like kids.

You are tired of people assuming that you don’t like kids. You like kids- the well behaved ones- and you eventually hope to bring up a well behaved one yourself.

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8.You are always hearing your parents talk about babies.

Your parents are starting to ask for grandbabies as you walk through Target and pass the baby section. They start to drop hints when your friends with babies post pictures on Facebook; all you do is nod your head because you know it will just open up a can of worms if you start a conversation about it.

9.You get tired of hearing that having a dog is nothing compared to having kids.

You feel like people think you’re dense. Yes, you completely understand that a dog is not a human child. It’s your child though: you feed it, give it water, buy it toys and pick up the mess it makes.

10.You feel like you get punished at work with late shifts because you don’t have kids.

Anytime overtime is offered at work, you’re the first one looked at to volunteer because you don’t have kids. It sucks and there is nothing you can say to not make you look like a jerk.

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Featured photo credit: loving couple bis LM 1001363/Michel via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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