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15 Struggles A Girl Who Speaks Too Much Knows Too Well

15 Struggles A Girl Who Speaks Too Much Knows Too Well

Do you struggle to hold your tongue? Me too. For some of us, it is nearly impossible to not say exactly what we think, whenever we think it. It can result in some pretty awkward situations. However, there are also some sweet advantages.

Check out these 15 struggles a girl who speaks too much knows too well.

1. You Are Known For Being A Loud Mouth

Before anything else, you are known for being a loud mouth. You’re never sure if this is a good thing. At least it’s better than being mean, but it isn’t as good as being kind.

2. You Order Drinks For The Group

You’re always the one at the bar ordering the drinks because your friends take way too long. You are the only one who is willing to push through the crowds and get the attention of the bar staff.

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3. You Are The One Friends Go To When They Want The Truth

In your group, if someone needs the cold, hard truth, they go straight to you. To you, this is a great compliment because it means everyone in the group trusts you to tell it exactly how it is.

4. You Are Someone Friends Can Say Whatever They Want To

Your friends tend to get louder and more vulgar when they are around you – probably  because you say whatever you want to them. Bring on the sexual innuendos!

5. You Reveal Everything Straight Away

You are very experienced in talking without thinking, so you always end up telling people about your life. Most of the time, you don’t even notice you’re doing it.

6. You Know All Of Your Friends Are Real Friends

Not many people can tolerate non-stop and sometimes cruel honesty, but your group of friends can. You really appreciate having friends who love you for exactly who you are. In return, you try to be the best friend you can possibly be.

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7. You Don’t Like To Lie

You don’t see the point in lying. Being deceitful often becomes complicated. Besides, the truth is always the best option. You would rather be honest and deal with the consequences now than lie and deal with them later.

8. You Don’t Understand The Point Of Biting Your Tongue

You believe that if someone has something to say, they should just say it. You can’t comprehend why people bite their tongue. The concept is just weird to you.

9. You Give Your Friends Tough Love

You give your friends tough love because you care about them and you don’t want them to make mistakes. You would never lie to your friends, even when the truth is difficult to say.

10. You Are Trustworthy

You may not have a filter, but you understand the importance of keeping secrets. Your best friends are always letting you in on their secrets, and you would never betray their trust.

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11. You Always Over-share

You always over-share. Luckily, most of your friends think it is hilarious. This is mainly awesome because everyone else you know tells you to shut up.

12. You Sometimes Confuse People With Honesty

People are never sure if they find your honesty refreshing or offensive to start off with. However, by the end of the conversation, they are normally laughing.

13. You’re Happy To Ask For Better Service

You don’t understand the point of paying for something and then settling for less. If you go out for a meal or drinks and the order is wrong, you always tell them to change it. After all, why wouldn’t you?

14. You Are Someone People Hate Embarrassing Themselves Around

If someone embarrasses themselves, you think it is the funniest thing ever. You will ring up your other friends to tell them about it. If you could, you would even take a picture. They will never live it down, so people hate to embarrass themselves in front of you.

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15. You Always Have An Opinion On Your Friend’s Partners

If your friends want an honest opinion of their date, they come to you. They always patiently listen to your opinions – and then they go and do whatever they want. But you still love them anyways.

What did you think of this list? Do you know someone who speaks too much?

Share this list with your loudest friends to see what they think! I’m sure they’ll have something to say.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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