Advertising
Advertising

Relationships Aren’t Only About Romance, It Requires Efforts

Relationships Aren’t Only About Romance, It Requires Efforts

No matter your age, love is always an enigma.

In a culture that idolizes long-term relationships, our individualized concept of love is a mucked up regurgitation of “always a happy ending” false promises we see in Hollywood combined with what we see from the relationships of our parents, aunts, and close family friends. We then build up this dramatized ideal as to how our relationships will be “better”, or “stronger”, or “a purer form of love” based on what we’ve seen and experienced.

We don’t really know what love is, or how to measure it, or what signs to look for to know we’ve attained it aside from what we’ve been told. All of these characteristics of love are all self-determined by what was explained above. Our concept of love is like a snowflake; no two conceptions are ever the same. So, for starters, it’s best to understand that love and relationships are amazing but can ultimately be doomed from the start if you try to cram your feelings and opinions of someone else into a box that was basically made for you.

Advertising

A lot of incredible things happen when you share your life with someone else. There’s the initial joy of finding common interests and establishing intimacy, also known as the honeymoon stage. You gain confidence and trust in that person over time, sharing moments along the timeline of both your lives that will be cherished forever. You now have someone to explore with, laugh with, and someone to snuggle with on Sunday when you’re really hungover and “can’t even”.

Aside from the many positives relationships bring, we’re not really warned about the hardships of relationships, and that’s not surprising. In the current era of social media people rarely share their dirty laundry, especially when it has to do with that special someone. We’re not encouraged to openly discuss and share the horrific things that happen between two lovers.

Relationships are great, but they’re also like a full time job. Even if you love it there are going to be days where you want to walk out and quit, wonder if there’s “something better out there”, or maybe even start looking at other jobs online in your spare time.

Advertising

There will be times when you question everything. EVERYTHING. But there really isn’t an aspect of life that doesn’t invite crippling indecision at times. Friendships, hobbies, pets; everything and anything can bring up the paralyzing fear of “is there something better?” or “am I doing this right?” Even if everything appears to be going great in your relationship, you can always dig and pry and find something to complain about or question. Know that these feelings of uncertainty are going to happen to both parties, and it’s a completely common experience.

Sometimes fighting will be easier than getting along, and being mad is easier than being the bigger person. Conflict is inevitable and those who avoid it only make the problem worse by running from it. You can’t outrun personal problems or relationship problems. There will be aspects of your partner that may annoy or bother you, but who’s perfect?

If you don’t learn to find perfection in your partner’s imperfections, the relationship won’t last. Besides, would you rather cram someone into your mental box of a “perfect partner” or let them be their true selves, flaws and all? How you answer that determines two things: how selfish you are as a partner and how badly you want a relationship to work at any cost.

Advertising

You’ll hurt alone and you’ll hurt together in a relationship. Unfortunately, you’ll also hurt each other from time to time. Don’t let your mind jump to extremes of infidelity or bold faced lies, but things happen.

Sometimes life throws you a knuckle ball you weren’t expecting when you step into the batters box of love. Hurt feelings will happen both unintentionally and, yes, sometimes intentionally. Most of us never fathom saying something hurtful to the person we love, but sometimes we say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. Pain is an unfortunate byproduct of love. At times, you’ll hurt separately and look to the other for support. Other times the pain will be shared. No matter how it’s experienced, the bond will grow stronger if you have the ability to endure it together. It is in enduring pain that a deeper, more appreciative love is formed.

Loving another person is never easy, but it’s always worth it. There are still many challenging points of relationships that I haven’t touched on here such as raising children, loved ones dying, and traveling together. But be choosey with whom you decide to love, and whom you give your love to. In the end, the aspects of relationships that bring the most pain are often the ones that lead to the most growth, allowing us to harbor a meaningful, worthwhile, everlasting relationship.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Barrett_Asia_Engagement_06 / Ryan Polei via albumarium.com

More by this author

These 20 Regrets From People On Their Deathbeds Will Change Your Life This Short Animation Reveals A Brutal Truth About Life That Everyone Should Watch What You Need to Remember to Deal With Loss in Life Opposites Attracts: Couples with Different Characters Work Well There’s A Lot To Reflect On The Way We Date Today

Trending in Communication

1 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People 2 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 3 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence 4 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear 5 The Lifehack Show Episode 3: Why Validation is Key to Lasting Relationships

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

Advertising

4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

Advertising

9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

Advertising

15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

Advertising

20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

More About Happiness

Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

Read Next