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Why Hopeless Romantics Are Actually The Most Hopeful Ones In Love

Why Hopeless Romantics Are Actually The Most Hopeful Ones In Love

Often labelled as foolish, irrational, indecisive and unrealistic, the hopeless romantic is often thought of as the hapless romantic; the ill-fated lover wearing rose colored glasses, and constantly burdened by that crazy thing called love.

But behind all those rather unfair descriptions lies a solid and steadfast heart of gold; one of strength, that refuses to allow the ills of the world to taint their hopes. They may be romantics, dreamers and idealists, but they are far from hopeless. Instead, their true identity lies within the ‘hope-full’.

So here are 10 examples why these guardians of love should be treasured!

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They hope for the best.

True optimistics, they are a glass-half-full bunch, who rather than becoming cynical after heartbreak, choose to believe everything happens for a reason, or a season. Sure it probably hurts like nothing else, and they deal with that hurt accordingly, but once they’ve gotten over the pain, they get right back up, as hopeful and as positive as ever.

They are determined.

There’s nothing like the belief they have in love that spurs them on. To most, love is just a romanticized notion, but to the hopeless romantic, love represents so much more. The determination they have to acquire love results in a strong willed personality, that helps them fight through the day-to-day, hoping for something great and wonderful. This means they don’t buckle at the first hurdle, persevere and put their whole being into making things work. These guys are in it for the long-haul.

They are problem solvers.

In a relationship, they want to make it all better. They wish they can take your pain away, and will do the utmost to make sure you don’t suffer. As a friend, the hopeless romantic is your go-to for advice (and hugs!) Their ability to find solutions where others cannot is extremely impressive and makes the hopeless romantic, as a partner and friend, the person everyone should have in their corner.

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They know when to give you space.

They understand all too well the matters of the heart, and appreciate all aspects of love, especially those that require the need for alone time to mend. They’re not into pressuring you or trying to hurry the process of recovery, or forgiveness. Instead, they allow time, and love, to do their work, knowing that soon your heart will mend and you’ll be ready to fight again.

They offer a different perspective.

As a friend, they’ll suggest you see things from the other persons point of view, asking you to be totally honest with yourself, which in turn does wonders in helping you to move on from heartbreak. As a partner, they’ll encourage you to speak your mind while they try to see things from your side. This balanced approach not only makes for darn good therapy, but also aids healing.

They know what they’re looking for.

Being hopeful allows them to tap into that side of themselves that refuses to settle for less than what they deserve. They are extremely decisive about what they want, but most importantly, what they don’t want. They are assured in their quest for the real thing, and refuse to waste time with a ‘maybe’. They’ll hold true to their desires if it means they get to live out life with their soul mate. Settling is not an option.

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They’ll fight when you can’t.

As a friend, they understand why you may want to opt out of the whole love thing, or why you’ve put up that protective layer (read: wall!) to keep out people from trampling all over your heart again, but they are also aware that wall may also be keeping out your soul mate. So they work with you, side by side, day and night to create a little side door that only true love is allowed to pass through. And while you recuperate, they”ll stand guard against the baddies who may be trying to scale the wall. You’ve been warned!

They are not superficial.

Contrary to popular belief, they are not shallow. In fact, their need for real love, rather than flings, puts them in an ideal position to look beyond the surface of a potential mate and see the beauty that lies beneath. This ability also holds them well when it comes to determining whether of not the potential love is indeed right for them. Being able to distinguish and decipher the reality from the fiction is what allows them to seek out that true love, where others may be confused by it all. Beyond the cosmetic, they can delve deep enough to discover the real person.

They’re honest about who they are and what they want.

They don’t feel they have to hide their true feelings from you. They see no problem in vulnerability – it’s their strength, and they respect themselves enough to not have to lie about what they truly want from a relationship. There’s no pretending they’re okay with just hooking up when what they really want is an exclusive relationship, or pretending they’re cool with just living together when they really want to get married.

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They don’t hold back.

They’ll tell you they love you, and mean it. They’ll treat you like the precious gift you are, and you won’t have to ask. They’ll dote on you. There’s no end to how special they want to make you feel. With them, you’ll feel totally and completely loved and adored. When they are with you, they are with you.

The best part: it’s all genuine with this not so hopeless romantic. What else could be better!

Featured photo credit: Man with a Bouquet of Roses/Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Patricia C. Osei-Oppong

Writer, Poet, Marketer

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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