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15 Common Remarks About Women That Are Actually Problematic

15 Common Remarks About Women That Are Actually Problematic

Sexism is prevalent throughout our society, and it is difficult to argue against this fact when you consider that many people still claim that women who dress a certain way are “asking for it.” This type of overt sexism is very obvious, but there are numerous other commonly stated phrases that are often said by people who truly believe that their stereotypical view of women is not problematic. Each of the following remarks help highlight the many forms of sexism that women face on a daily basis, and they also help explain why we definitely still need feminism.

1. Women Are Bad Drivers

It is almost as easy to find a joke about women being bad drivers as it is to locate a McDonald’s. The problem with these jokes is that they are not only insensitive but are also extremely inaccurate. According to Insurance Panda, female drivers are actually much more responsible and have a lower risk of getting into an accident. Women are also 10 percent less likely to get a moving violation, and their DUI rate is a whopping 50 percent less than men.

The next time someone starts spouting off with the sexist nonsense that women are bad drivers make sure that you are armed with these statistics. You may or may not change their mind, but at least you will have proof that being a woman does not mean that you are an inherently bad driver.

2. The Wage Gap Doesn’t Exist

No matter how much evidence is published that proves there is a wage gap in the U.S., there are still naysayers who insist that the entire thing is a myth. One of the most disheartening things about this particular common phrase is that there are actually some women who have bought into it. Yes, there are some companies that pay all of their employees fairly. Additionally, some fields do tend to pay women higher wages than their male colleagues. Overall, though, women are paid an average of .78 for every dollar that their comparable male co-workers make.

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Being armed with this knowledge will make it easier to fight against ignorant comments regarding the wage gap. But beware; most people who argue against this point online do not appear to have any interest in learning the truth. Apparently, admitting that there is a wage gap would also force them to acknowledge that there is a need for feminism, and this is just too real for some people.

3. Women Who Have One-Night Stands Are Immoral

Men are given a free pass when it comes to sex, but women who have one-night stands or sleep with several people are branded as immoral or, even worse, slutty. The reality is that all humans are sexual beings, and there should not be any type of line drawn in the sand regarding who can enjoy sex. Sadly, shaming women about their sex lives can lead to unhappiness. In fact, statistics indicate that women average 50 percent fewer sexual partners than men. Instead of giving into this form of societal pressure, women can and should hold their heads up high and have just as much, or as little, sex as they choose.

4. Women Are Happiest When They Have Children

Many women choose to have children, but let’s face it: being a mother can be a thankless job, and it is not right for everyone. The U.S. birth rate is also falling, and 47.6 percent of women between the ages of 15 and 44 did not have a child in 2014. The erroneous idea that women need a child to be happy is untrue and very sexist. After all, people do not equate a man’s happiness with whether or not he has children. Whether you choose to become a parent or to remain childless, your happiness is not defined by your ability to give birth.

5. Housework is a Woman’s Job

More than 80 percent of married women have a job, and many of them are balancing full-time work with their family obligations. Although the dynamic of the American family has drastically changed during the past few decades, many people still believe that housework is only a woman’s job.  Everyone who uses dishes or wears clothes has the ability to wash them, and households with two working partners need to share the workload more evenly.

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6. Women Who Don’t Respond Positively to Catcalling Are Stuck Up

Women are faced with a dilemma on a regular basis: pretend they are okay with being catcalled or potentially become the target of a stream of obscenities. For whatever reason, many men believe that women enjoy being catcalled. Some of them even believe that a woman who does not respond in a positive way must be stuck up or rude. It is reality check time, guys: women are simply walking to their destination, and they do not want to be whistled at.

7. Women Are “Too Pretty to Be Smart”

Attractive women are often told that they are “too pretty to be smart.” On the flip side, women who are not viewed as conventionally attractive due to society’s flawed beauty standards are often told horrible things such as “at least you are smarter than pretty girls.” Any person who repeats these stereotypes is obviously unaware that it is ridiculous to equate intelligence with a person’s physical appearance. The next time this happens, be prepared to prove just how wrong the negative assertion is by displaying your high IQ through a witty comeback.

8. Women Who Get Promoted Are Sleeping Their Way to the Top

Whether it is jealousy or the false belief that women are not as smart as their male coworkers, it is all too prevalent for people to claim that successful businesswomen are sleeping their way to the top. Meanwhile, the same type of comments are almost never made about men. Women are actually 2.9 percent less likely to get promoted than men, and this clearly would not be the case if sexual favors were being exchanged.

If you are accused of sleeping your way to the top, you can silence your detractors by showcasing your strong business skills. Alternatively, let the HR department know about the comments, and they can show people how harmful it is to their career to make sexist remarks in the workplace.

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9. Women Are Overly Emotional and Irrational

Anytime a woman displays her emotions, she is at risk of being labeled as irrational, overly emotional or PMSing. In reality, there is less than a 3 percent gap between the genders and their probability of suffering from depression. Men are also four times more likely to commit suicide, which makes it clear that both genders are susceptible to emotions and mental illness. Keep in mind that men usually label someone as irrational when they do not like the woman’s words or actions. By refusing to retort to these comments in a negative way, you can defuse their perceived ammunition against you.

10. Women Aren’t As Strong as Men

There are physical differences between the genders, but it is preposterous to base the definition of strength merely around a person’s physicality. When a man claims he is stronger than a woman, he is basically attempting to assert a dominant position. Meanwhile, the woman may be stronger emotionally, more able to tolerate physical pain or simply more skilled at completing important tasks. Regularly showcasing your strengths can help prove that muscles are not the only way to be strong, nor are they the only thing that should matter.

11. Women Are Bad at Sports

There always seems to be at least one guy in every crowd who stubbornly holds on to the belief that women are bad at sports. The next time someone says that you throw or kick like a girl, tell them that it is a compliment to be compared to women such as Mo’ne Davis and the U.S. Women’s Soccer team. After all, Davis dominated the 2014 Little League World Series, and the Women’s Soccer Team won the World Cup. Women have also been clocked throwing a softball or baseball above 80 MPH, and some experts believe it is only a matter of time until a Major League Baseball team signs a female pitcher.

12. Women Belong in the Kitchen

Phrases such as “get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” can be said in jest, but there are also many people who believe that it is perfectly acceptable to say this to a woman. This particular common but problematic remark goes beyond the housework category and falls into a strange area where some men seem to honestly believe they should not have to cook in the kitchen. Oddly, many men also claim the grill as their territory and believe that guys are the best chefs. One way to break this sexism down in your relationship is by showing your grill prowess and making it clear that you will not cook every meal.

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13. It is Obvious Who Wears the Pants in That Relationship

This phrase is sexist on two levels because it seeks to demean both women and men. Not only are people who make comments such as “who wears the pants in your relationship” implying that men should be in charge but they are also completely ignoring the fact that women actually wear real pants on a regular basis. It is no longer 1952, and women are free to wear whatever they would like. Additionally, there is no shame in sharing relationship roles, nor should anyone be content to let another person make all of their decisions for them.

14. “Let the Men Do the Work”

Also known as “men are working here,” this dismissive phrase is often aimed at women by men who have a superiority complex. Phrases of this nature are very demeaning because they strongly imply that only men are capable of actually getting the job done. Any man who dismisses a woman in this manner is clearly being sexist, and it is not a bad idea to call them out on this type of behavior. If you are in a situation where you cannot safely correct the men in question, you can make a point by completing your portion of the project in an accurate and efficient manner. Bonus points if you turn it into the perpetrator while saying, “Oh, are the men still working? The woman is already done.”

15. Inappropriate Terms of Endearment

Does a guy at your office insist on calling women sweetheart while referring to his male coworkers by their first name? This creates a work space where men are taken more seriously and receive more respect. To help curb this problem, you can first try saying “thank you, [insert coworker’s name]. My name is…” If this does not work, you could always flip the script by addressing every man at work with a common term that is not their name. This can help call attention to how inappropriate it is to use terms of endearment at work, whether they are used condescendingly or genuinely.

The world needs feminism for many reasons, including all of the previously mentioned sexist remarks. Although some people insist on twisting the message of feminism and acting like it is a four-letter word, feminists throughout history have done very important work such as helping women earn the right to vote. Women and men can help change the world for the better by embracing feminist ideas and treating each other with more respect.

Featured photo credit: Image by Bailey Weaver, via Flickr via flic.kr

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Holly Chavez

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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