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This Is What Will Happen To You When You Do Meditation

This Is What Will Happen To You When You Do Meditation

The practice of sitting by yourself in total silence, legs crossed, eyes shut, palms facing upward, reflecting and being fully aware and in sync with yourself and your surroundings may not sound so appealing to some people. In fact, it might seem pretty painful, boring and useless. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Meditation, like everything else worth doing, can be uncomfortable at first. But, it gets easier with practice. By cultivating this one small habit of doing meditation daily, you’ll experiencing tremendous benefits.

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1. You’ll gain inner peace and knowledge of self

In our ever busy and fast paced modern lifestyles, nothing beats getting some quiet moments – slowing down and just being in the present moment. Meditation is about turning off the frenzy and chatter that creates stress and anxiety in our lives. It’s about breathing, reflecting and letting go. By meditating on a daily basis you’ll clear your mind, expel the negative vibe, improve your mood, relax and ultimately experience deeper inner peace. You’ll be less bothered by little things because through meditation you gain a better understanding of your inner self and life’s purpose.

2. You’ll be happier and more productive.

Let nobody fool you that accumulating all the external goodies in the world like cars, mansions and yachts will make you truly happy. Happiness comes from the inside out.  Meditation enables you to reach inside and center yourself on what truly matters—what truly makes you happy. And when you know yourself and what makes you tick, everything is clear. You can pursue the things that truly matter and be truly happy. The mansions and yacht, if they come, only enhance your deep inner peace and joy.

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3. You’ll be more loving and caring

Meditation interventions like Loving Kindness (Metta) Meditation generate and project loving and positive feelings and energy into the universe. That means you’ll be sending more love, understanding and compassion to everyone around you, including family, friends, yourself and even strangers. Even a brief meditation session is good for you because it makes people 50% more compassionate, according to a study by Northeastern University College of Science. The best thing about it all is that our energy and actions are like boomerangs. If you show a little more love and care, you’ll get a little more love and care also. A win-win situation for everyone.

4. You’ll be more confident and self-assured

There’s something about meditation that just makes you more confident. While I may not have empirical evidence to support this, you can bet that you’ll be more confident and assured as a result of doing meditation daily. After all, you’ll know yourself better and what makes you tick. You’ll see the world in a positive light and consequently see yourself in a positive way too. You’ll discover that there is a place in this world where you fit, just as you are. That’ll make you love yourself just for being you. Ultimately, you’ll not feel the need to pretend to be what you think others want you to be. You’ll just be yourself. Oh, it’s such a wonderful feeling to be your true self.

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5. You’ll be smarter and more focused

Practicing as little as one 15-minute focused breathing meditation can get you out of your head, de-bias your brain and help you think more clearly. That was found to be true by an eye-opening UCLA study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. The 2012 study showed that long-term meditators have larger amounts of gyrification, or folding of the brain’s cortex, than people who don’t meditate. The extra folds may allow the meditators to process information faster, be more focused and avoid dwelling too much on past events. That’s great news for meditators.

6. You’ll be more resilient to stress, pain and setbacks

When things don’t go your way (and they will not go your way sometimes because that’s the nature of life), you’ll be more adept to handling the pain and hurt of the situation. That’s because meditation improves people’s moods, perspectives and attitudes. You feel you can actually get through any challenge that comes your way when you do meditation. Even when it comes to physical pain, studies show just 80 minutes of mindful meditation can cut pain perception nearly in half compared with non-meditators.

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7. You’ll be more creative and attractive

The two main factors that determine levels of creativity are: divergent thinking (coming up with lots of ideas) and convergent thinking (solidifying those ideas into one brilliant concept.) Researchers at Leiden University led by Cognitive psychologist Lorenza Colzato studied the effects of two different types of meditation practices on divergent and convergent thinking. They concluded that meditation significantly improves both divergent and convergent thinking. And we all know smart, creative people are the most attractive people you can meet. You’ll be both smart and incredibly attractive by doing meditation.

8. You’ll have enhanced sexual experiences

Researchers have found that one of the biggest impediments to women enjoying the full sexual experience is self-judgmental chatter that often fills a woman’s mind during sex. Meditation training – where a person learns how to bring thoughts into the present moment – can enhance a woman’s sexual experience by quieting the chatter. Men’s sexual experience obviously also benefits as a result. Interestingly, college women who do meditation are quicker to become aroused when viewing erotic photos compared with non-meditating women.

9. You’ll slow the progression of age-related cognitive disorders

A pilot study led by researchers at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center suggests that the positive brain changes associated with meditation like stress reduction and anxiety alleviation may be the answer for slowing the progression of age-related cognitive disorders like Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia. What’s even more revealing is that patients who took part in mindfulness-based meditation reported higher levels of well-being, which incidentally also helps with improved cognitive function.

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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