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What People With Anxiety Want Their Loved Ones To Say

What People With Anxiety Want Their Loved Ones To Say

People who suffer with anxiety are having a constant battle because, for them, anxiety is one of those things that is ever present. We have our good days and we have our bad days. When we have those bad days, we look for comfort from those who are closest to us.

Here are some of the things we want the people we love to say to us when we feel anxious:

1. If you can go, that’s great- but if you can’t, that’s okay too.

We don’t like feeling forced into anything. It makes the anxiety worse. We like having the option to back out if we don’t feel right, which helps us to feel less trapped. It calms us down knowing that we can choose whether or not we want to do something.

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2. Take your time.

Our biggest fear is that we are wasting your time. We constantly feel like we are inconveniencing everyone around us by feeling the way we do. When you let us know that time is not an issue, we find it easier to calm down as we don’t have that added worry.

3. We are proud of you for doing this.

Certain things that may seem simple can require a lot of thought and energy for us to accomplish. When we do things that may seem insignificant to you, it might be a big deal for us. We like to hear that you are proud of us when we try our best to do things that we find challenging. It lets us know that you understand how difficult it was for us to persevere.

4. I understand it’s something that you can’t control.

The worst thing we can hear is someone telling us to control ourselves and get over it. We want people around us to acknowledge that we cannot control the anxiety when it shows up, or how intense it gets. It makes us feel at ease knowing that you understand.

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5. I know that you are trying.

We like knowing that you understand that we are trying. Sometimes we feel like people think that we are lazy or we aren’t trying. It’s nice to know that people really understand that we are persevering, despite it not being easy for us.

6. What can I do to make you feel better?

When we start feeling anxious, it helps if you ask us what you can do to help. Most of the time we just have to sit there and wait for the anxiety to pass or go get some fresh air. We appreciate it when you ask because it makes us feel like you care about what we are going through.

7. You’re fine, everything’s fine.

We like to be reassured that everything around us isn’t falling apart. When our anxiety comes along, we can’t always pinpoint why it showed up. Sometimes we like being reminded that nothing terrible is going on.

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8. Let’s go get some fresh air.

This is the best thing that you can say to us when we are anxious. Nothing helps anxiety more than being in an open area with fresh air. We are able to feel less trapped and we are given space to sort through our emotions.

9. You’re not bothering us at all.

This ties into how we feel like we are wasting people’s time. We hate feeling like a burden when we are out with friends and family. It reassures us when you tell us that we aren’t troubling you when we start to feel anxious.

10. Let’s sort through this together.

Sometimes it feels good to talk through it. It feels reassuring when you sit with us and talk through what is worrying us, potentially allowing us to figure out what prompted the anxiety to intensify.This can help to reduce our feelings of fear, apprehension, and panic. It also feels great to let it all out with someone you love.

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Featured photo credit: eflon via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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