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10 Signs That You’re Dating An Emotional Psychopath

10 Signs That You’re Dating An Emotional Psychopath

While everyone can relate to a bad dating experience, not everyone understands what it’s like to date someone who is emotionally unstable and abusive. As a result, your friends may try to reassure you that everything is okay and that it will all work out in the end. Well, it’s time for a wake-up call!

If your significant other exhibits some of the following 10 signs, it’s fair to come to the conclusion that you’re dating an emotional psychopath.

1. They Lack Empathy

Does your partner not seem to have any emotions whatsoever? They don’t have to be overly emotional, but there should certainly be signs of sympathy and empathy. If you’ve gone through issues in your relationship and there’s never been any display of compassion or vulnerability, something’s wrong.

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2. They Lie All the Time

Does your partner show signs of being a habitual liar? They don’t even have to be major fibs – little white lies are the same. Emotional psychopaths have a tendency to lie about everything, which provides an unstable foundation for a relationship.

3. They Humiliate You in Front of People

Your significant other is supposed to support and encourage you. If they are always humiliating you in front of other people, it means they don’t care about your feelings and would rather tear you down than build you up.

4. They Crave Attention but Don’t Give Any

An emotional psychopath thrives on attention. However, the ironic thing is that they rarely give attention in return. They want you to tend to their needs, but you’ll be hard-pressed to see them do the same. This unhealthy cycle leads to a one-sided relationship.

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5. They Always Place the Blame on You

The blame-game is all too familiar with emotional psychopaths. They never take responsibility for their actions and always expect someone else to take the fall. Sound familiar?

6. They Isolate You

Because emotional psychopaths crave attention, they want to make sure you don’t give any to anyone else. They do this by isolating you from your friends and family members. They’ll discourage you from leaving the house and may even try to convince you that you don’t need other people – because you have all you could ever need in them.

7. They Blackmail You

If you ever do something that your partner doesn’t like, they’ll rarely confront you in a gentle or compassionate way. Instead, they’ll become enraged and may even blackmail you. In serious cases, emotional psychopaths may threaten to physically harm themselves.

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8. They Never Show Remorse

Despite all of the bad things they do – and the frequency with which they hurt you – emotional psychopaths rarely show remorse. The words “I’m sorry” aren’t in their vocabulary, no matter the situation. In fact, they’re more likely to try and convince you that the problems in your relationship are your fault.

9. They Have a Sadistic Sense of Humor

Everyone has a different sense of humor, but emotional psychopaths are on their own level. They find humor in things that most people find unlawful or disgusting. While it may only seem strange at first, it evolves over time and becomes creepy and disturbing.

10. They are Extremely Charming at Times

Ironically enough, despite all of the negative behaviors they exhibit, emotional psychopaths are often extremely charismatic and charming. This is a big part of the issue. Just when you’ve had enough, they turn on their charm and convince you that everything’s going to be alright. It’s during these times that you have to remember the rest of the story.

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It’s Time to Move On

Do any of these 10 signs sound familiar? If so, stand up for yourself and end the relationship. The sooner you do so, the better off you’ll be.

Featured photo credit: markus spiske via imcreator.com

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Anna Johansson

Anna is a freelance writer, researcher, and business consultant.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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