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8 Things to Remember If You Love Someone With Chronic Pain

8 Things to Remember If You Love Someone With Chronic Pain

Chronic pain is a condition that we all cringe when we hear, right? Imagine being a person that suffers from pain for more than 3 months. We also know there are many conditions which cause chronic pain such as back problems, arthritis, migraines and so on. It’s sad but not much more is said about how prevalent this condition may be. Unfortunately, it’s extremely common. Over 25 million people suffer from chronic pain in the US but a discussion of their problems goes under the radar. Chronic pain is not just physical – it’s an emotional journey. If you love someone that suffers from chronic pain, you will likely have to accommodate their situation as necessary.

Beyond the physical sensation of pain, here are 8 reasons why they suffer more than you think.

1. Chronic pain is invisible

Roughly 96% of illnesses are invisible meaning they do not have any external signals that point towards it such as a walking stick or wheelchair. After dealing with it for so long, they no longer grimace or cry every time they’re in pain.  It’s possible they look perfectly fine despite being in pain.

It’s easy for it to be ignored as a disability simply because it’s unseen. Therefore their problems can be subject to statements such as “just fight through it” which are dismissive. Chronic pain isn’t the same as the common cold or even a broken leg.

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2. It leads to depression

25% to 75% of chronic pain sufferers experience moderate to severe depression. This, in addition to being in frequent pain means it’s very easy to withdraw and stop engaging in day to day activities. It strains relationships with friends and family which in turn decreases their quality of life further. It is a vicious cycle that even affects how effective pain treatment is.

As Rachel Benner says, “it’s important for them to incorporate structure, activities, socialization, purpose and meaning into each day of their lives.”

3. They don’t know how it started

It’s possible to have pain without a clear origin or an injury that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Having a reason for an injury is helpful – you can be more careful next time. More importantly, it provides closure. Without a reason, prolonged pain becomes becomes completely meaningless and feels like terrible bad luck.

Bad luck should be missing the bus to work. Not years of pain.

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Suffering without meaning creates questions that demand answers. However, those answers either don’t exist or require a very long time to discover. Both possibilities have adverse effects on their mood.

4. They don’t know if it’ll end

Especially if the person is young, this causes incredible amounts of despair. They start to wonder whether they can handle being in pain every day for the next 10, 20, or 30 years.

Here’s the kicker – it is possible there’s no end. It’s possible they could have to suffer from pain for the rest of their lives and this becomes more real to them the longer it persists.

5. They blame themselves

There’s an expectation to have gotten used to the pain after a while the same way one might get used to a walking stick. It’s easy to self-criticize for not being able to do certain things you used to like stay out with friends or complete work on time. Sometimes, they’ll want to fight the pain and if they fail, they’ll blame themselves for not working hard enough. This can lead to self-loathing and feelings of guilt because they cannot live life at the same pace as their friends and family.

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Living exactly the same life as your peers is unrealistic when you suffer from chronic pain. The expectation to do so creates a burden they blame themselves for.

6. They aren’t making a mountain of a molehill

People often underestimate chronic pain. In combination with chronic pain being an invisible illness, they can often hear the phrase ‘you don’t look ill’ turn to ‘it can’t be that bad’.

We’ve all been in pain but it’s surprisingly difficult to imagine having a pain that lasts literally every day. It might be tempting to try motivating them using a pep-talk but it can result in guilt tripping which is be incredibly demotivating. It’s important not to use throwaway lines like ‘you’ll get over it’ because it distances you from the problem and isolates those with chronic pain.

7. It’s exhausting

Chronic pain requires a lot of energy. It’s like having four flat tires and half a tank of gas then starting a cross country tour.

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Every activity ranging from getting out of bed to washing dishes to waiting for the bus takes a significant amount of energy. As a result of this, they might have to cancel plans and end the day early. Loving someone with chronic pain means cutting them some slack or planning more low-key events with them.

8. They appreciate your support

Suffering from chronic pain can feel lonely and hopeless. The relationship between a person and their pain is dynamic. It can change from apathy to frustration to hopelessness over time. These changes on a persons outlook on life and their pain are difficult to deal with especially if they become consumed with frustration. The changes are unique for every person so there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

As you can see, chronic pain is just as emotional as it is physical. Having a person who simply listens and tries their best to understand can make that journey much easier.

A supportive friend is invaluable.

Your support is treasured dearly!

Featured photo credit: rolands.lakis via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

Learning how to get in shape and set goals is important if you’re looking to live a healthier lifestyle and get closer to your goal weight. While this does require changes to your daily routine, you’ll find that you are able to look and feel better in only two weeks.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get in shape. Although anyone can cover the basics (eat right and exercise), there are some things that I could only learn through trial and error. Let’s cover some of the most important points for how to get in shape in two weeks.

1. Exercise Daily

It is far easier to make exercise a habit if it is a daily one. If you aren’t exercising at all, I recommend starting by exercising a half hour every day. When you only exercise a couple times per week, it is much easier to turn one day off into three days off, a week off, or a month off.

If you are already used to exercising, switching to three or four times a week to fit your schedule may be preferable, but it is a lot harder to maintain a workout program you don’t do every day.

Be careful to not repeat the same exercise routine each day. If you do an intense ab workout one day, try switching it up to general cardio the next. You can also squeeze in a day of light walking to break up the intensity.

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If you’re a morning person, check out these morning exercises that will start your day off right.

2. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity

Once you get into the habit of regular exercise, where do you go if you still aren’t reaching your goals? Most people will solve the problem by exercising for longer periods of time, turning forty-minute workouts into two hour stretches. Not only does this drain your time, but it doesn’t work particularly well.

One study shows that “exercising for a whole hour instead of a half does not provide any additional loss in either body weight or fat”[1].

This is great news for both your schedule and your levels of motivation. You’ll likely find it much easier to exercise for 30 minutes a day instead of an hour. In those 30 minutes, do your best to up the intensity to your appropriate edge to get the most out of the time.

3. Acknowledge Your Limits

Many people get frustrated when they plateau in their weight loss or muscle gaining goals as they’re learning how to get in shape. Everyone has an equilibrium and genetic set point where their body wants to remain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your fitness goals, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are struggling to lose weight or put on muscle.

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Acknowledging a set point doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean realizing the obstacles you face.

Expect to hit a plateau in your own fitness results[2]. When you expect a plateau, you can manage around it so you can continue your progress at a more realistic rate. When expectations meet reality, you can avoid dietary crashes.

4. Eat Healthy, Not Just Food That Looks Healthy

Know what you eat. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether you’re getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan, but be aware of the big things. Look at the foods you eat regularly and figure out whether they are healthy or not. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you.

The basic nutritional advice includes:

  • Eat unprocessed foods
  • Eat more veggies
  • Use meat as a side dish, not a main course
  • Eat whole grains, not refined grains[3]

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Eat whole grains when you want to learn how to get in shape.

    5. Watch Out for Travel

    Don’t let a four-day holiday interfere with your attempts when you’re learning how to get in shape. I don’t mean that you need to follow your diet and exercise plan without any excursion, but when you are in the first few weeks, still forming habits, be careful that a week long break doesn’t terminate your progress.

    This is also true of schedule changes that leave you suddenly busy or make it difficult to exercise. Have a backup plan so you can be consistent, at least for the first month when you are forming habits.

    If travel is on your schedule and can’t be avoided, make an exercise plan before you go[4], and make sure to pack exercise clothes and an exercise mat as motivation to keep you on track.

    6. Start Slow

    Ever start an exercise plan by running ten miles and then puking your guts out? Maybe you aren’t that extreme, but burnout is common early on when learning how to get in shape. You have a lifetime to be healthy, so don’t try to go from couch potato to athletic superstar in a week.

    If you are starting a running regime, for example, run less than you can to start. Starting strength training? Work with less weight than you could theoretically lift. Increasing intensity and pushing yourself can come later when your body becomes comfortable with regular exercise.

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    7. Be Careful When Choosing a Workout Partner

    Should you have a workout partner? That depends. Workout partners can help you stay motivated and make exercising more fun. But they can also stop you from reaching your goals.

    My suggestion would be to have a workout partner, but when you start to plateau (either in physical ability, weight loss/gain, or overall health) and you haven’t reached your goals, consider mixing things up a bit.

    If you plateau, you may need to make changes to continue improving. In this case it’s important to talk to your workout partner about the changes you want to make, and if they don’t seem motivated to continue, offer a thirty day break where you both try different activities.

    I notice that guys working out together tend to match strength after a brief adjustment phase. Even if both are trying to improve, something seems to stall improvement once they reach a certain point. I found that I was able to lift as much as 30-50% more after taking a short break from my regular workout partner.

    Final Thoughts

    Learning how to get in shape in as little as two weeks sounds daunting, but if you’re motivated and have the time and energy to devote to it, it’s certainly possible.

    Find an exercise routine that works for you, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and watch as the transformation begins.

    More Tips on Getting in Shape

    Featured photo credit: Alexander Redl via unsplash.com

    Reference

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