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You’ll Be Stunned: Daughter Abandoned By Father Comments On His New Life

You’ll Be Stunned: Daughter Abandoned By Father Comments On His New Life

Sometimes life throws us curve balls and things don’t go as they are supposed to. I’m sure that you have experienced this, just as I have. Perhaps you studied all night for that test, yet you didn’t pass? Maybe you finally worked up the courage to talk to that crush, and they turned you down? Maybe that train made you late for that amazing job interview, costing you that much-coveted job? These are just regular life occurrences, and they happen to all of us. We have no choice but to suck it up, and carry on with our days. However, what happens when a person who shouldn’t, terribly wrongs you?

Such was the case with the young lady in this story. Her father abandoned her at a very young age, leaving her mother to do all the work in raising her. The father made the odd appearance here and there while she was very young, then disappeared again. This man (and I use the term loosely) didn’t even have the common decency of providing financially for his offspring. He requested to give up his parental responsibility to avoid child support, and the mother agreed. This is a common occurrence in today’s world, but the way this child handled it, definitely is not.

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As I write about this story, I feel my blood boil. I am filled with anger and rage. Few things can get me going like a deadbeat father. However, the little girl (only 11 years old at this point) handled it very differently. After a chance encounter with a mutual friend, the mother learned that the dad had settled down and started to raise a family. She reacted much like I have. However, on the way home, her daughter surprised her. Instead of being angry or hurt, the little girl smiled and stated, “He finally learned how to be a dad.” The mother states that she learned all she needed to about forgiveness at that point.

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I decided to write this article because the innocence of this child amazed me. Unlike her, I am not this forgiving. As an adult, and a father, I know all that goes into raising a young child today. Yet, who am I to be angry at him? If the main victim of his transgression is not seething, and even her mother (who was also a victim of his abandonment) could let it go, then who am I to be angry for them? This story showed me that I have a lot to learn about forgiveness. I hope that some of you out there, who are like me, can also learn to forgive, or at least acknowledge that you have much more room for personal growth. I know that I do!

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    Featured photo credit: Diply.com Facebook Post Preview via diply.com

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    Last Updated on May 17, 2019

    This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

    This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

    The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

    But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

    If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

    What Is the Comfort Zone?

    The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

    What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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    The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

    Here’s what I’ve learned.

    1. You will be scared

    Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

    So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

    That’s what separates winners from losers.

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    2. You will fail

    Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

    That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

    3. You will learn

    Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

    4. You will see yourself in a different way

    Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

    Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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    5. Your peers will see you in a different way

    Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

    But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

    The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

    6. Your comfort zone will expand

    The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

    This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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    7. You will increase your concentration and focus

    When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

    But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

    8. You will develop new skills

    Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

    Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

    9. You will achieve more than before

    With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

    Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

    Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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