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This Is Why Some People Are So Good At Negotiating

This Is Why Some People Are So Good At Negotiating

ow do you view negotiations? Do you consider it to be intimidating and exhaustive? Have you met super negotiators who are skilled at getting what they want? What skills do you think a great negotiator needs to have?

My little brother may just be a good negotiator or perhaps your kids are great at negotiating and having their way at the long run.

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It is important that a great negotiation has all parties having their way and it is a win-win situation. Why negotiation may be necessary is to understand what the other person wants and providing it. Such specification could lead to understanding the emotions surrounding this desire. That is why I could hand you a burger for 20 bucks and you will still be glad about it. Here are reasons some people are good negotiators.

1. They are honest

You have to get the other party to trust you. Many people tend to think that great negotiators are liars, stubborn and mean. But there is nothing mean about a great negotiator. Rather they know how to make the other person feel comfortable in making their demands and getting what they want. Being honest doesn’t mean that they are loose lipped; rather they are focused on ascertaining trust and a common ground in the process.

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2. They are empathetic

The truth is that great negotiators are considerate. They appeal to the emotional angle first before they appeal to the logical one. By appealing to the emotional angle of the other person, they appear soft and contrite. This skill also allays the other person’s doubts and discomfort about getting a fair price or getting what they want.

3. They are attentive

They are great at asking questions. They ask questions that trigger exact and definitive answers. Learning to ask such open ended questions requires practice. But doing this allows them to listen better and learn more about what spurs the other person’s demands and requests. They can decipher what drives the other party to make such demands because they are attentive.

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A question like “we would love twenty percent, is that good enough?” will achieve such an objective. Rather than using verbs like “is” or “was”, start your questions with words like “how,” “what,” and “why.”

4. They are prepared

Good negotiators know where they are heading and who they are dealing with. They understand that people do not simply make decisions rationally but most times act unconsciously or emotionally or both. This is why great negotiators approach each negotiation with an emotional focus. They have data, they know what options they have, who has the bargaining power and their bottom line. Most great negotiators don’t just dive into a negotiation without some heads up.

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5. They are persistent and patient

Good negotiators know that being patient and exercising perseverance do pay off. Most people get tired of the negotiation process at some point and simply want to conclude the negotiation and move on. Good negotiators understand the human angle to this and play to wait. They understand it could come down to resilience and stamina. Holding on can be more efficient than a “take it or leave it” approach. They know that at the end of the day they could get the best possible deal by just staying the long haul.

6. They are persuasive

Great negotiators won’t just go in because of something sounds mouth watery. They are fair. They know what they want out of a deal and would go ahead to get it because they believe in what they are asking for. They feel justified they are deserving of what they are demanding and would stick to persuading the other party to see why this is so. This doesn’t make them less reasonable but actually their form of persuasiveness makes them more agreeable.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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