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This Is Why Some People Are So Good At Negotiating

This Is Why Some People Are So Good At Negotiating

ow do you view negotiations? Do you consider it to be intimidating and exhaustive? Have you met super negotiators who are skilled at getting what they want? What skills do you think a great negotiator needs to have?

My little brother may just be a good negotiator or perhaps your kids are great at negotiating and having their way at the long run.

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It is important that a great negotiation has all parties having their way and it is a win-win situation. Why negotiation may be necessary is to understand what the other person wants and providing it. Such specification could lead to understanding the emotions surrounding this desire. That is why I could hand you a burger for 20 bucks and you will still be glad about it. Here are reasons some people are good negotiators.

1. They are honest

You have to get the other party to trust you. Many people tend to think that great negotiators are liars, stubborn and mean. But there is nothing mean about a great negotiator. Rather they know how to make the other person feel comfortable in making their demands and getting what they want. Being honest doesn’t mean that they are loose lipped; rather they are focused on ascertaining trust and a common ground in the process.

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2. They are empathetic

The truth is that great negotiators are considerate. They appeal to the emotional angle first before they appeal to the logical one. By appealing to the emotional angle of the other person, they appear soft and contrite. This skill also allays the other person’s doubts and discomfort about getting a fair price or getting what they want.

3. They are attentive

They are great at asking questions. They ask questions that trigger exact and definitive answers. Learning to ask such open ended questions requires practice. But doing this allows them to listen better and learn more about what spurs the other person’s demands and requests. They can decipher what drives the other party to make such demands because they are attentive.

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A question like “we would love twenty percent, is that good enough?” will achieve such an objective. Rather than using verbs like “is” or “was”, start your questions with words like “how,” “what,” and “why.”

4. They are prepared

Good negotiators know where they are heading and who they are dealing with. They understand that people do not simply make decisions rationally but most times act unconsciously or emotionally or both. This is why great negotiators approach each negotiation with an emotional focus. They have data, they know what options they have, who has the bargaining power and their bottom line. Most great negotiators don’t just dive into a negotiation without some heads up.

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5. They are persistent and patient

Good negotiators know that being patient and exercising perseverance do pay off. Most people get tired of the negotiation process at some point and simply want to conclude the negotiation and move on. Good negotiators understand the human angle to this and play to wait. They understand it could come down to resilience and stamina. Holding on can be more efficient than a “take it or leave it” approach. They know that at the end of the day they could get the best possible deal by just staying the long haul.

6. They are persuasive

Great negotiators won’t just go in because of something sounds mouth watery. They are fair. They know what they want out of a deal and would go ahead to get it because they believe in what they are asking for. They feel justified they are deserving of what they are demanding and would stick to persuading the other party to see why this is so. This doesn’t make them less reasonable but actually their form of persuasiveness makes them more agreeable.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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