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This Is Why Some People Are So Good At Negotiating

This Is Why Some People Are So Good At Negotiating

ow do you view negotiations? Do you consider it to be intimidating and exhaustive? Have you met super negotiators who are skilled at getting what they want? What skills do you think a great negotiator needs to have?

My little brother may just be a good negotiator or perhaps your kids are great at negotiating and having their way at the long run.

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It is important that a great negotiation has all parties having their way and it is a win-win situation. Why negotiation may be necessary is to understand what the other person wants and providing it. Such specification could lead to understanding the emotions surrounding this desire. That is why I could hand you a burger for 20 bucks and you will still be glad about it. Here are reasons some people are good negotiators.

1. They are honest

You have to get the other party to trust you. Many people tend to think that great negotiators are liars, stubborn and mean. But there is nothing mean about a great negotiator. Rather they know how to make the other person feel comfortable in making their demands and getting what they want. Being honest doesn’t mean that they are loose lipped; rather they are focused on ascertaining trust and a common ground in the process.

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2. They are empathetic

The truth is that great negotiators are considerate. They appeal to the emotional angle first before they appeal to the logical one. By appealing to the emotional angle of the other person, they appear soft and contrite. This skill also allays the other person’s doubts and discomfort about getting a fair price or getting what they want.

3. They are attentive

They are great at asking questions. They ask questions that trigger exact and definitive answers. Learning to ask such open ended questions requires practice. But doing this allows them to listen better and learn more about what spurs the other person’s demands and requests. They can decipher what drives the other party to make such demands because they are attentive.

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A question like “we would love twenty percent, is that good enough?” will achieve such an objective. Rather than using verbs like “is” or “was”, start your questions with words like “how,” “what,” and “why.”

4. They are prepared

Good negotiators know where they are heading and who they are dealing with. They understand that people do not simply make decisions rationally but most times act unconsciously or emotionally or both. This is why great negotiators approach each negotiation with an emotional focus. They have data, they know what options they have, who has the bargaining power and their bottom line. Most great negotiators don’t just dive into a negotiation without some heads up.

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5. They are persistent and patient

Good negotiators know that being patient and exercising perseverance do pay off. Most people get tired of the negotiation process at some point and simply want to conclude the negotiation and move on. Good negotiators understand the human angle to this and play to wait. They understand it could come down to resilience and stamina. Holding on can be more efficient than a “take it or leave it” approach. They know that at the end of the day they could get the best possible deal by just staying the long haul.

6. They are persuasive

Great negotiators won’t just go in because of something sounds mouth watery. They are fair. They know what they want out of a deal and would go ahead to get it because they believe in what they are asking for. They feel justified they are deserving of what they are demanding and would stick to persuading the other party to see why this is so. This doesn’t make them less reasonable but actually their form of persuasiveness makes them more agreeable.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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