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6 Signs That You Are Not Yet Ready For A New Relationship

6 Signs That You Are Not Yet Ready For A New Relationship

For many, the best way to get over a break up and move on is to jump into another relationship. However, this could be a mistake as you are still emotionally vulnerable and could be a victim for a more devastating situation. Carrying on a relationship requires some emotional stability and inner strength to keep on going. As they say, a relationship can never be like being single because it is a full-time job. Don’t sweat it out. Wait and be prepared for the real thing when it comes.

Here are some signs to prove you are not ready for a new relationship since you have not fully recovered from the former.

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1. You are still distorted

You still can’t figure out why your ex left you, or if you want to get back with your ex. You still value and cherish the moments you had so you find it hard to let go. You are seriously considering some breakup sex. That is to say, you are hoping that they will come back. You do not have that clarity yet and truly cannot harness what you feel. Before you get into a new relationship, you really need to be honest with yourself.

2. You are hurt

You still have some bitterness swelling inside you and you simply can’t let go. You wish you could have your vengeance or try to get back at your ex. Sometimes, you cry at your loss and you really can’t come to term with the fact that it is over. All that resentment has to go before you set yourself up for a new relationship.

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3. You are still holding on to something that belongs to them

You have something that kept you and your ex together for a while. It could be the memories, it could be their items, or the envisioned future that you hoped to shared together. You have this thing tucked somewhere in your heart, or in your closet, and you need to let it go before you move on to a new relationship.

4. You are afraid

Fear can be synonymous with love. You are afraid to get hurt again. You think every other person is like your ex and that they are out to break and hurt you. You do not want to risk anything. You aren’t ready to fight for what could be an exciting journey either.

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5. You are angry

It is one thing to be hurt, but it is another thing to be angry and not willing to forgive. You believe you have been wronged and that the Fates have played a fast one on you. Such bitterness won’t allow you to see the possibilities and the beauty that could be waiting for you just ahead. If you want to be happy and enjoy a new relationship, you have to be willing to forgive and be ready to appreciate what you benefited from in your past relationship, rather than what you lost.

6. You are lazy

The act of being broken makes you sort of lazy and weak. A new relationship has to make you feel alive, active, and full of life. You can’t be lazy and have dulled senses to get into something new. Most times, a relationship is meant to unleash our creativity and romantic capacities. If you are lazy and can’t give enough energy into a new relationship it means you have still not gotten over your former relationship. Be willing to give some energy. If you are going into a new relationship, push yourself to making your other half happy.

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Conclusion

Altogether, it does take a while to get out of a broken relationship and fully recover from the emotional pain. It is better and more important for you to fully recover from a broken relationship and face future possibilities in a new relationship. Taking note of these signs could be helpful in determining where you are at the moment.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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