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Feel Fat and Worthless? It Could Be Destroying Your Business.

Feel Fat and Worthless? It Could Be Destroying Your Business.

Can’t remember the last time you looked in the mirror and actually liked what you saw? Struggling to think back to when you felt wholeheartedly confident, fearlessly self-assured and determinedly bold?

I feel you.

But feeling crappy about yourself could be doing even more harm than you might think … in fact, it may even be destroying your business and career. Here’s how.

The message

Okay, I’m going to get really straight with you: every day (in a myriad of ways), you’re sending a message out to the world.

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With the way you dress, the way you walk, the way you hold and present yourself, the way you speak, the words you use, the expression on your face and even the menu options you choose, you’re telling a story. Physically, mentally and even energetically, you’re sending your message – and your story – out into the world. And that story is being read, interpreted and reviewed by every single person you come in contact with – both consciously and subconsciously.

In the same way, we make snap judgments (which yep, I know totally sucks) about the people we come in contact with. We form opinions based on their body language. We decide whether we like them, want to work with them and – wait for it – want to invest in them (either financially, energetically or even just with our time) based on the story we read.

What’s your story?

And here’s where the problem rests: when you feel crappy about yourself, you’re also projecting that image out into that world. You’re sending the I’m-fat-and-worthless story to everyone you come in contact with. And even though you’re running yourself ragged trying to run a wildly successful business that attracts an abundance of clients and customers, it doesn’t matter. Because your story is saying that you – and in turn your business – aren’t worth anybody’s time.

Now, to simplify this massively, the story and message you’re sending out into the world is either one of success and abundance (“Look at me, I’m confident, happy, positive and radiating with success!”), or one of failure, lack, scarcity and rejection (“Ugh, I’m so fat and worthless. Everybody hates me. I’ll never get anywhere.”)

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And while we all have our A-team of supportive cheerleaders that help us shake off our negative funks, the truth is that the majority of people you interact with – and that your business needs to influence and woo – won’t care about your potential. They’ll judge you based on what they see, feel, hear and experience.

You get back what you put out

So, how can you use this 24/7 story-telling spiel to your advantage? Simple: be mindful of what message you’re sending out into the world.

I discovered the Law of Attraction through Esther and Jerry Hicks and while it’s a bit woo-woo, it does make sense to me. Condensed and simplified, it essentially means that you get back what you put out. Think happy, blissful thoughts? Get a happy, blissful experience. On the flip side, if you feel fat, worthless and unsuccessful, you’ll be attracting experiences that reinforce those feelings.

But wait … how can you change your story? And how can you feel good about yourself, attract positive experiences and expect good things to happen, when you feel fat, worthless and unsuccessful?

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Well, while everyone is different (and I encourage you to discover what works for you) here are three strategies that have helped me transform my story:

1. If what you focus on grows, then focus on the good stuff.

Take Peter Pan’s advice and think happy thoughts. Surround yourself with positive people. Take time to enjoy yourself, and your day, in as many ways as you can. Make your life about deliberately feeling good.

2. Practice gratitude.

If you’re reading this, then your life is pretty awesome. You have a digital device that allows you to read information on the inter-webs. You have time to read an article on Lifehack. And you’re in a position where you’re able to better yourself and your life. This is not something to be taken for granted. Now, I know this doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and unicorns in your world. But by setting aside five or ten-minutes each day to say thank you for the good things that are in your life, you’ll feel so much better. Science says so too (not just the hippy entrepreneurial girl).

3. Rewrite your story.

In addition to writing ‘business stories’ for my professional copy-writing clients, I also write fiction in my spare time. Now this means that I’m kind of a super word geek, but more importantly that I have an unquenchable passion for storytelling. And this has come in very handy on those “WHY DON’T MY FAT JEANS FIT!” days. Because you know what I do? I rewrite. I’m no longer the girl who indulged in way too many cupcakes and now can’t fit into her jeans, I’m the girl who is going to wear that bangin’ maxi dress that she feels sexy as heck in. And you know what? It works. My confidence soars, the fat pants get shelved and I go on with my day. Because the reality is that it’s all just perception anyway. So why not do a rewrite? You’re not the entrepreneur who failed one too many times. You’re the genius business whiz who picked themselves up and kept going. You’re the successful entrepreneur who made their dreams a reality.

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Because it’s time for you to start calling the shots. It’s time for you to consciously choose your story and your message. It’s time for you to feel powerful, strong and brilliantly successful. It’s time for you. Now, go get ’em, tiger.

Featured photo credit: picjumbo.com_HNCK8495 via media.lifehack.org

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Last Updated on July 2, 2020

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

In life, we encounter problems as we breathe. But it doesn’t get to us until we feel a major impact, and that’s when it becomes a source of concern, hurt, or sorrow.

Life problems, depending on their magnitude, can be clogs in the wheel of progress, and we may not be able to attain our full potential if we don’t learn to place our problems in the proper perspectives as suggested in Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last.

In this article, I have identified some common areas where you will most likely face problems as you make progress towards reaching your full life potential. I have also suggested practical approaches in handling, managing, and solving such problems.

1. Financial Crisis

We live in an uncertain world and a financial crisis may come at different stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a financial crisis, it may still catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years.

It could be that you lost your job or a major investment, got slammed with a lawsuit that threatens your savings, or have your livelihood be affected by a major disaster. So what do you do when you are in a financial mess?

Solution

To overcome a financial crisis, you will have to come to terms with the crisis. Acknowledge and accept the situation and begin recovery by setting your financial priorities right.

The next thing to do is to identify the cause of the crisis. If it’s due to a job loss, then your effort should be directed at getting a new job. If it is having multiple debts, look for ways to consolidate your debt so that your monthly debt repayment can be consolidated into one instead of being burdened with multiple payments.

You can also sell some of your assets to raise money to save the situation, or look for a better job if you are earning less at your current job. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends if you need to.

2. Health Crisis

Another major problem that might come up in your life is a health crisis. This is not far-fetched because our body systems work round-the-clock, even when we are sleeping. As a result of this, and if you don’t maintain routine health habits, health deterioration might begin to set in. Things might even get serious if you don’t attend to it early.

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Solution

When you are facing a major health crisis, the first thing to do is to consider lifestyle changes. This includes cutting down on junks, eating healthy diets, exercising, breathing fresh air, taking some sun, etc.

Apart from the lifestyle changes, you have to seek quality medical help and make sure you get different opinions about the state of your health so you can get the best affordable care.

3. Relationship, Marriage, and Family

There may not be anything as sweet as love and family life, but it can also be the source of pain for some. Human imperfections in a relationship can cause a major crisis in life. This has been a stumbling block to many on their path to fulfillment.

Solution

The best thing to do is to prevent relationship problems from happening, but if they do happen, you need to face reality and begin to take steps towards addressing them. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open as this can help in strengthening your struggling relationship. Talk about the challenges with your partner and look for common grounds.

You can also arrange to see a counselor together or read books that address the specific challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to end a relationship and that’s only when you have exhausted all other options.

4. Workplace

The workplace is supposed to be a place where we dutifully render the services for which we’ve been hired.

However, it is not impossible to face animosity at work—dealing with toxic people who would rather not see any good in what you do. It might be caused by differences in background, attitudes, and unhealthy competition that can result in personal conflicts. This can create undue stress and reduce productivity.

Solution

Be as professional as possible when dealing with toxic people. Be kind and show understanding, and try to avoid personal confrontation.

You can even try to reach out to the persons and invite them over for a coffee and get to understand their worldview. This can help you to connect with them at their level so that you can avoid unnecessary stress for yourself.

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5. Career Pressure

In your quest to become more successful, you will likely encounter work-related pressure. Such can come when trying to stabilize your career or climb the career ladder. It can also come as a result of overworking and having no life. Career pressure is one of the most common life problems.

Sometimes, it may be that the promotion you are working hard to get is not coming or positions you are qualified for are being offered to others. The pressure can get more intense when you find that most of your colleagues are moving ahead of you.

Solution

Check to find if you have personal or attitudinal problems. Some attitudinal problems can put you at a disadvantaged end. It may be poor communication, poor personal grooming, or poor relationship and networking skills. If it is any of these problems, then work on improving yourself in those areas.

You can also observe your colleagues who are succeeding and take note of what they are doing differently.

6. Unfair Treatment

We are in a world where some people often think they have some privileges over others and may want to exercise this thinking and treat others unfairly. If you find yourself in an environment where you are being oppressed or treated badly because of your race, gender, or current status, this can make you feel really bad and can also affect your psyche and productivity.

Solution

There is the temptation to decry your treatment, defend yourself, and demand a change immediately, but you should really wait for the right opportunity to do that.

When the time is right, reach out directly to the person or authority involved, and make it private. Meanwhile, you should be factual about the instances of your unfair treatments. Don’t just say it that you are being treated badly; give several undeniable instances.

Once you’ve made your grievances known politely, keep being you. If things don’t change, you can cocoon yourself in that environment. If you have an option to leave, you can do so as well.

7. Emptiness and Boredom

When you are in a rut, everything becomes normal, dull, unproductive, and yet difficult to change. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and boredom. This may not seem like a serious life problem, but it can have a great impact on your life.

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Solution

To overcome boredom and emptiness, break out of your routines, and deliberately create a new experience for yourself. If you can’t leave your job to find a new one, start doing other things that reflect your true passion. Sometimes, the things that give us the needed drive in life are not our day jobs.

8. Confusion

Confusion is described as a change in mental status in which a person is not able to think with their usual level of clarity.[1]. It is inherent in forgetfulness and lack of concentration.

It can be caused by different things including medical and environmental factors. It can also be due to the experience of a loss, a heartbreak, or abuse.

Solution

Don’t allow the situation to deteriorate into something more serious. Try to snap out of whatever experiences you have had that is causing confusion. Seek medical help if necessary or talk to a psychologist.

9. Friendship Problems

We need friends in our lives to rob minds and hang out together and even help us when we run into trouble. But many people have found themselves in serious trouble as a result of the company of friends they keep. They’ve experienced jealousy, backstabbing, and betrayal of trust. Some friends have even used the information freely provided in times of friendship to betray trust.

Solution

Don’t open up on everything to friends. Keep some information only to yourself. If you notice that a friend is working against you, confront them with the truth. Limit your interaction with them or get rid of such toxic friends completely.

10. Haunting Past

We all have pasts, and we might have done some crazy stuff in the past before we begin to live a more civilized and decent life. But sometimes, the past comes back haunting. It’s even worse when life problems of the past haunt you back and become problems of the present.

It may be that what you have done is now striking your conscience, keeping you awake at night. Or someone who knows about it is trying to use it against you, and it is standing in the way of your progress.

Solution

Be true to yourself and forgive yourself. If it is an issue with another person, you can reach out to the person to settle with them. If it is a secret that is now being leaked out, own up to it, take responsibility, and move on.

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11. Safety and Security

You may find yourself in an environment where there have been unexplained murder, gun violence, police brutality, insurgencies, and other life-threatening situations. This can make you feel like you might be the next victim. What should you do in this situation?

Solution

Ensure that you watch where you go and keep your home secure. You can also get involved in a neighborhood community watch to collectively find solutions to the threat. If the situation persists, you can move to a more secure location.

12. Failure

Failure can bring disappointment and can also slow the pace of progress. But failure is also part of life, and we have to learn to deal with it. But what do you do when an experience of failure weighs you down?

Solution

You can read a book or biography to get inspired by other people’s success stories.

13. Grief

No one loves to grief but we can’t totally shield ourselves from it. The loss of a loved one is painful and, if not properly handled, can lead to an emotional breakdown.

Solution

Take your time to express emotions. You can also pen an emotional tribute to the individual. Writing can help us bring out the feelings that cannot be expressed otherwise, and it helps us breathe a sigh of relief.

You can also cope with your grief by helping them to realize some of their unfulfilled dreams or do something in their honor. Lastly, while you think about your loss, you will still have to move on, accepting the fact that life is transient.

The Bottom Line

Problems are what make life worth living. They help us adapt to become tougher as we adapt to different situations. Always remember that whatever problem you are facing has a solution or, at least, a manageable approach.

Therefore, never allow your challenges to stop you from fulfilling your true potentials in life.

More Tips to Help You Get Unstuck

Featured photo credit: Danka & Peter via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medicinet: Confusion: Symptoms & Signs

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