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Feel Fat and Worthless? It Could Be Destroying Your Business.

Feel Fat and Worthless? It Could Be Destroying Your Business.

Can’t remember the last time you looked in the mirror and actually liked what you saw? Struggling to think back to when you felt wholeheartedly confident, fearlessly self-assured and determinedly bold?

I feel you.

But feeling crappy about yourself could be doing even more harm than you might think … in fact, it may even be destroying your business and career. Here’s how.

The message

Okay, I’m going to get really straight with you: every day (in a myriad of ways), you’re sending a message out to the world.

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With the way you dress, the way you walk, the way you hold and present yourself, the way you speak, the words you use, the expression on your face and even the menu options you choose, you’re telling a story. Physically, mentally and even energetically, you’re sending your message – and your story – out into the world. And that story is being read, interpreted and reviewed by every single person you come in contact with – both consciously and subconsciously.

In the same way, we make snap judgments (which yep, I know totally sucks) about the people we come in contact with. We form opinions based on their body language. We decide whether we like them, want to work with them and – wait for it – want to invest in them (either financially, energetically or even just with our time) based on the story we read.

What’s your story?

And here’s where the problem rests: when you feel crappy about yourself, you’re also projecting that image out into that world. You’re sending the I’m-fat-and-worthless story to everyone you come in contact with. And even though you’re running yourself ragged trying to run a wildly successful business that attracts an abundance of clients and customers, it doesn’t matter. Because your story is saying that you – and in turn your business – aren’t worth anybody’s time.

Now, to simplify this massively, the story and message you’re sending out into the world is either one of success and abundance (“Look at me, I’m confident, happy, positive and radiating with success!”), or one of failure, lack, scarcity and rejection (“Ugh, I’m so fat and worthless. Everybody hates me. I’ll never get anywhere.”)

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And while we all have our A-team of supportive cheerleaders that help us shake off our negative funks, the truth is that the majority of people you interact with – and that your business needs to influence and woo – won’t care about your potential. They’ll judge you based on what they see, feel, hear and experience.

You get back what you put out

So, how can you use this 24/7 story-telling spiel to your advantage? Simple: be mindful of what message you’re sending out into the world.

I discovered the Law of Attraction through Esther and Jerry Hicks and while it’s a bit woo-woo, it does make sense to me. Condensed and simplified, it essentially means that you get back what you put out. Think happy, blissful thoughts? Get a happy, blissful experience. On the flip side, if you feel fat, worthless and unsuccessful, you’ll be attracting experiences that reinforce those feelings.

But wait … how can you change your story? And how can you feel good about yourself, attract positive experiences and expect good things to happen, when you feel fat, worthless and unsuccessful?

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Well, while everyone is different (and I encourage you to discover what works for you) here are three strategies that have helped me transform my story:

1. If what you focus on grows, then focus on the good stuff.

Take Peter Pan’s advice and think happy thoughts. Surround yourself with positive people. Take time to enjoy yourself, and your day, in as many ways as you can. Make your life about deliberately feeling good.

2. Practice gratitude.

If you’re reading this, then your life is pretty awesome. You have a digital device that allows you to read information on the inter-webs. You have time to read an article on Lifehack. And you’re in a position where you’re able to better yourself and your life. This is not something to be taken for granted. Now, I know this doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and unicorns in your world. But by setting aside five or ten-minutes each day to say thank you for the good things that are in your life, you’ll feel so much better. Science says so too (not just the hippy entrepreneurial girl).

3. Rewrite your story.

In addition to writing ‘business stories’ for my professional copy-writing clients, I also write fiction in my spare time. Now this means that I’m kind of a super word geek, but more importantly that I have an unquenchable passion for storytelling. And this has come in very handy on those “WHY DON’T MY FAT JEANS FIT!” days. Because you know what I do? I rewrite. I’m no longer the girl who indulged in way too many cupcakes and now can’t fit into her jeans, I’m the girl who is going to wear that bangin’ maxi dress that she feels sexy as heck in. And you know what? It works. My confidence soars, the fat pants get shelved and I go on with my day. Because the reality is that it’s all just perception anyway. So why not do a rewrite? You’re not the entrepreneur who failed one too many times. You’re the genius business whiz who picked themselves up and kept going. You’re the successful entrepreneur who made their dreams a reality.

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Because it’s time for you to start calling the shots. It’s time for you to consciously choose your story and your message. It’s time for you to feel powerful, strong and brilliantly successful. It’s time for you. Now, go get ’em, tiger.

Featured photo credit: picjumbo.com_HNCK8495 via media.lifehack.org

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Published on September 17, 2018

17 Ways to Ace Your Next Phone Interview And Land the Job You Deserve

17 Ways to Ace Your Next Phone Interview And Land the Job You Deserve

There is one thing standing in the way of you and the job of your dreams: a phone interview. The screening interview is an opportunity for companies to narrow the list of presumably qualified applicants and determine who merits a closer look.

So many candidates exclude themselves from the phone interview by being unprepared or by failing to take this screening session seriously. A phone interview should not block you from living the life you have always imagined.

Here are 17 tips to help you ace your next one:

1. Clear the deck.

If you are reading this blog, you are likely busier than you would prefer or even imagine. Even when you schedule or accept phone interviews, they are likely sandwiched between meetings.

To show up fully present, energized and engaged, I recommend you clear the deck and give yourself at least an hour of uninterrupted time before and 30 minutes following the interview.

You can use the time to mentally prepare, develop a list of questions, rehearse answers to likely questions and ensure you are comfortable and ready for the interview.

2. Look the part.

It is no secret that we perform better when we look and feel the part. If you have a phone interview, dress up for the interview, if dressing up is comfortable and allows you to put your best foot forward.

Even though you will likely do the interview from home or a private location, be sure you are dressed professionally. This will allow you to be fully engaged and present.

In the event, the interviewer asks to connect with you via Zoom, Google Hangout or Skype, you will be prepared.

3. Resend your resume and cover letter prior to the call.

As a courtesy, resend your resume and cover letter prior to your screening interview. You never know if the person interviewing you has had a busy day or if a schedule change forced him or her to work from home rather than the office where the individual has access to their files.

There have been many times in my career where a last-minute change or a mix-up with support staff has left me scrambling at the last minute to find a candidate’s resume. It is quite embarrassing to misplace a resume and ask the interviewee to resubmit it.

You can save the interviewer the trouble and earn extra points by resending both documents in advance of your call. A simple message will suffice, such as “I am looking forward to speaking with you in an hour, and I am resending my resume to ensure it is at the top of your inbox.”

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4. Research the interviewer.

Once your interview is scheduled, be sure to research the person facilitating it.

You will want to Google the person and check their social media accounts. When you research the interviewer, try to get a sense of the individual’s personal and professional interests.

Once you identify those interests, acknowledge them in the interview, but do not dwell on them, because you do not want to make the interviewer uncomfortable. Follow his or her lead. If the interviewer indulges your questions or comments, by all means, continue the conversation.

I am always impressed when someone I am meeting with takes the opportunity to learn something about me ahead of time. This projects interest, which is important in my line of work.

5. Research the company.

In addition to researching the interviewer, be sure to research the company.

Ask people in your network if they know anyone who works or has worked for the organization in question. Conduct a Google search on the company, and be mindful to look beyond the first page of the search query.

If there are yelp reviews on the company, be careful to review those and look for trends as well as how recent the reviews were posted. While more recent reviews are obviously cause for pause, older reviews – depending on their nature – could be problematic as well.

6. Check the staff listing or “About Us” section of the company’s website.

Part of your research into a company is assessing whether you know staff or board members who are connected with the company.

Most organizations list their staff or board members in the “About Us” or “Our Team” section of the website. Prior to a phone interview, check these sections to determine whether you know someone who works for the company. If you do, reach out to that person to request a phone interview to learn more about the company.

7. Remember interviewing is a two-way street.

As much as the company representative wants to learn about you as the interviewee, you will want to learn about the organization.

Try to ferret out information on the company, the job for which you are applying as well as the manager to whom you would report. You will also want to ask questions to assess the interview process.

Additionally, because culture is important and will permit or slow your ability to do your job, ask questions to assess company culture, such as “What do your employees say they like most about working for your organization?” “What do employees say they like least?” “What do you do to create and maintain a healthy workplace culture?”

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8. Develop questions prior to the interview.

Prior to your interview, develop a list of questions about the company, the position for which you are applying, growth opportunities in the company, the ideal candidate for the position, and so forth. This will save you the trouble of thinking of questions on the spot during the interview.

I have found that once I become nervous, it is a lot harder to come up with questions on the spot, and interviews can be anxiety-producing without preparation.

9. Stand during the interview.

I train leaders and, incidentally, graduate students to become spokespersons.

I recommend that they stand during media interviews. I find that it helps the person speaking to project better, and it reduces the urge to get too comfortable in an interview setting and say something that could be too informal.

Similarly, I recommend interviewees stand for at least a portion of their phone interview.

10. Allow the interviewer to talk.

While it is essential you ask questions during an interview, you should not dominate the conversation.

Most people love talking about themselves and the company they represent, and it is your job as the interviewee to walk a fine line between allowing the interviewer to talk and interspersing questions when and where appropriate.

I am not suggesting you remain silent – you want the interviewer to learn about you; but you should ensure that the interviewer has ample opportunity to do what most people do best: talk about themselves and their work.

11. Refrain from multitasking.

We all live hurried lives, and most of us have to-do lists that are impossible to complete.

When we have multiple due dates and obligations, it is typical to want to avail oneself of every seemingly free moment of time.

When conducting or participating in a phone interview, be as present as possible. This means refraining from multitasking, which could mean responding to emails, text messages or social media messages. It could mean researching the company during the interview.

Whatever multitasking means for you, simply do not do it, especially during a screening interview.

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12. Conduct the phone interview in a place where there is minimal noise.

A common thread throughout this post has been that most of us live busy lives. So, it is natural to be on the go.

If you have the luxury of conducting a phone interview from home or a private office where there is minimal noise, do so. You may also rent a co-working space or ask a friend if you can borrow his or her office.

Whatever you do, select a place where there is minimal noise and distraction. The person interviewing you should not have to strain to hear what you are saying or compete with ambient noises.

When I am interviewing a candidate and competing with background noise, I grow frustrated and my focus can shift from getting to know the person to silencing the noise. Do not force your interviewer to choose.

13. Be punctual.

Do not leave the interviewer waiting. This is both rude and unprofessional, and it may count against you.

If you are able to follow my earlier advice and not schedule meetings within an hour of your phone interview, you should have no time being prompt for your discussion.

If you foresee that you will be late, be sure to give the interviewer a heads-up at least 15-20 minutes prior to the start of the call.

14. Focus on how you can and will help.

Let’s face it: people are naturally self-interested.

When you walk into an interview focused on what you can bring and how you can solve a hiring manager’s problems, you will set yourself and your candidacy apart.

Think about the challenges you could potentially solve and then share how your joining the team will benefit the company, not just you.

15. Take the interview seriously.

Do not assume you will have an opportunity to meet face to face with company representatives. Do not discount the weight that may be placed on phone interviews.

I once applied for a position on the East Coast while living on the West Coast. While my first interview was face to face, my interview with one senior leader was over the phone. I walked into the interview thinking it would be less intense than it was.

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From the moment the leader got on the phone with me, I was on my toes. I had to quickly recalibrate to handle the intensity of the questions lobbed on me.

To this day, more than six years later, that phone interview remains one of the most difficult interviews I have ever had. Fortunately for me, I was offered the job, but the experience still stands out as a learning lesson.

16. Send a thank-you note.

Kindness is underrated. We live in a society where most people are overscheduled and overbooked.

When faced with intense pressure, it can be easy to underestimate the role of kindness. But when someone shares a portion of the day with you by granting you an interview, you owe it to that individual and to yourself to send a thank-you note following the interview.

The note can be via email, a standard letter or a card. So few people do this that those who do stand out.

Become an individual who remembers this gesture of kindness and professional courtesy.

17. Be positive.

Energy really is contagious. If you don’t believe me, consider locking yourself in a room for one hour with people are upset. By the time you leave the room, you will be upset right along with them. It is natural to mirror the other person even if you do not realize you are doing it.

During your next phone interview, mirror positivity, both about the position, the company and most importantly, your skill sets. The interviewer will pick up on your energy and positivity and that will reflect favorably.

I cannot tell you how many times I have interviewed candidates who communicated no excitement or enthusiasm. Getting through the interview was difficult, not to mention, I kept thinking about what it would be like to work with the person daily.

Being positive not only helps you feel better, it helps the person interviewing you as well.

If you have read this list and want to add other tips, please tweet the link to this article and include the point you believe I missed. Use the hashtag #AceIt when you reach out.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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