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5 Ways Couples Find The Meaning Of True Love By Traveling The World Together

5 Ways Couples Find The Meaning Of True Love By Traveling The World Together

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” – Confucius

There are many couples across the globe that find the meaning of true love by traveling this world. Part of my job is to scan the internet and various sources in order to compile enough information to complete an article. The other day, I came across an article that struck a nerve. It was a compiled list of things you should not do while you are young. One of the points was: do not fall in love and stay in it. These are the years you are supposed to grow as a person, the years you are supposed to explore the Earth. The gist of the article was falling in love will only hold you back. Why turn down that opportunity to experience love with the hopes that you will explore the ends of this Earth? Why can’t you do both?

I (and a lot of other people on this planet) can say from experience that falling in love is a great idea… as long as it is with the right person. You can travel the world and grow as a person, as long as the person that you are with is just as enthusiastic about it as you are. This is what I mean by the right person.

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I have traveled more of this world in the past two years than I could ever fathom seeing in a lifetime. I am not the only one either. Ryan Fontana and Molly Joseph are a couple that sold all their things, packed up their necessities and started their journey together (here’s the proof if you don’t believe me).

You can grow as a couple, in addition to growing as a person, as well as experiencing what this world has to offer with someone to share the memories with you later down the road. When you travel as a couple, you see each other when you are at your most vulnerable. You are seeing them when they are living in the moment, when they are the most exhausted, and the two of you find the meaning of true love along the way.

1.You’ll both be lost before you are found.

When you two start your journey, your starting point is more than likely home. This is a place where you are comfortable and a place where you know your way around. When you travel, you are constantly lost (even with a GPS) and you are both out of your comfort zone. This is when you will see each other in the rawest form, exposed with the true emotion of frustration across your faces. This is a point that you will get to faster if you two are driving in an unfamiliar place. Fighting when lost is completely different from fighting over leaving the toilet seat up or staying out too late. You both need to cooperate and work together in order to get to your destination.

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Once you do though, you both lay in bed and relax. You cool off a bit from whatever mean words you said while wandering around and both agree that some food would be best. Over dinner, the aggravation of the wrong turns shifts into giggles and then laughter. Then it will hit you two. You are in a completely different country. You are far away from home and are actually here. Later down the road, the tales of being lost will become anecdotes that you tell your friends and family. With more and more trips, the two of you will learn how to deal with each other’s actions caused by frustration and it will go smoother. Notice I didn’t say smoothly because you both will still be lost with each country you visit. Trust me.

2.You’ll both be alive and present.

Being in a different country usually makes one present. By that I mean that there are usually no distractions electronics wise, with the exception of a camera and the occasional Wifi hot spots you can pick up. During our travels, we typically just purchase a paper map at the local gas station, relying on that and street signs. Sadly, the world now revolves around what is happening online. We are constantly checking our messages, newsfeeds, and making sure everyone knows what we are doing. Let’s be honest, you are probably reading this on some sort of mobile device. This is just how life at home is now. Being around the world, we usually don’t have enough for hotels, flights, cars, sights, and cell phone plans. Guess which one is mostly likely to be cut off the most important to fund list?

Without that distraction, you are forcing your brains to actually focus on the here and now. Most importantly, you focus on the person you are right next to. You notice the small things they do, the smiles they crack at the random tourists around, the smug look they get when they are pushed in a crowd, and the foreign words that make them giggle. You see them scream when they fly down a rope on a zip line, their face light up when you both walk in an unfamiliar city, and their hand squeeze your hand when you are late for a train. Equally as important, they see you and all of your actions. You both are living and experiencing life together without an electronic extension to your body.

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3.You’ll make memories that will last a lifetime.

With that all being said, you keep these memories close to your heart and soul because you have fully lived them. You both vividly remember the places you were, the people you met, and the things you saw. It will be great when you are both sitting on your porch decades later, reminiscing on what a life you both have lived.

4.You’ll both learn to love.

You both learn how to love, and not just each other on a deeper level, but you also learn which places you love over the places that you liked. You learn which dishes you absolutely fell in love with and want to make when you get home. You both have had countless discussions over meals about which countries (of the ones you’ve visited so far) you two would live in if you won the lottery. Furthermore, you both have a list of which country was the best so far. You both fall in love with the beauty of the world and all it has to offer, in addition to falling deeper in love with each other.

5.You’ll find each other as a source of comfort.

Their familiar face gives you comfort when you are out of your comfort zone, when you don’t understand anything on the menu, when the street signs are on the building instead of on street poles, and you don’t even see letters on the shop signs. Their embrace calms your nerves when you are homesick. The very thought that they will stay at your side with each border you cross, each sea you sail, and everywhere else is a comfort. You learn that this is the kind of love you won’t ever want to give up because it is the truest form.

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Featured photo credit: Follow me to Rome Murad Osmann via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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