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We Will Never Grow Apart: Why Long-Distance Friendships Make The Strongest Bonds

We Will Never Grow Apart: Why Long-Distance Friendships Make The Strongest Bonds

Friendship. What is friendship? Friendship is a bond created when you meet a stranger inside your radar. Your radar is defined as the scope in which you detect other strangers. The instant bond and vibe that is created is what causes friendship to be formed. It is the bond that is there to support you when you are sad and the bond that is there to share your happiness. It is the bond that interlinks two different life together into one.

These are the bonds that will make you chuckle like a kid whenever you think of your best friend. The kind that makes you feel glad you are alive. This bond that is shared, it’s what makes you both key components in each other’s lives. You will feel grateful for the existence of each other and never regret your friendship.

However, this friendship may be put to the mettle when certain circumstances occur. You and your friend may graduate from school and your best friend moves back to his hometown or maybe your best friend migrated to another country. The bond you have forged with your best friend is now being tested.

I was at a dining restaurant just a few weeks back. It was a posh restaurant with an exquisite design. I looked around as we were brought to our seats to be seated. As soon as I sat down, the aroma of fried cutlet chicken drifted and danced around me. It reminded me of my best friend immediately.

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His favorite food is fried chicken cutlet and he loved it. He always chooses fried chicken cutlet if there was a choice. I still remembered how we made a bet on how many days he can go without eating fried cutlet chicken. He failed and I won myself 2 pieces of home made fried cutlet chicken. It was good and I sat there going through memory lane. I immediately texted him and said “I miss you” and continued with my meal. I knew he will not be able to reply since he sleeps very early and it was 10 pm for him. I miss him and longed to meet him again and during that process, our bond grew even stronger.

Here are a few of the many concepts I’ve learned during our long distance friendship.

1. You will cherish them even more

When your schedules and timezone clash, it will be hard for you to spend time with your best friend. Every time any opportunity arises, you will cherish this bond even more as you have put in extra effort to secure it.

2. You have precious memories that cannot be forgotten

All the memories you forged together will never be forgotten. Your memories that are shared with your friend are always so precious and valuable that they can never be forgotten.

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3. Every little incident reminds you of them

Once, my best friend migrated over to japan. He used a certain hair wax that has a distinctive fragrance to it. Even today I am still constantly being reminded of him whenever I smell that distinctive smell.

4. They will always be there for you

They will always be there to hear you out. Even though they are not beside you, their hearts will always have you in it. You will always share your biggest problems with your best friend and they will definitely help you solve it, one way or another.

5. You will never forget their laughter

Despite the distance between you and your best friend, you will never forget about your best friend’s laughter. The weird chuckle they makes or the hysterical high pitch laughter, it will always be deeply etched in your mind.

6. You will always remember to buy them gifts

It could be a birthday gift or a souvenir you got from another country. They will always be in one of your top priorities. You will never forget to sent them a present when you go overseas.

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7. You will never forget their birthdays

No need for social media to remind you of their birthday. Their birthday are stored in your heart automatically. You will have a clock in your head that rings whenever their birthday is approaching soon.

8. Sending a letter is a common thing

Sending an letter to your best friend, half way across the world, is the primary way you communicate with each other. You make it a point to convey your feelings across to them using physical writing.

9. You will always look forward to the day you meet-up

Every conversation will end with you asking your best friend to meet-up soon. You will always look forward to the day where you and your best friend will meet again.

10. You will remember their favorite food

I remember my best friend’s favorite food. It is fried cutlet chicken. You will never forget their favorite food and will always be reminded of them when you see the favorite food.

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11. You will feel grateful and blissful

Every time you are feeling down, you know that somewhere across the globe, your best friend is there to support you and you will feel extremely blissful inside. You will feel glad that you have a friend that will always be there for you.

No matter what happens, your best friend will never ever judge you, dislike you, hate you or even hold a grudge against you. This is because the friendship you have forged is too valuable to receive such treatment. You will feel that nothing is impossible and one day, you will eventually meet up with your best friend and have a blast together.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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