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7 Reasons Why You Should Consider Giving Birth At Home

7 Reasons Why You Should Consider Giving Birth At Home

Before hospitals, mothers gave birth in the comfort of their own homes and their babies grew up just fine. Is it safe to do it today? What are the risks? What if there are complications? What if something goes wrong? Is home birth okay for a first-time mum? You obviously have a ton of questions on your mind. As a first-time mum, I had the same questions on my mind before finally giving birth safely to my daughter at home.

Here is why you should consider giving birth at home.

1. The comfort of your home

Unlike a hospital birth, you are not confined to a little space — you have the whole house to yourself. You can wear whatever you feel like wearing that makes you comfortable. It’s your home, every food is allowed and you can eat whatever you want to eat at whatever time. You also have the chance to practice a variety of labour positions to find out what works best for you. For me, lying on the floor and climbing up and down the stairs helped to ease my contractions. I have no idea how I would have done that in the hospital. Hospital births are more controlled. You are usually confined to a bed and your food and fluid intake is limited. At home, you know where the kitchen is in case you are craving for anything. After all, you are only pregnant and not sick.

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2. Less risk of intervention

Research shows that moms who planned to give birth at home ended up with fewer interventions, such as episiotomies and C-sections, compared with a group of equally low-risk women who had planned hospital deliveries. In my opinion, this is as a result of time management. Instead of letting the birth happen naturally, they want to speed up the process or make it happen at a desirable time for the doctor or mother. Planned home births have been associated with less maternal infection and fewer maternal interventions, including electronic fetal heart rate monitoring and episiotomy, along with fewer third- or fourth-degree lacerations and tears.

During pre-natal care, your health care practitioner will walk you through all the potential “what if’s” and discuss a backup plan with you. They have a good system in place for transfer to a hospital when necessary.

3. No restrictions

A home birth offers you the freedom to choose the number of people you want to share your precious moment with. Your husband can be there, your older children, your mum, siblings, your friends, and even the dog can be there if you like. At the hospital, this can be restricted to two or three people maximum. You can also have a more private birth, without the interruptions of hospital staff, and you won’t have to endure routine medical intervention.

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4. You are in control

Unlike a hospital birth, your partner is given the opportunity to be involved — he may catch the baby and cut the cord if he likes. You also have the opportunity to hold your baby right from the womb. There is no time constraint, you can hold and bond with your baby as long as you want. In some hospitals, the baby is cleaned and evaluated immediately after delivery, preventing mothers from spending time with the baby right from womb. The first hour after birth is when the baby is most awake and alert. It’s the perfect time to bond by holding your baby skin-to-skin on your chest and to start breastfeeding, which helps the uterus contract and reduces bleeding immediately after delivery.

If you settle with a hospital birth, when writing your birth plan or discussing the delivery with your doctor or midwife, specify how you want it to go. If you want to hold your baby right from the womb before they take him or her away from your sight to clean and evaluate, be sure to let them know. Otherwise, you risk missing out on that precious moment. For a home birth, cleaning and evaluation is done in your arms.

5. You experience a natural labor

If you desire to go through labor in a natural way, with no epidural and pain medications, a home birth should be something to consider. However, if there’s any chance you might want an epidural or other anesthetic pain meds, you won’t be able to order those in at home. If you want to remain in control of your body as much as possible, be an active participant throughout labor, and have minimal routine interventions, such as continuous electronic monitoring, then a natural, unmedicated approach to labor and birth will suit you best. If you choose to go this route, you accept the potential for pain and discomfort as part of giving birth. But that shouldn’t be something you can’t bear. Before epidurals, women gave birth without. Our bodies release endorphins during childbirth which serves as a natural pain relief. With the right preparation and support, mothers often feel empowered and deeply satisfied by natural childbirth. Unlike pain meds, natural childbirth techniques are not invasive, so there’s little potential for harm or side effects for you or your baby.

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6. You have the midwife all to yourself

During a home birth, you have your health care provider all to yourself. Your midwife is 100% focused on you and your baby. The midwife will be with you to provide support and help you through labor. They carry the same kind of equipment and medication you would find at the birth centre. Your midwife will also follow up to visit you and give you lactation advise after the birth. During the labor, your midwife will periodically monitor your temperature, pulse, blood pressure, and your baby’s heart rate. After the baby arrives, your health care provider will examine your newborn and do all the paperwork while you relax and enjoy your little one.

 7. Giving birth at home means lower cost

A home birth is relatively low-cost compared to a hospital birth.  A planned home birth might cost about one-third of the hospital birth’s cost. You can save a lot of money by choosing a home birth and invest it into baby’s essentials, such as strollers, cribs, clothing, and all the other necessities to make your adorable baby’s life on earth more comfortable.

Be mindful that home birth is not right for everyone. Your health care provider will caution against a home birth if you have diabetes, chronic hypertension, a seizure disorder, or any chronic medical condition. If you previously had a C-section or have developed a pregnancy complication, such as preeclampsia, or if you are pregnant with multiples or your baby is in breech position, a home birth might not be right for you.

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If you’re not sure whether you have medical or obstetrical problems that would keep you from having a home birth, contact a home birth provider and share your concerns over the phone. If there are no obvious reasons to rule out a home birth, you can make an appointment for a first prenatal visit. At that visit, the caregiver will do a detailed history and physical exam, as well as the usual set of lab tests. They’ll continue to assess your situation throughout your pregnancy and during labor, birth, and the postpartum period. If you’re a healthy expectant mother having a normal pregnancy and you have no medical or obstetrical risk factors, giving birth at home may be something to consider.

Featured photo credit: New born baby Leo via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 22, 2019

14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 27% of children under the age of 18 are living with a single parent.[1] That’s over 1/4th of the U.S. population.There is a common misconception that children who grow up in single parent homes are not as successful as children living in two-parent homes.

One crucial detail that was often left out of studies when comparing single and two-parent homes was the stability of the household. There is a correlation between family structure and family stability, but this study shows that children who grow up in stable single-parent homes do as well as those in married households in terms of academic abilities and behavior.

But providing stability is easier said than done. With only one adult to act as a parent, some tasks are inherently more challenging. However, there are a few helpful things you can do to make the parenting journey a little easier for yourself and stay sane while doing it.

1. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

Before anything else can be done, you must be caring for your own needs adequately. Only when you are feeling well-rested and healthy can you be at your best for your children.

Many parents tend to put their kids’ needs first and their owns last, but that will result in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy. Make time to eat regularly and healthfully, get plenty of rest, and squeeze in exercise whenever you can. Even a short walk around the neighborhood will help your body get much-needed movement and fresh air.

Your children depend on you, and it’s up to you to make sure that you are well-equipped and ready to take on that responsibility.

2. Join Forces with Other Single Parents

At times, it may seem like you’re the only person who knows what it’s like to be a single parent. However, the statistics say that there are many others who know exactly what you’re going through.

Find single parents locally, through your kid’s school, extracurricular activities, or even an app. There are also numerous online communities that can offer support and advice, through Facebook or sites like Single Mom Nation.

Although single moms make up the majority of single parents, there are more than 2.6 million single dads in the U.S. A great way to connect is through Meetup. Other single parents will more than happy to arrange babysitting swaps, playdates, and carpools.

Join forces in order to form mutually beneficial relationships.

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3. Build a Community

In addition to finding support with other single parents, also build a community comprised of families of all different types. Rather than focus solely on the single parent aspect of your identity, look for parents and kids who share other things in common.

Join a playgroup, get plugged in at a church, or get to know the parents of the kids involved in the same extracurricular activities. Having a community of a variety of people and families will bring diversity and excitement into your and your kids’ lives.

4. Accept Help

Don’t try to be a superhero and do it all yourself. There are probably people in your life who care about you and your kids and want to help you. Let them know what types of things would be most appreciated, whether it’s bringing meals once a week, helping with rides to school, or giving you time to yourself.

There is no shame in asking for help and accepting assistance from loved ones. You will not be perceived as weak or incompetent. You are being a good parent by being resourceful and allowing others to give you a much-needed break.

5. Get Creative with Childcare

Raising a child on a single income is a challenge, with the high cost of daycares, nannies, and other conventional childcare services. More affordable options are possible if you go a less traditional route.

If you have space and live in a college town, offer a college student housing in exchange for regular childcare. Or swap kids with other single parents so that your kids have friends to play with while the parents get time to themselves.

When I was younger, my parents had a group of five family friends, and all of the children would rotate to a different house each day of the week, during the summer months. The kids would have a great time playing with each other, and the parents’ job becomes a lot easier. That’s what you would call a win-win situation.

6. Plan Ahead for Emergencies

As a single parent, a backup plan or two is a must in emergency situations. Make a list of people you know you can call in a moment’s notice. There will be times in which you need help, and it’s important to know ahead of time who you can rely on.

Look into whether or not your area offers emergency babysitting services or a drop-in daycare. Knowing who will be able to care for your child in the event of an emergency can relieve one potential source of anxiety in stressful situations.

7. Create a Routine

Routines are crucial for young children because knowing what to expect gives them a semblance of control. This is even more important when in a single parent home.

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If the child travels between homes or has multiple caretakers, life can seem extremely chaotic and unpredictable. Establish a routine and schedule for your child as much as possible. This can include bedtime, before/after school, chores, meal times, and even a weekend routine.

Having a routine does not mean things cannot change. It is merely a default schedule to fall back on when no additional events or activities are going on. When your children know what to expect, they will be less resistant because they know what to expect, and days will run much more smoothly.

8. Be Consistent with Rules and Discipline

If your child has multiple caretakers, such as another parent, grandparent, or babysitter, communicate clearly on how discipline will be handled. Talk to your ex, if you are sharing custody, as well as any other caretakers about the rules and the agreed-upon approach to discipline.

When a child realizes that certain rules can be bent with certain people, he/she will use it to their advantage, causing additional issues with limits, behavior, and discipline down the road.

This article may help you to discipline your child better:

How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

9. Stay Positive

Everyone has heard the saying, “Mind over matter.” But there really is so much power behind your mentality. It can change your perspective and make a difficult situation so much better.

Your kids will be able to detect even the smallest shift in your attitude. When the responsibilities of motherhood are overwhelming, stay focused on the positive things in your life, such as your friends and family. This will produce a much more stable home environment.

Maintain your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to be silly. Look towards the future and the great things that are still to come for you and your family. Rediscover and redefine your family values.

10. Move Past the Guilt

In a single parent home, it is impossible to act as both parents, regardless of how hard you try. Let go of the things that you cannot do as a single parent, and instead, think of the great things you ARE able to provide for your children.

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Leave behind the notion that life would be easier or better with two parents. This is simply not true. There is a multitude of pros and cons to all family dynamics, and the one you are providing for your kids now is the one that they need.

Don’t get bogged down by guilt or regret. Take control of your life and be the best parent you can by being present and engaged with them on a daily basis.

11. Answer Questions Honestly

Your kids may have questions about why their home situation is different from many of their friends. When asked, don’t sugarcoat the situation or give them an answer that is not accurate.

Depending on their age, take this opportunity to explain the truth of what happened and how the current circumstances came about. Not all families have two parents, whether that is due to divorce, death, or whatever else life brings.

Don’t give more detail than necessary or talk badly about the other parent. But strive to be truthful and honest. Your children will benefit more from your candor than a made-up story.

12. Treat Kids Like Kids

In the absence of a partner, it can be tempting to rely on your children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But your kids are not equipped to play this role for you.

There are many details within an adult relationship that children are not able to understand or process, and it will only cause confusion and resentment.

Do not take out your anger on your kids. Separate your emotional needs from your role as a mother. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, look for adult friends or family members that you can talk to about your issues.

13. Find Role Models

Find positive role models of the opposite sex for your child. It’s crucial that your child does not form negative associations with an entire gender of people.

Find close friends or family members that would be willing to spend one-on-one time with your kids. Encourage them to form meaningful relationships with people that you trust and that they can look up to.

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Role models can make a huge difference in the path that a child decides to take, so be intentional about the ones that you put in your kids’ lives.

14. Be Affectionate and Give Praise

Your children need your affection and praise on a daily basis. Engage with your kids as often as possible by playing with them, going on outings, and encouraging open dialogue.

Affirm them in the things that they are doing well, no matter how small. Praise their efforts, rather than their achievements. This will inspire them to continue to put forth hard work and not give up when success is not achieved.

Rather than spending money on gifts, spend time and effort in making lasting memories.

Final Thoughts

Being a single parent is a challenging responsibility to take on. Without the help of a partner to fall back on, single parents have a lot more to take on.

However, studies show that growing up in a single parent home does not have a negative effect on achievement in school. As long as the family is a stable and safe environment, kids are able to excel and do well in life.

Use these tips in order to be a reliable and capable parent for your kids, while maintaining your own well-being and sanity.

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Featured photo credit: Eye for Ebony via unsplash.com

Reference

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