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7 Reasons Why You Should Consider Giving Birth At Home

7 Reasons Why You Should Consider Giving Birth At Home

Before hospitals, mothers gave birth in the comfort of their own homes and their babies grew up just fine. Is it safe to do it today? What are the risks? What if there are complications? What if something goes wrong? Is home birth okay for a first-time mum? You obviously have a ton of questions on your mind. As a first-time mum, I had the same questions on my mind before finally giving birth safely to my daughter at home.

Here is why you should consider giving birth at home.

1. The comfort of your home

Unlike a hospital birth, you are not confined to a little space — you have the whole house to yourself. You can wear whatever you feel like wearing that makes you comfortable. It’s your home, every food is allowed and you can eat whatever you want to eat at whatever time. You also have the chance to practice a variety of labour positions to find out what works best for you. For me, lying on the floor and climbing up and down the stairs helped to ease my contractions. I have no idea how I would have done that in the hospital. Hospital births are more controlled. You are usually confined to a bed and your food and fluid intake is limited. At home, you know where the kitchen is in case you are craving for anything. After all, you are only pregnant and not sick.

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2. Less risk of intervention

Research shows that moms who planned to give birth at home ended up with fewer interventions, such as episiotomies and C-sections, compared with a group of equally low-risk women who had planned hospital deliveries. In my opinion, this is as a result of time management. Instead of letting the birth happen naturally, they want to speed up the process or make it happen at a desirable time for the doctor or mother. Planned home births have been associated with less maternal infection and fewer maternal interventions, including electronic fetal heart rate monitoring and episiotomy, along with fewer third- or fourth-degree lacerations and tears.

During pre-natal care, your health care practitioner will walk you through all the potential “what if’s” and discuss a backup plan with you. They have a good system in place for transfer to a hospital when necessary.

3. No restrictions

A home birth offers you the freedom to choose the number of people you want to share your precious moment with. Your husband can be there, your older children, your mum, siblings, your friends, and even the dog can be there if you like. At the hospital, this can be restricted to two or three people maximum. You can also have a more private birth, without the interruptions of hospital staff, and you won’t have to endure routine medical intervention.

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4. You are in control

Unlike a hospital birth, your partner is given the opportunity to be involved — he may catch the baby and cut the cord if he likes. You also have the opportunity to hold your baby right from the womb. There is no time constraint, you can hold and bond with your baby as long as you want. In some hospitals, the baby is cleaned and evaluated immediately after delivery, preventing mothers from spending time with the baby right from womb. The first hour after birth is when the baby is most awake and alert. It’s the perfect time to bond by holding your baby skin-to-skin on your chest and to start breastfeeding, which helps the uterus contract and reduces bleeding immediately after delivery.

If you settle with a hospital birth, when writing your birth plan or discussing the delivery with your doctor or midwife, specify how you want it to go. If you want to hold your baby right from the womb before they take him or her away from your sight to clean and evaluate, be sure to let them know. Otherwise, you risk missing out on that precious moment. For a home birth, cleaning and evaluation is done in your arms.

5. You experience a natural labor

If you desire to go through labor in a natural way, with no epidural and pain medications, a home birth should be something to consider. However, if there’s any chance you might want an epidural or other anesthetic pain meds, you won’t be able to order those in at home. If you want to remain in control of your body as much as possible, be an active participant throughout labor, and have minimal routine interventions, such as continuous electronic monitoring, then a natural, unmedicated approach to labor and birth will suit you best. If you choose to go this route, you accept the potential for pain and discomfort as part of giving birth. But that shouldn’t be something you can’t bear. Before epidurals, women gave birth without. Our bodies release endorphins during childbirth which serves as a natural pain relief. With the right preparation and support, mothers often feel empowered and deeply satisfied by natural childbirth. Unlike pain meds, natural childbirth techniques are not invasive, so there’s little potential for harm or side effects for you or your baby.

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6. You have the midwife all to yourself

During a home birth, you have your health care provider all to yourself. Your midwife is 100% focused on you and your baby. The midwife will be with you to provide support and help you through labor. They carry the same kind of equipment and medication you would find at the birth centre. Your midwife will also follow up to visit you and give you lactation advise after the birth. During the labor, your midwife will periodically monitor your temperature, pulse, blood pressure, and your baby’s heart rate. After the baby arrives, your health care provider will examine your newborn and do all the paperwork while you relax and enjoy your little one.

 7. Giving birth at home means lower cost

A home birth is relatively low-cost compared to a hospital birth.  A planned home birth might cost about one-third of the hospital birth’s cost. You can save a lot of money by choosing a home birth and invest it into baby’s essentials, such as strollers, cribs, clothing, and all the other necessities to make your adorable baby’s life on earth more comfortable.

Be mindful that home birth is not right for everyone. Your health care provider will caution against a home birth if you have diabetes, chronic hypertension, a seizure disorder, or any chronic medical condition. If you previously had a C-section or have developed a pregnancy complication, such as preeclampsia, or if you are pregnant with multiples or your baby is in breech position, a home birth might not be right for you.

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If you’re not sure whether you have medical or obstetrical problems that would keep you from having a home birth, contact a home birth provider and share your concerns over the phone. If there are no obvious reasons to rule out a home birth, you can make an appointment for a first prenatal visit. At that visit, the caregiver will do a detailed history and physical exam, as well as the usual set of lab tests. They’ll continue to assess your situation throughout your pregnancy and during labor, birth, and the postpartum period. If you’re a healthy expectant mother having a normal pregnancy and you have no medical or obstetrical risk factors, giving birth at home may be something to consider.

Featured photo credit: New born baby Leo via flickr.com

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Published on September 21, 2020

The Danger of Overscheduling Your Kids

The Danger of Overscheduling Your Kids

I am a parent of three children aged 8, 6, and 6. Like many parents, I struggle with knowing the right balance of activities for them. I don’t want my kids to miss out on opportunities to play sports and participate in activities that will enhance their lives and help them grow as individuals. However, I also don’t want them to become overscheduled kids, to the extent that they get worn out and stressed out.

There is a balance in providing activities for our children and overscheduling them. The tendency for the latter is prevalent these days. Our lives — and the lives of our kids — are increasingly overscheduled and overworked. Thus, we need to understand the dangers of having overscheduled kids and how to prevent this from happening in our own families.

What’s Wrong with Overscheduling Your Kids?

1. Overscheduling Can Burn Out Our Kids

When our kids are on the go and scheduled to the max from a young age, their potential to get burned out before reaching high school is quite high. The New York Times reported some research on burnout and found that burnout with kids relates to their workload, along with their parents’ propensity to experience it.[1] This means that overworked children are more likely to get burned out than others. Similarly, overscheduled parents tend to have overscheduled kids more often than not.

Burnout

When a person is burned out, they feel overwhelmed and exhausted by what others expect them to get done daily. Children who are involved in too many activities with little to no downtime have a high chance of experiencing burnout. When parents place too many expectations on their kids, they also have an increased potential to burn out.

If you get the sense that your child is feeling overworked or overwhelmed by their daily activities, you need to know which ones can be cut back. If they have too many activities outside of school work, for instance, then that is one area that likely needs to be downsized.

An overworked child will present various symptoms like moodiness, irritability, crankiness, despondency, anger, stomach aches, headaches, rebellion, etc. Cutting back their activities will help to relieve their stress and reduce the said burnout signs. If your kid has severe burnout symptoms, though, then professional help from a pediatrician or therapist for children should be sought.

Downtime

Downtime is key to helping relieve burnout. If children don’t have free time during the day to have any rest, they are more likely to become burned out than others. Downtime means unorganized free time to do what they enjoy or relax. Cut back your kids’ extra-curricular activities if they don’t have downtime in their schedule.

Here are more tips on creating downtime for the children: How to Create Downtime for Kids.

2. Overscheduling Kills Playtime and Creativity

Kids need time to be kids. When their schedules are filled every day with activities like organized ballet, soccer, and music lessons, and they only take a break for dinner and bedtime, then they are overscheduled. They need to have free time after school to relax and play. When they don’t have that and proceed from one scheduled activity to the next, they are missing out on playtime.

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Playtime is crucial to child development. If they cannot get enough time to play, then their ability to develop their creativity decreases. The Genius of Play explains that there are six major developmental benefits that children get from playtime:[2]

  • Creativity
  • Social skill development
  • Cognitive development
  • Physical development (i.e., balance, coordination)
  • Communication skills
  • Emotional development

If children don’t have time to play because they are always on-the-go, then they are missing out on the developmental benefits of play.

Children need downtime after school so that they can unwind, play, and decompress. Research from the Journal of Early Childhood Development and Care showed that kids need to play to deal with anxiety, stress, and worry.[3] Playtime provides an outlet for them to manage these emotions in a healthy manner and helps with the development of their creativity.

Children need free time to play every day. Fifteen minutes at recess is not enough. They need time for it after school, at home, outside of the constraints of scheduled activities.

Solution

Ensure that your child has time to play after school. This is especially important for young children who greatly benefit from playing. Limit organized activities so that your child is not scheduled every day and can play after school. If they have an activity every hour, then it doesn’t allow for playtime.

3. Overscheduling Causes Stress and Pressure

When kids are overscheduled because their parents are so intent on having high-performing children, then they will feel stressed. Parental pressure upon a child to do well in academics, music, multiple sports, and religious studies is a reality for many kids. The children scheduled in all of these activities can often feel stress and pressure, especially when they are expected to succeed in all of them.

It is hard enough for kids to be good or succeed at a single activity. For a parent to overschedule their child and expect superior performance in various activities, that is a recipe for a stressed-out child.

Solution

Parents should not schedule kids in multiple activities with the expectation of superior performance in all. They should also consider the child’s interests. If the child is not interested in one activity, then they are likely to feel stressed and pressured to do it.

For example, if Suzy has been taking piano lessons for four years, and she no longer enjoys learning the instrument, then perhaps it is time to take a break. If Suzy is forced to continue with the lessons and daily practices, then she may feel pressured to continue performing simply because her mom wants her to do so. This can lead Suzy to resent her mother for forcing her to keep on doing something that she doesn’t like anymore.

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Let your child help in selecting the activities that they get involved in. Also, put a cap on the number of activities they are doing. If they have a different activity every weekday, then they are likely overscheduled.

Kids need downtime and time to play, too. If they need to do a new activity every day, that downtime is diminished, considering the time at home or outside of the scheduled activities is limited. This limited time is then filled with homework, mealtime, and bedtime prep. Eliminating activities several days a week will allow the child to have some time to play freely. The younger the kid is, the more time they need playtime. As they get older, they can take on more activities; however, under the age of 13, playing daily is a must for children.

4. Healthy Eating Falls by the Wayside

Any parent who’s busy chauffeuring multiple kids to different activities after school knows how tempting fast food can become. Fast food, however, leads to less healthy food choices. French fries and hamburgers — the staple combo in most fast-food joints — cannot help your child thrive nutritionally.

When families are overscheduled, they tend to go for easy and quick meals. When rushed, many of us make poor food choices because we aren’t taking the time to think about a meal’s nutritional value and a balanced diet for our children.

5. Family Mealtimes Become a Thing of the Past

When we are taking our kids to sports and other extra-curricular activities that fall during dinnertime, the family often misses out on sharing a meal at home.

This is true in our own home. There are certain nights of the week that we have practices, and so we either eat together early (if possible) or eat separately, depending on what our schedules allow.

There is so much value in having family dinners. It provides an opportunity for family members to discuss their day, including their work and school activities. It is a time when technology is set aside so that everyone can truly focus on communicating with one another and catching up on what is happening in each other’s lives. When a kid’s activities are scheduled every evening, then that family time at the dining table gets lost. Dinnertime becomes a thing of the past as we overschedule kids and ourselves.

Try learning more about family time here: How to Maximize Family Time? 13 Simple Ways You Can Try Immediately.

Solution

Assess our schedule during the week to ensure that there’s always time for dinner with the family. Make it a point to establish a dinnertime schedule for the evenings that you do not have prior engagements scheduled. Remember: the time that you have with your kids under your roof is fleeting. Before long, they will be grownups and start living on their own. You need not dismiss or minimize the opportunity to bond with your children over meals.

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Having family mealtimes also allows you to make excellent food choices. This way, parents can create balanced and healthy meals and teach their children about the importance of eating good food for their bodies.

How to Turn Things Around?

1. Fix the Displaced Ambitions

Parents with overscheduled kids often mean well. They want their children to succeed, so they give them every chance to make it happen. They sign them up for various lessons, sports, and activities that may help the kids find success in life.

In other cases, the parent probably didn’t get such opportunities when they were young and felt that they missed out on many things. Hence, they provide those missed opportunities to their kids during their own childhood.

Carla is an example of such a parent. Carla always wanted to take dance and ballet classes as a child. She heard her friends talk about dance classes and performances, and they would even bring recital photos to school, showing their beautiful, detailed costumes. Carla wanted to be in those dance classes and learn ballet and have the opportunity to perform in a beautiful costume in front of an audience. Unfortunately, her family could not afford to give her that opportunity.

When Carla gave birth to a baby girl, she had visions of her little one growing big enough to take dance, ballet, and even tap classes someday. She was looking forward to dressing her daughter in dance costumes and watching her take lessons and eventually performing in recitals. When Carla’s daughter Anna was old enough to enroll at a dance class at four years old, she was thrilled. However, after a few months, it became clear that Anna was not enjoying these classes. She would cry before every lesson, begging Carla to let her stay home and not go to class. Her daughter had no interest in learning to dance.

In truth, it happens to many parents. They would enroll their kid in an activity that they wanted to do as a child but never got to try. Unfortunately, a parent’s interest is not always the same as that of their kids’. The child may humor mom or dad for some time and do the activity out of compliance. But if the child does not enjoy it anymore, they will eventually make things clear to their parents.

Parents should listen to their children. If the activity is something that they do not enjoy doing, ask the children what they think they would like to do, and then eliminate activities that they are not into. Similarly, teach them commitment by finishing a program, but don’t enroll them again in the same class if they absolutely do not want to do it.

Let the kids try different activities at a young age. Sometimes they don’t know if they like something until they try it out.

2. Try Clinics of Camps Before Committing

Don’t enroll your child in three sports at the same time to see which one they like or excel at. Doing so will make your kid overscheduled. Instead, you can use the summer break or preseason camps or clinics to try a variety of activities they are interested in.

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As an example, all three of my children said that they wanted to do lacrosse. We had already tried soccer, and it was not successful for two out of three of them. They would rather chase butterflies down the field or play tag than actually participate in their games. Therefore, before committing to lacrosse and spending a great deal of money on their gear, I signed them up for a sample clinic. It was a one-day program that intended to expose children to the sport and see if they would perhaps enjoy playing it. I was surprised to find that the three kids enjoyed lacrosse, so we signed up for the season. It was nice to be able to see them try out the sport in a clinic before committing to an entire season.

Most towns and cities have parks and recreation department. This is often a good place to check for clinics and camps for various activities. Our local department even offers art and dance classes. Most of them meet between two and four times total, so the children can get some exposure to the activity before signing them up at a private facility for a more long-term commitment.

3. Take an Inventory of Your Weekly Activities

Often, we do an activity without reflecting on how much we are already committed to doing each week. Before we commit to any more activities, we must be willing to look at everything that each family member does. Every child’s commitment is another responsibility for the parent as well. Parents must take children to and from each practice, so you need to consider the drive time for any activity.

For instance, if each of my three kids signed up for three different activities each week, I would be running myself ragged. Three activities for three kids means taking them to nine activities during the week. That doesn’t include the games that will likely be scheduled on the weekends. Three activities for every child, therefore, is too much for our family.

If some practices overlap on the schedule, then you need two parents or responsible adults to transport the children to different locations. Before you sign them up for multiple activities, you need to factor downtime, stress levels, and your ability to take them to each activity in the equation.

Consider the following before your kids can commit to various activities:

  • What is the time commitment for the child each week? Do they have enough energy and stamina for the activities? Do they get enough downtime daily to prevent burnout?
  • Is practice time required outside of their scheduled team practices and games?
  • How long is the travel time for you as a parent, along with wait time during practices? Do you have time allowances for these activities in your own schedule?
  • Does the activity time conflict with other activities on the schedule? Will it eliminate family dinners on a regular basis?
  • Does the child really want to do the activity?
  • What is the motivation for signing up for the activity?
  • Is this activity or commitment going to cause a great deal of stress on the child or other family members?

Check out these time-management tips for parents: 10 Time Management Tips Every Busy Parent Needs to Know.

Get The Kids Active and Involved!

Despite everything, it does not mean that you shouldn’t sign your child up for different activities like sports, music, dance, karate, etc. They are all great activities that can help children develop a variety of valuable life skills. The goal is to enroll them in things that they genuinely enjoy and avoid overscheduling kids by not letting them sign up for too many activities at a time.

More Tips for Scheduling Kids’ Activities

Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

Reference

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