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This Is Why You Should Not Aim At A Happy Life Anymore

This Is Why You Should Not Aim At A Happy Life Anymore

Happiness is different things to different people. Philosophers believe happiness is about living a good life and flourishing, not simply defining the term as an emotion. Western culture leads us to believe that a happy life is full of money, cars, fame, and fancy clothes. Actually, happiness really comes about by living a meaningful life.

Eckhart Tolle, international best selling author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, explains in his blog:

“The more unconscious you are, the more you are identified with form. The essence of unconsciousness is this: identification with form, whether it is an external form (a situation, place, event or experience), a thought form or an emotion. The more attached to form, the more unsurrendered you are, and the more extreme, violent or harsh your experience.”

The more we attach ourselves to being happy and living a happy life, the more unhappy we become. A happy life is a by product of living a meaningful life. In order to live a meaningful life we must explore different ways to do so.

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1. Accept what is.

We perceive our own reality. We can fight our way through life or we can accept what’s happened. Upon acceptance, we can work out how to manage and learn from those challenging experiences.

2. Identify your values and beliefs.

Many of us don’t know our values or beliefs because we’ve never actually identified them. Take time, think it through, and write them down to create your own mission statement.

3. Don’t compromise those values and beliefs.

It’s important for us to stand up for what we believe in. Our values guide, motivate, and inspire us to change.

4. Maintain emotional flexibility.

People who live their lives with rigid rules and standards are setting themselves up for a lot of disappointment. The same can be said for people trying to live a happy life. By maintaining behavioural flexibility, we allow ourselves to be more open to change, which will effectively allow us to deal with it a whole lot better.

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5. Connect with nature.

Most of us live in concrete jungles. The closest we get to nature is a house plant. However, we should be connected to the world around us and try to become one with all living things. The deeper we dig ourselves into artificial lifestyles, the farther we are from connecting to a deeper meaning of life.

6. Find something that makes you tick.

Whether it’s your job or a hobby, find something that sings to you. Create purpose in what you do. Whatever you do should make you feel good!

7. Give back.

What are you doing to contribute to the greater good of humanity? There are thousands of volunteer opportunities out there. Just one-hour of your time per week or every fortnight can change someone else’s life forever.

8. Be grateful.

Gratitude is a way of being thankful for what you have. It also allows you to return the favour of kindness. A life without gratitude is not worth living. Take these following words of wisdom and run with them.

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Eckhart Tolle said, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

Oprah said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

Buddha said, “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.”

9. Use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to deal with difficult thoughts and painful feelings.

Dr Russ Harris, M.B.B.S., author of The Happiness Trap, takes a different approach when dealing with challenges. ACT gets it name from one of its core messages: accept what is out of your personal control, and commit to action that improves and enriches your life. The aim of ACT is to maximise human potential for a more meaningful life. I highly recommend reading his book!

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10. Know your strengths.

Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have or can’t do, think about what an amazing person you are, the things you are good at, and all the people that love you for it.

11. Don’t force a happy life.

We shouldn’t try to live a happy life because we think we’re supposed to. Happiness has been shoved down our throats for quite some time now, but it’s up to us to realize that’s really not what life is truly about.

Featured photo credit: Kenny Louie via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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