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This Is Why You Should Not Aim At A Happy Life Anymore

This Is Why You Should Not Aim At A Happy Life Anymore

Happiness is different things to different people. Philosophers believe happiness is about living a good life and flourishing, not simply defining the term as an emotion. Western culture leads us to believe that a happy life is full of money, cars, fame, and fancy clothes. Actually, happiness really comes about by living a meaningful life.

Eckhart Tolle, international best selling author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, explains in his blog:

“The more unconscious you are, the more you are identified with form. The essence of unconsciousness is this: identification with form, whether it is an external form (a situation, place, event or experience), a thought form or an emotion. The more attached to form, the more unsurrendered you are, and the more extreme, violent or harsh your experience.”

The more we attach ourselves to being happy and living a happy life, the more unhappy we become. A happy life is a by product of living a meaningful life. In order to live a meaningful life we must explore different ways to do so.

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1. Accept what is.

We perceive our own reality. We can fight our way through life or we can accept what’s happened. Upon acceptance, we can work out how to manage and learn from those challenging experiences.

2. Identify your values and beliefs.

Many of us don’t know our values or beliefs because we’ve never actually identified them. Take time, think it through, and write them down to create your own mission statement.

3. Don’t compromise those values and beliefs.

It’s important for us to stand up for what we believe in. Our values guide, motivate, and inspire us to change.

4. Maintain emotional flexibility.

People who live their lives with rigid rules and standards are setting themselves up for a lot of disappointment. The same can be said for people trying to live a happy life. By maintaining behavioural flexibility, we allow ourselves to be more open to change, which will effectively allow us to deal with it a whole lot better.

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5. Connect with nature.

Most of us live in concrete jungles. The closest we get to nature is a house plant. However, we should be connected to the world around us and try to become one with all living things. The deeper we dig ourselves into artificial lifestyles, the farther we are from connecting to a deeper meaning of life.

6. Find something that makes you tick.

Whether it’s your job or a hobby, find something that sings to you. Create purpose in what you do. Whatever you do should make you feel good!

7. Give back.

What are you doing to contribute to the greater good of humanity? There are thousands of volunteer opportunities out there. Just one-hour of your time per week or every fortnight can change someone else’s life forever.

8. Be grateful.

Gratitude is a way of being thankful for what you have. It also allows you to return the favour of kindness. A life without gratitude is not worth living. Take these following words of wisdom and run with them.

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Eckhart Tolle said, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

Oprah said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

Buddha said, “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.”

9. Use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to deal with difficult thoughts and painful feelings.

Dr Russ Harris, M.B.B.S., author of The Happiness Trap, takes a different approach when dealing with challenges. ACT gets it name from one of its core messages: accept what is out of your personal control, and commit to action that improves and enriches your life. The aim of ACT is to maximise human potential for a more meaningful life. I highly recommend reading his book!

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10. Know your strengths.

Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have or can’t do, think about what an amazing person you are, the things you are good at, and all the people that love you for it.

11. Don’t force a happy life.

We shouldn’t try to live a happy life because we think we’re supposed to. Happiness has been shoved down our throats for quite some time now, but it’s up to us to realize that’s really not what life is truly about.

Featured photo credit: Kenny Louie via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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