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Why Being Both Extroverted And Introverted Is Good For You

Why Being Both Extroverted And Introverted Is Good For You

Variety is the spice of life- and I believe that when you possess the characteristics of being both extroverted and introverted, you find yourself on the fast track to living a more balanced and successful life.

Growing up, I was known as “The girl with no filter”. I liked to talk a lot. I spoke my mind, considering any notion of whether the time and place rendered it appropriate, irrelevant. I loved being the center of attention. I cracked jokes and spoke loudly. I wanted to see and be seen. From psychologist Carl Jung’s perspective, I would be considered extroverted, through and through. I get my energy from being around people. I love public speaking and have no issues with walking into a crowded room full of strangers.

Jung coined the terms ‘extroverted’ and ‘introverted’ in the 1920s. Introverted people are defined as being shy and reticent. People with extroverted personalities are said to be outgoing and socially confident. Extroverts get their energy from being around other people. Introverts get their energy from being alone. However, we have to understand that we really the characteristics of both extroverts and introverts to survive. You can read more about Jung’s psychological types here.

We live in a high-speed, in-your-face society. We’re pressured to pursue things harder, better, faster, stronger (as the Daft Punk song explains). As we try to keep up, we’re riddled with social anxieties, depression and other mental illnesses. We need to slow down. But how do we face these challenges in a better way?

By being ambiverts! Sprinkle in some social stimulation and a dash of spending time alone, and- voila! You are now a more even-keeled, happy individual.

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In her eye-opening novel, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain examines how we live in a world dominated by extroverts. Extroverts are championed for being social and outgoing. We’re pushed to take centre-stage.

Upon reflection, as I grew older, I found that being the loud-mouthed social butterfly was starting to get tiring. I was sick of putting my foot in my mouth. I was literally sick after weekend benders. Making plans with everybody all the time became a chore. Some would call it a quarter-life crisis- I’d say it was time to grow up.

I would still say I’m an extrovert, but now I enjoy the blissful habits of being introverted, too. I stay in on weekends, I can’t get enough of reading a great book, and I’m far more in touch with my feelings and the feelings of others. I now proudly find myself to be both extroverted and introverted: an ambivert.

The more I learn, the more I realize the importance of emotional and behavioral flexibility. It allows you to connect with people from all walks of life, but more importantly: yourself.

Here’s why being an ambivert is good for you:

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1. You’re a phenomenal communicator.

Knowing when to slow down and listen, or ramp up and make your point, will make you a better leader, lover, and friend. It will also make you happier, and add more balance to your life.

2. You’re extremely adaptable to whatever is thrown your way.

You’re like an emotional chameleon, able to adapt to different scenarios by calling on your knowledge of how both extroverts and introverts tend to act.

3. You don’t fear change.

The only thing constant in life is change. You embrace the uncertain because you know you can handle it.

4. You love a good social outing, but also love quiet time at home just the same.

You feel energized when you’re with people you care about, but you also understand the importance of recharging with quiet time when you get home.

5. You know when to speak up.

You know the importance of standing up for what you believe in.

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6. You know when not to speak up.

You understand that in some situations it’s best to be a passive listener and sit quietly while the other person speaks.

7. You’re assertive, but not too overbearing.

You know what it takes to get things done, but you’re not pushy or rude about it.

8. You know when to observe and when to respond.

You are successful in many social situations because you are able to read cues and be an active listener. This helps you to know what kind of behavior is appropriate in different situations.

9.You know when to push and when to stand back.

Sometimes you have to let people know you mean business, but you’re okay with admitting your faults and standing down in a conflict.

10. You’re flexible.

Not the kind of flexible where you can touch your toes (but maybe this fits you too)- but you’re able to go with the flow and not get wound up in taking things personally or making it all about you.

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11. You’re emotionally intelligent.

Because you’re an ambivert, you know both sides of the story; you are aware of other people’s feelings, as well as your own.

12. You’re a people-pleaser, but you also know when to say “no”.

Making other people feel good makes you feel good, but you also know when someone is trying to take advantage of you.

13. You know that being both extroverted and introverted is badass.

To learn more about why being an introvert is awesome, watch Cain’s TED talk, The Power of Introverts. To learn how to speak up and take on conflict, full-frontal, watch Margaret Heffernan’s talk, Dare to Disagree. 

Ambiversion is often overlooked and undervalues, but together we can share the beauty of being both extroverted and introverted- and make for a more ambiverted tomorrow!

Featured photo credit: Fisheye + Ringflash + Pub = via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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