Advertising
Advertising

Why Being Both Extroverted And Introverted Is Good For You

Why Being Both Extroverted And Introverted Is Good For You

Variety is the spice of life- and I believe that when you possess the characteristics of being both extroverted and introverted, you find yourself on the fast track to living a more balanced and successful life.

Growing up, I was known as “The girl with no filter”. I liked to talk a lot. I spoke my mind, considering any notion of whether the time and place rendered it appropriate, irrelevant. I loved being the center of attention. I cracked jokes and spoke loudly. I wanted to see and be seen. From psychologist Carl Jung’s perspective, I would be considered extroverted, through and through. I get my energy from being around people. I love public speaking and have no issues with walking into a crowded room full of strangers.

Jung coined the terms ‘extroverted’ and ‘introverted’ in the 1920s. Introverted people are defined as being shy and reticent. People with extroverted personalities are said to be outgoing and socially confident. Extroverts get their energy from being around other people. Introverts get their energy from being alone. However, we have to understand that we really the characteristics of both extroverts and introverts to survive. You can read more about Jung’s psychological types here.

We live in a high-speed, in-your-face society. We’re pressured to pursue things harder, better, faster, stronger (as the Daft Punk song explains). As we try to keep up, we’re riddled with social anxieties, depression and other mental illnesses. We need to slow down. But how do we face these challenges in a better way?

By being ambiverts! Sprinkle in some social stimulation and a dash of spending time alone, and- voila! You are now a more even-keeled, happy individual.

Advertising

In her eye-opening novel, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain examines how we live in a world dominated by extroverts. Extroverts are championed for being social and outgoing. We’re pushed to take centre-stage.

Upon reflection, as I grew older, I found that being the loud-mouthed social butterfly was starting to get tiring. I was sick of putting my foot in my mouth. I was literally sick after weekend benders. Making plans with everybody all the time became a chore. Some would call it a quarter-life crisis- I’d say it was time to grow up.

I would still say I’m an extrovert, but now I enjoy the blissful habits of being introverted, too. I stay in on weekends, I can’t get enough of reading a great book, and I’m far more in touch with my feelings and the feelings of others. I now proudly find myself to be both extroverted and introverted: an ambivert.

The more I learn, the more I realize the importance of emotional and behavioral flexibility. It allows you to connect with people from all walks of life, but more importantly: yourself.

Here’s why being an ambivert is good for you:

Advertising

1. You’re a phenomenal communicator.

Knowing when to slow down and listen, or ramp up and make your point, will make you a better leader, lover, and friend. It will also make you happier, and add more balance to your life.

2. You’re extremely adaptable to whatever is thrown your way.

You’re like an emotional chameleon, able to adapt to different scenarios by calling on your knowledge of how both extroverts and introverts tend to act.

3. You don’t fear change.

The only thing constant in life is change. You embrace the uncertain because you know you can handle it.

4. You love a good social outing, but also love quiet time at home just the same.

You feel energized when you’re with people you care about, but you also understand the importance of recharging with quiet time when you get home.

5. You know when to speak up.

You know the importance of standing up for what you believe in.

Advertising

6. You know when not to speak up.

You understand that in some situations it’s best to be a passive listener and sit quietly while the other person speaks.

7. You’re assertive, but not too overbearing.

You know what it takes to get things done, but you’re not pushy or rude about it.

8. You know when to observe and when to respond.

You are successful in many social situations because you are able to read cues and be an active listener. This helps you to know what kind of behavior is appropriate in different situations.

9.You know when to push and when to stand back.

Sometimes you have to let people know you mean business, but you’re okay with admitting your faults and standing down in a conflict.

10. You’re flexible.

Not the kind of flexible where you can touch your toes (but maybe this fits you too)- but you’re able to go with the flow and not get wound up in taking things personally or making it all about you.

Advertising

11. You’re emotionally intelligent.

Because you’re an ambivert, you know both sides of the story; you are aware of other people’s feelings, as well as your own.

12. You’re a people-pleaser, but you also know when to say “no”.

Making other people feel good makes you feel good, but you also know when someone is trying to take advantage of you.

13. You know that being both extroverted and introverted is badass.

To learn more about why being an introvert is awesome, watch Cain’s TED talk, The Power of Introverts. To learn how to speak up and take on conflict, full-frontal, watch Margaret Heffernan’s talk, Dare to Disagree. 

Ambiversion is often overlooked and undervalues, but together we can share the beauty of being both extroverted and introverted- and make for a more ambiverted tomorrow!

Featured photo credit: Fisheye + Ringflash + Pub = via flickr.com

More by this author

Overwhelmed System Overload: How to Deal With Feeling Overwhelmed This Is What Will Happen When You Become Emotionally Intelligent What Love Is Really Like 28 Things Only Americans Living in Australia Would Understand keeping cool in the corporate world How to Keep Your Cool in the Corporate World

Trending in Communication

1 15 Ways to Practice Positive Self-Talk for Success 2 What Is Self Awareness (And How to Increase Yours) 3 3 Keys to Success in Life (That Will Change You in 2019) 4 How To Control Your Emotions Effectively 5 How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 23, 2019

3 Keys to Success in Life (That Will Change You in 2019)

3 Keys to Success in Life (That Will Change You in 2019)

Do you want to program your mind and hack your body to stay in a positive state, a state of action taking throughout the day? I suggest you read on.

We will look at 3 keys to success that successful people are doing that you can model to program your mind to be in the state of succeeding from the moment upon waking, and make decisions throughout the day that will lead you towards your desires.

The Biggest Obstacle to Success: Going on Autopilot

One of the biggest pitfalls in the modern society is to fall into the trap of going on autopilot, to be walking dead and do what everyone else are doing. Most of us are too busy reacting and responding to the environment and what’s happening around us.

While we should act and take charge of our own world and our own reality. We forget to stay focused and we forget about our goals.

Learn to be conscious. Being more conscious in your day-to-day decisions will lead you to take the appropriate actions to reach your goals.

Have a purpose with life, act according to your values, and don’t let people tell you what to do or how things should be.

When you start to make more conscious decisions, you will start to think about if this is going to take you closer to your goals or drift you further away.

Why are you doing what you’re doing right now? Why are you reading this? Nothing else to do? Or are you reading this site so you might pick up a thing or two to consciously incorporate in your life to improve yourself that will move you in the direction you want?

What are your goals? Be healthy? Lose weight? Be fit? Get the dream job? Have the dream house? Live the dream life? Make a certain amount of money? Start a family?

If you truly want to pursue these goals and actually see them come true, you need to start taking actions consciously.

Advertising

3 Keys to Success in Life (That You Can Start Doing Now)

There are 3 things we have to consciously start doing:

    Now I’ll show you how you can achieve each of them in details.

    1. Write down Your Goals

    The first thing you do in the morning will determine what your day is going to be like. Program your mind to be in a powerful state from the moment upon waking, and you are guaranteed to have a productive and great day.

    How you can do this is by writing your goals down, every morning. Then, once you’ve done that, circle the most important goal,  the goal that in the long-term will have the most impact on your life.

    Now ask yourself this question: “What actions can I make today that will change everything and take me closer to this goal?

    Write down all the actions you can think of, circle the two most important ones and start doing them. Don’t stop until it’s done.

    This is an extremely powerful method of getting in the right state first thing in the morning. Instead of wandering around half-dead and spending 30 minutes to wake up, you are hacking your mind to be productive.

    Another powerful reason for writing down your goals is that by reading them it makes us feel good, write them as if they’re already accomplished. You’re already there.

    Re-reading and re-writing them every morning will ensure you to be in a resourceful state where you act based on your goals. You will make conscious decisions throughout the day that will support your goals and take you closer to them.

    Advertising

    Goals that are not written down are merely wishes. Learn how to set great goals here: How to Set SMART Goal to Make Lasting Changes in Life

    The power of writing goals as if you’re already there takes us to point number 2.

    2. Create a Powerful Belief System

    Ask any successful person what their number one rule for succeeding is. They all have this in common:

    They believe in themselves and what they’re doing, and they are not afraid to say it.

    If you don’t believe in yourself, why would anyone else?

    When people ask you about your goals in life, don’t be afraid to say it out loud. If you have high goals, they might laugh and look at you funny. But if you’re insecure about your goals, you will make insecure decisions that will lead you nowhere.

    Go against the grain, stand out. After all, how many people in the world today are actually living the dream? Now, how many of these people will respond something in the likes of “I don’t know” if you ask what their goals are?

    Be determined and believe in yourself. People will respect you for having the guts for going after what you truly desire.

    I once heard a story about a guy that worked in a video store. Every day he would bring two magazines to work, one was an entrepreneur magazine and the other was a magazine loaded with expensive and fast-riding cars. His boss would ask him why he was bringing these magazines to work every day and his answer was: “I’m picking out the car I’m going to buy.”

    The response from the boss was like most average minds saying he was killing himself thinking like that, he would never ever get that car and would just end up disappointed when it never happened.

    Advertising

    Turned out, the guy later quit the job at the video store and followed his dream. Some years later he return to the video store to return a video, and he did so in the car he picked out from the magazine.

    The same people were working in the store as the day he used to work there. Now can you imagine the looks on their faces when he turned up in the car they said he never ever would get?

    Priceless. And it all started by creating a powerful belief system.

    The first step to living and achieving your dream is to believe it and imagine it. When you believe in your mind that you’ve already achieved your goals, you will develop a sense of certainty. That certainty will lead to action steps, when you know what the outcome is going to be it’s much easier to pick out the actions that are necessary to get there.

    You are certain you will live in the body you want.

    You are certain you will live in the dream house with the dream family.

    You are certain you will have the job you want, and earn the money you believe you’re worth.

    By constantly repeating in your mind the images of yourself succeeding, you create neural pathways in the brain. Your mind can’t tell the difference between what you vividly imagine and the reality.

    Go out and day dream. Go out and believe, imagine already living your dreams and goals. With enough repetition, you become certain that this is the only outcome and you work backwards to find ways for making it happen.

    The next step in personal success that will lead to life success and happiness is to..

    Advertising

    3. Invest in Yourself

    A wise man was once asked what the best possible investment someone could make. His answer was short, sweet and simple: “Invest In Yourself.”

    The man’s name is Warren Buffett. He is known as the world’s greatest investor. According to Forbes, he has a net worth of $53.5 Billion.

    Hiring a personal coach, getting a membership at a gym, buying healthy foods, books and education are not expenses. They are investments: investments in yourself.

    Some things you can do today to invest in yourself are:

    • Go to the gym and train. Physical training releases endorphins and makes you feel great. It increases productivity and energy levels. By investing time in the gym, you’ll be better able to handle daily tasks and what life throws at you. Forty-five to fifty minutes is all you need, it’s actually the best time to shoot for in a workout.
    • Eat good food. When you go to the grocery store after work, ask yourself: “What foods will nourish my mind and body to feel and perform better?” You are setting yourself up for greatness and consciously making yourself aware of what foods will empower you, therefore make better decisions.
    • Start reading books. Everyone buys books, but very few actually reads them cover to cover.
    • Stop reading books and start studying them. Few read the books they buy, but even fewer remembers what they read. Stop reading books and start studying books.
    • Study at least one hour a day. “One hour per day of study will put you at the top of your field within three years. Within five years you’ll be a national authority. In seven years, you can be one of the best people in the world at what you do.” – Brian Tracy
    • Take notes. Never leave home without a pen and a piece of paper. The best ideas often comes in the least appropriate times, write them down. Don’t trust your mind to remember them—it won’t. Writing it down right away will also allow your mind to store and come up with more ideas. Nowadays, you can use plenty of notes-taking apps like Evernote.
    • Learn a new skill. Learn something new every day, a new skill or a new word. One new skill every day equals 365 new skills a year. Now imagine where you could be a year from now if you start doing it today?
    • Do something for yourself. Yes, hard work is a major factor for succeeding, but at least once per month do something fun, something outrageous and spontaneous that makes you feel alive. Have fun and enjoy yourself.

    The Crucial Rule to Follow

    The last piece of advice and rule to follow: Keep on, keeping on.

    Sometimes, things get hard and the road seems too long. You just have to keep on, keeping on.

    Revisit your goals and start imagining, all of the sudden you’ve changed your state and you’re on the right track again. The track that will take you to greatness.

    Use these 3 keys to create your destiny and achieve what you want in life.

    Go get it.

    More About Achieving Success

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

    Read Next