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7 Insider Habits of Truly Successful People

7 Insider Habits of Truly Successful People

What does a successful person’s day look like?

Are successful people really motivated by money?

When you take a peek into the true daily practices of great men and women, you find that it’s the freedom that comes from generating wealth that’s most important to them. This self-reliance comes not from entitlement or perfectionism, but from simple yet rarely-practiced self-discipline.

The following seven insider habits of truly successful people are all about self-discipline. Put these into practice and you will quickly begin to create opportunity in your life, which inevitably leads to success.

1. They Make a Habit of Good Habits

This may sound like a Catch-22, but the first insider habit of truly successful people is following positive daily habits.

Successful people are extremely self-aware. They constantly assess themselves to figure out which daily habits work, and which don’t. Then they jettison the bad habits, replacing them with good ones.

It sounds simple, but it takes self-discipline.

Write down a list of your 10 worst habits. For example:

  1. I’m on my smartphone too much.
  2. I sit at the computer all day instead of talking to people.
  3. I drink 5 bottles of soda every day.
  4. I’m always late to meetings.
    etc…

Then, next to each of these, write down a new, good habit to replace it.

Here are some creative and effective ways to do this:

  • Temptation bundling – allow yourself an indulgence only when you engage in the new habit. For example, “I will only check my smartphone if I go for a 5-minute walk.”
  • Automate – schedule an automatic reminder in your calendar. For example, schedule an hourly reminder to “walk around and talk to people for 5 minutes” during workdays.
  • Placeholders – give yourself a placeholder object that will prevent you from doing the bad habit. For example, buy and carry around a large water bottle so you avoid grabbing for soda.
  • Gamify – use a smartphone app to “gamify” your life and give yourself rewards or penalties every time you perform good and bad habits (like being on-time or late for a meeting). Search for “habit game” or “habit streak” in your app store.

By substituting bad habits with good ones, you can master the art of habit substitution and set yourself up to be a productivity machine. This is the foundation of self-discipline.

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2. They Sweat 10 Minutes Every Day

I used to be overweight. I definitely was not happy with how I looked, so I worked on it.

As a result, I lost 50 pounds.

Over the years I figured out the foods and movements that worked for me, and I became fit (for me, it’s CrossFit and primal/paleo nutrition…for you, it might be something else).

Here’s the surprising part: by losing weight, I gained something else: time.

By getting in shape and eating well, you’ll discover that you have more energy than ever. You can do more, in less time, and more often. You create time out of thin air. You become more productive, and it becomes fun just to get stuff done.

Richard Branson, one of the most successful and powerful men alive, calls working out the most powerful productivity (and confidence) hack of all time.

Start focusing on your health. The easiest way to do this is to sweat for 10 minutes every day. Go for a sprint. Do some heavy yard work. Do some push-ups, squats, and planks. Just 10 minutes every day. When you start seeing results, build from there. Try a new sport or CrossFit one or two days a week.

Successful people stay fit.

Bonus tip: Experiment with your diet. Find what works for you. Try an elimination diet, where you eliminate one thing – say, bread – from your diet for 30 days. Write down your energy, mood, and how you feel and look every day. Then see if you improved. If so, keep going and move to the next thing. Or try intermittent fasting, where you don’t eat breakfast for a month, or you don’t eat one day each week for a month. See what that does for your health, energy, and self-discipline!

3. They Read One Book Every Week

Being an informed person is the quickest way to success, because very few people are informed. Only 1 out of 4 adults have even read a single book in the last year.

Just look at this infographic by Robert Brewer:

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Reading Reality

    The top 1% of international experts and income-earners read at least 1 hour every day. That translates to 1-2 books per week.

    Focus on your profession or industry, then your interests, and then topics that you want to learn more about. Pulp fiction makes for a fun distraction, but, like watching TV, it might not move the needle much. During your deliberate self-improvement reading time, read books that are mentally stimulating.

    Although it won’t guarantee you success, your chances of success are roughly 0% if you’re not informed. Start reading!

    4. They Help Others Be Successful

    Make other people feel important, and help others be successful, and you will be successful.

    The most successful people grade themselves on others’ success. It’s the healthy version of a pyramid scheme. The more you help others, the more they will trust you and look to you for guidance, and when they do, they’ll bring their friends.

    When I started to improve my speaking skills, I turned to people who were already great speakers. The best ones helped me so much that I was happy to buy their books and courses. As I became a skilled speaker, I began to mentor beginners. What I thought would be a drain on my time turned out to teach me more than I ever had by being a student. It gave me greater confidence and accelerated my learning. By helping others improve their speaking skills, I achieved even greater success.

    Which brings me to the next insider habit.

    5. They Become Skillful at Speaking

    Successful people are skillful with their words.

    In fact, it’s the one thing all successful men and women have in common, according to Les Giblin in How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People. This finding was based on a study of thousands of successful people.

    It’s about being an effective communicator, not just lots of talk.

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    Even happiness is tied closely to your ability express yourself – your hopes and disappointments, ideas and fears.

    Worry less about perfect delivery, and instead focus on telling your personal story. Engage in small talk, but talk like a normal human being. Small talk (as simple as “What’s your name?”) gets the conversation going. Ask follow-up questions to show you’re listening and interested.

    There are lots of ways to start building your speaking confidence, such as joining Toastmasters or taking an improv comedy class. Both situations require you to practice in front of others, in a safe environment, and get immediate feedback.

    When in doubt, talk about the other person, not yourself. As Giblin puts it:

    “Do you want to shine and swell your own ego – or do you want the other person’s business, his name on a dotted line, his permission to do something, his good will? If all you want is to inflate your own ego, go ahead and talk exclusively about yourself but don’t expect to get anything else out of the conversation.”

    6. They Banish the Nay-Sayers

    Have you ever told someone about your great new idea, only for them to shoot it down immediately? Something you’ve worked on for hours, weeks, or months, and yet the other person has only negative things to say?

    You may find most people are jealous of the mere thought of you being successful. These nay-sayers bring you down and suppress good ideas from seeing daylight.

    Successful people surround themselves with VIPs but, more importantly, they eliminate negative people from their circle of friends and acquaintances. They focus only on the supportive people in their lives, but they also distance themselves from people who have nothing but negative things to say.

    Banishing the nay-sayers around you is another cornerstone of self-reliance and self-discipline.

    Bond Halbert – son of the late and eminently successful copywriter Gary Halbert – put it this way:

    “Never, ever encourage people who drag you down to hang around. A support system is like a garden, and you always need to be on the lookout for weeds to pull…self-reliance is the most satisfying thing in the world. It is important to know that often, self-reliance is the real motive of great business men and not money.”

    7. They Take Action Now

    Stop procrastinating!

    It’s one thing to dream, to hope, to plan, and to envision. It’s quite another to take action.

    Successful people always move forward. They take initiative, follow-up with people and commitments, write down ideas and work on them, stay engaged, and try new things at least twice.

    Try this:

    1. Write down the one thing you want to work on this month – a new skill, an idea, a project, losing weight, reducing debt
    2. Schedule 30 minutes every day on your calendar with automatic reminders to work on this one thing

    Why just one thing? Because otherwise you’ll be unfocused, and you’ll make excuses. But if you focus relentlessly for a few weeks or months on that one thing, you’ll finally achieve results. You’ll also free yourself up to work on the next thing.

    In Take the Stairs: 7 Steps to Achieving True Success, Rory Vaden describes this mentality succinctly: “I’ll work double-time part time now…for full-time free time later.”

    Jayson Demers of Inc. points out the benefits of taking action instead of wasting your energy trying to argue your point:

    “Get to work on your plan and actively demonstrate that your side of the argument is the correct one. It’s easy to argue against an idea, but it’s nearly impossible to argue against results. Powerful people aren’t worried about winning through an argument; they simply want the best possible results, and won’t waste time bickering to get there.”

    What are you waiting for?

    Take action now by starting to practice these seven insider habits of truly successful people.

    Which insider habit are you working on? What success have you seen as a result? Let me and the community know in the comments below.

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    Featured photo credit: Flazingo.com via flickr.com

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    Last Updated on March 30, 2020

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

    You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

    This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

    Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

    There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

    How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

    When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

    Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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    1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

    One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

    The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

    Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

    2. Be Honest

    A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

    If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

    On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

    Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

    3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

    Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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    If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

    4. Succeed at Something

    When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

    Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

    5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

    Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

    Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

    If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

    If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

    Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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    6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

    Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

    You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

    On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

    You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

    7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

    Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

    Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

    Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

    When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

    Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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    In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

    Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

    It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

    Final Thoughts

    When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

    The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

    Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

    Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

    Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

    More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

    Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
    [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
    [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
    [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
    [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
    [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
    [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
    [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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