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What It’s Really Like When You’re Married

What It’s Really Like When You’re Married

Before you got married, you had some idea of what you life would be like as a couple living in matrimonial bliss. What you did not realize, however, was the little daily quirks and not-so-enjoyable habits that you would have to witness as you joined your lives together.

Here are some of the realities of marriage that no one told you about before you got hitched.

1. You have different ideas on how to load the dishwasher

You might think that the way that you do chores is the way everyone else does them, but if so, you are sorely mistaken. Your significant other probably has a different approach to how to load the dishwasher or do laundry.

Remember, because there are cups on the bottom rack or a few dark pieces of clothing with the light, it does not mean that World War III should break out.

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2. You realize the very real clean wars

Remember the saying ‘opposites attract’? This is not always true, especially in marriage. If you thought living with a slob would not be a big deal, while you tend to be a bit OCD, it’s definitely not as simple as it may seem.

Usually the cleaner person ends up being the bad guy, mostly because they are always cleaning or nagging their messier partner to clean up after themselves.

3. You gain twice the stuff

Ever dreamed of getting free stuff? One of the side effects of marriage is that you will be doubling your possessions now. Do not be concerned if your house starts to look like something that you could be a qualifier for the TV show ‘Hoarders’.

4. You never win TV remote battles

Television watching is a whole other ballgame. You might be roped into viewing shows you might never wish on your worse enemy. It seems like whoever gets to the remote first gets to choose, and unfortunately, it is rarely you.

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5. You realize how to read between the lines

Beware of the notorious passive response that tends to be popular with married folk. Answers like “I don’t care what we eat tonight” or “I don’t want anything for our anniversary” are sometimes (not always though) responses that are actually more loaded than they first appear.

They can often be translated to “I will eat anything but Italian or Chinese food” and “I would actually love this new tablet, but I don’t want to seem greedy.”

6. You are always awoken by frozen feet

You know the expression “cold feet” quite literally, when your spouse puts their freezing feet on your warm body. There is nothing that will wake you up faster than this jolt of ice under the covers.

All too often, you have to kindly – and sometimes not so kindly – remind your spouse that you are not a heater.

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7. You have to attend twice the family reunions

Growing up, you always dreaded the annual family reunion and now that you are married you cannot escape your spouse’s either. There are times when you feel like you would rather empty the dishwasher for the whole entire year, than face a force family get-together.

The thing things you do for love, right?

8. You have very different taste in music

You love country, while your spouse loves bluegrass. This is not a problem usually, except when you are in the car together and you want to listen to some communal tunes.

You are learning the art of compromising quite well.

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9. You have an obligation to give up the last cookie

It is an unspoken rule in marriage that you always ask your spouse if they want to have the last cookie, slice of cake, piece of pizza. And  yes, that is even if you know they will say yes 100% of the time.

10. You have to endure your fair share of bodily functions

Once you are married, you seem to feel quite relaxed around each other, which can lead to frequent passing of air out both ends. After all, you did say for better or worse during your wedding vows, right?

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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