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8 Compassionate Ways To Support People With Anxiety

8 Compassionate Ways To Support People With Anxiety

Dealing with anxiety can be incredibly stressful. It can be even more so when the person suffering from anxiety knows it’s affecting their relationships and friendships. As a person that cares for someone with anxiety, never forget they are going through enough already without having to deal with the extra pressure of acting as if everything’s okay for the sake of their loved ones. If someone you care about suffers from anxiety, there are many ways you can help them get through the rough times in life.

1. Be accepting

First and foremost, don’t be a fair-weather friend. If you truly care about someone, you’ll be there for them through the good times and the bad. It might be difficult for you as well, but helping a friend through their anxiety shows that you are genuine, and you’re not going to leave your friend to deal with his issues on his own. Accept their anxiety as it is: a disease of the mind. Your friend is sick, so it’s important to be there for them when they need you the most.

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2. Be educated

Understand the root causes of anxiety. It’s not something a person can simply “snap out of.” It’s a disease caused by a chemical imbalance in the person’s brain which causes physical as well as emotional distress. Don’t downplay a friend’s anxiety, thinking they can simply “get over it.” If they could, they would.

3. Don’t bring it up

Be cognizant of a friend’s anxiety, but don’t exacerbate the issue by calling attention to it. When making plans, think of activities that are fairly calm and aren’t too  stimulating; but don’t say things like “Well, I’d ask if you want to go to a concert, but I know you hate crowds.” Obviously, this will only make your friend feel as if he’s holding you back from doing something you actually want to do, and that you’re taking pity on him. Take your friend’s anxiety into consideration, but sweep it under the rug during conversation.

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4. Be active

Get your friend up and out of the house as much as possible. Hiking, playing a sport, or simply spending some time outdoors can alleviate a lot of the symptoms of anxiety that he probably feels on a minute-to-minute basis. Anxiety creeps in when the mind isn’t busy, so just “hanging out” will increase the chances of your friend having mild to severe panic attacks. Stay active, and keep his mind off of the anxious feelings that plague him during downtime.

5. Be yourself

Don’t feel like you have to be a different person around your friend. People who suffer from anxiety might be sick, but they’re not dumb. They’ll notice when you’re acting differently or walking on eggshells around them, which will only cause more anxiety for them. If a person who suffers from anxiety wants you around, it’s because you give them a sense of comfort by just being you. So be the person you always are around them. It will keep them grounded.

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6. Be resilient

At times, it can be emotionally exhausting to be there for someone suffering through anxiety. But that’s the case any time you find yourself supporting a sick friend. Do your best to help your friend, especially when they’re at their worst. They need you more than ever, and they truly appreciate everything you do for them.

7. Don’t take it personally

Your friend might need some alone time, and might be distant for a while in your relationship. That’s totally fine. If they need their space, give them space. Don’t think they’re ditching you; they probably just don’t want to drag you down with them. Make it clear to them that you’ll always be there for them when they need you, but you’ll also give them time and space when they need you to back off.

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8. Separate them from their anxiety

Your friend is not anxiety personified. In fact, their anxiety is a small part of who they are. They’re still the person you grew close to all those years ago, despite the recent changes that may have occurred within their mind. Remind them of who they are, especially during times when they truly don’t feel like themselves. The best way to help your friend through this difficult time in their life is to remind them of who they really are.

Featured photo credit: Hand / Jeff Kubina via farm2.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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