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8 Ways For Empaths To Avoid Drowning In Others’ Sadness

8 Ways For Empaths To Avoid Drowning In Others’ Sadness

Empathy is a value we wish to instill in our children from a very young age, but it’s important that we realize that it’s possible to be too empathetic at times. Many times, empaths find themselves putting others before themselves to the point that they feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable for absolutely no reason. Empaths carry other people’s burdens with them wherever they go, and find it hard to shrug these feelings off even when they become overwhelming. If you ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, there are steps you can take to alleviate the problem before it becomes too much to handle.

1. Evaluate your feelings

Empaths tend to take other people’s feelings on as their own, and find it hard to separate themselves from the feeling once it takes hold of them. It’s important for you to be able to evaluate whether what you’re feeling is due to an internal or external stimulus, and act accordingly. Realizing you’re getting worked up over something that doesn’t directly affect you is the first step toward alleviating those dreadful feelings.

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2. Distance yourself

Once you realize the external source of your distress, move away from it physically and emotionally. If a couple begins arguing in a public place and you find yourself getting anxious, find another place to continue whatever activity you were engaged in. If a friend is going through a tough time, it’s definitely okay to help them out, but remember that it’s not your problem to deal with. Of course, you’ll feel bad for your friend, but you also need to watch out for your own well-being as well. There’s no sense in both of you being dragged down.

3. Know your vulnerabilities

It’s important that you know you’re an empath in order to avoid putting yourself in emotionally-driven situations that can be detrimental to your overall well-being. Also, take notice of where you physically start to ache when you start feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Some people get butterflies in their stomach, others get migraine headaches. Whatever the case may be, be sure to notice when this happens so you are able to immediately distance yourself from a stressful situation the second it becomes too much to handle.

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4. Concentrate on your breathing

Remind yourself that the problem around you is not your problem by focusing on your own breathing. Taking controlled, even breaths will help realign your mindset, and help you realize you don’t need to be involved in the situation at hand. After you’ve regained control, you’ll be able to remove yourself from the situation to avoid any further panic.

5. Set boundaries

As an empath, you obviously care deeply for those around you. But you still have to look out for number one. Set physical and emotional boundaries when you start to feel overwhelmed. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to an invite to coffee if you know it will result in the other party laying out their troubles in front of you. Don’t feel like you need to pick up the phone every time someone needs something from you. You want to be a good friend, but you shouldn’t do so at the expense of your own well-being.

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6. Visualize boundaries

When you do choose to be the shoulder for a friend to cry on, you also need to visualize symbolic boundaries between the two of you. Create an imaginary wall that allows you to see and hear your friend’s plight, but keeps you from taking on their problems as your own. Remind yourself that no matter how much you help, you can only do so much for them. It’s up to them to truly take the reins and solve their own problems.

7. Focus on own emotions

It’s okay to feel bad for a friend, but remember: you’re feeling bad for a friend, not for yourself. Don’t let their troubles ruin the rest of your day. You can empathize with them while you’re spending time with them, but once you leave the situation, you should also leave the feelings behind as well. Like I said before, there’s no point in both of you feeling down. If your friend drags you into a pit of despair with them, it becomes impossible for either of you to help each other out of it.

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8. Do whatever calms you

We all have coping mechanisms for when we’re upset for legitimate reasons. When you find yourself emotionally distressed for any reason at all, do whatever it is that helps you get back to baseline. Take a long bath, hit some golf balls at the driving range, eat some ice cream. Treat yourself! Focusing on pleasure will almost certainly alleviate any sympathy pains you’ve been feeling for a friend.

Featured photo credit: New York City | NYC | June 2010 / Nan Palmero via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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