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Every Couple Should Never Forget To Do These 10 Things No Matter How Long They’ve Been Together

Every Couple Should Never Forget To Do These 10 Things No Matter How Long They’ve Been Together

True love lasts forever, doesn’t it? Well, at least the majority of people believe so. However, it is not only the love itself that makes a relationship work for years; it is also about the people and what they do to make it work.

Just being together and being in love may be enough for the first year, but then you will need to try harder. Here are some things for couples to do in every stage of their relationships.

1. Go on dates

Whether you’ve just started dating or have been married for years, it is always great to go out together. Dress up and go to a restaurant, to the theater or just for a walk around a park.

If it is true love, you’ll always have something to talk about, from how both of your days were, to the deepest thoughts and feelings.

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2. Travel together

Nothing brings people closer than traveling. You make plans together, you see new exciting views, you get great memories to remember for years and, most importantly, you overcome difficulties together.

With age, people tend to travel less, finding many excuses not to go far away from home. Don’t be those people! Travel to a new place every year; that will definitely be beneficial for your relationships.

3. Do things together

It is very important to spend quality time together, whether you prefer watching TV together, working out, taking cooking or dancing classes, going for a walk or just staying up all night talking. The most important thing is to enjoy each other’s company.

4. Have your own hobbies as well

No matter how much you love your partner, being together all the time and doing every single thing together can be quite difficult sometimes. Having separate hobbies is a great thing in every stage of the relationship.

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One person can play video games, while the other one draws, for example. It will give you satisfaction from doing the thing you love and will actually make you miss your partner.

5. Have traditions

Traditions are a great part of every community, big or small. Traditions in a family are also very important.

Traditions can be different, starting from the more common ones such as celebrating big holidays and inviting all the relatives, to the small personal ones such as cooking pancakes for each other every weekend.

6. Hug and kiss every day

Many happy couples kiss and hug every day. Psychologists say that thanks to such personal contact, couples develop devotion and affection towards each other; it improves their spirit and they trust one another and feel safe.

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Such intimacy is crucial for every relationship.

7. Do the small things for each other

Surprising each other and making each other feel special is a must for any relationship. Paying a compliment, giving flowers, cooking his or her favorite dish, writing a love letter (or sending a love text if you must, but an actual letter is preferable), and bringing coffee to bed are all the great things to surprise your partner with.

Be creative and don’t forget to please your beloved all the time.

8. Share your responsibilities and help each other

The times when men were responsible for financial stability and women for household only are long over. Now, often both spouses work and provide for the family.

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Household responsibility should be shared as well. If you see that your beloved one is especially tired today, take his or her household responsibilities this time. They’ll surely exchange the favor in the near future.

9. Always be honest

Always tell your partner the truth, even if it is not very pleasant. Don’t let your loved one doubt your honesty. Distrust is one of the main reasons of losing the harmony in relationships.

Happy couples value honesty and are always sincere with each other.

10. Make love and talk about it

Physical love is as important as emotional love in a relationship. If there are both of these components, it is magical. Have sex regularly and talk about things you like and don’t like in bed.

Being open here is very important. Spice things up once in a while too, and do something different to make it more interesting for the two of you.

Featured photo credit: Beach Couple/Nick Page via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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