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Every Couple Should Never Forget To Do These 10 Things No Matter How Long They’ve Been Together

Every Couple Should Never Forget To Do These 10 Things No Matter How Long They’ve Been Together

True love lasts forever, doesn’t it? Well, at least the majority of people believe so. However, it is not only the love itself that makes a relationship work for years; it is also about the people and what they do to make it work.

Just being together and being in love may be enough for the first year, but then you will need to try harder. Here are some things for couples to do in every stage of their relationships.

1. Go on dates

Whether you’ve just started dating or have been married for years, it is always great to go out together. Dress up and go to a restaurant, to the theater or just for a walk around a park.

If it is true love, you’ll always have something to talk about, from how both of your days were, to the deepest thoughts and feelings.

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2. Travel together

Nothing brings people closer than traveling. You make plans together, you see new exciting views, you get great memories to remember for years and, most importantly, you overcome difficulties together.

With age, people tend to travel less, finding many excuses not to go far away from home. Don’t be those people! Travel to a new place every year; that will definitely be beneficial for your relationships.

3. Do things together

It is very important to spend quality time together, whether you prefer watching TV together, working out, taking cooking or dancing classes, going for a walk or just staying up all night talking. The most important thing is to enjoy each other’s company.

4. Have your own hobbies as well

No matter how much you love your partner, being together all the time and doing every single thing together can be quite difficult sometimes. Having separate hobbies is a great thing in every stage of the relationship.

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One person can play video games, while the other one draws, for example. It will give you satisfaction from doing the thing you love and will actually make you miss your partner.

5. Have traditions

Traditions are a great part of every community, big or small. Traditions in a family are also very important.

Traditions can be different, starting from the more common ones such as celebrating big holidays and inviting all the relatives, to the small personal ones such as cooking pancakes for each other every weekend.

6. Hug and kiss every day

Many happy couples kiss and hug every day. Psychologists say that thanks to such personal contact, couples develop devotion and affection towards each other; it improves their spirit and they trust one another and feel safe.

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Such intimacy is crucial for every relationship.

7. Do the small things for each other

Surprising each other and making each other feel special is a must for any relationship. Paying a compliment, giving flowers, cooking his or her favorite dish, writing a love letter (or sending a love text if you must, but an actual letter is preferable), and bringing coffee to bed are all the great things to surprise your partner with.

Be creative and don’t forget to please your beloved all the time.

8. Share your responsibilities and help each other

The times when men were responsible for financial stability and women for household only are long over. Now, often both spouses work and provide for the family.

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Household responsibility should be shared as well. If you see that your beloved one is especially tired today, take his or her household responsibilities this time. They’ll surely exchange the favor in the near future.

9. Always be honest

Always tell your partner the truth, even if it is not very pleasant. Don’t let your loved one doubt your honesty. Distrust is one of the main reasons of losing the harmony in relationships.

Happy couples value honesty and are always sincere with each other.

10. Make love and talk about it

Physical love is as important as emotional love in a relationship. If there are both of these components, it is magical. Have sex regularly and talk about things you like and don’t like in bed.

Being open here is very important. Spice things up once in a while too, and do something different to make it more interesting for the two of you.

Featured photo credit: Beach Couple/Nick Page via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

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Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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