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Ways To Support Loved Ones With Anxiety

Ways To Support Loved Ones With Anxiety

Showing your support for friends and family can be difficult because what you might think is effective, may actually be more harmful than good. Here are some ways that have been backed by research that will allow you to be as helpful as possible.

1. Realize that things are usually magnified for those with anxiety

People who suffer from anxiety are often misunderstood. People often think that taking a few deep breaths or taking some space will help solve their problems. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. It is important to show support towards loved ones who are anxious by not telling them it will pass or to not sweat the small stuff. For them, their anxiety transforms a seemingly normal everyday situation into something bigger. It is in your best interest to show your support by encouragement, while at the same time not underestimating the situation.

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2. Avoid saying phrases like “calm down”

When you use phrases that are telling an anxious person to be less stressed, it often has the opposite effect. For people who do not suffer from anxiety, these phrases usually will do the trick, but an anxious person is wired differently. It is important to support an anxious person by your actions, rather than your words. Bringing a cool washcloth or creating a quiet environment where they can recover is more important than telling them phrases that will only cause them more anxiety.

3. Help them accept their negative thoughts

It may be tempting to tell your anxious loved ones that they should think positively; however, this will not help get to the root of their problem. Anxious people often have the same negative thoughts on a loop. Instead of trying to block them out, it is important for them to acknowledge that they are there and then try to let them go.

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4. Help them face their fears head on

For loved ones stricken with anxiety, you may feel it is better to shield them from anything that may induce fear, but in fact the opposite is true. Humans are wired with a behavior called “negative reinforcement”, which means by avoiding something that they already fear, it just reinforces this fact. Helping anxious people face a fear, even if they experience negative emotions can help them in the long run. This can be a tricky situation. Make sure you have their permission first to help them because it is ultimately up to them to change their own behavior.

5. Avoid bringing it up excessively

Loved ones suffering from anxiety may seem to talk about their fears constantly with you, but that does not mean you should feel free to bring it up as well. People with anxiety are constantly thinking about it, so when someone else brings it up it creates more anxiety and embarrassment for them. Instead, bring up common interests that you both enjoy.

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6. Avoid leaving them alone

For those with loved ones who are constantly anxious, it may seem like the best thing to do is give them their space, when in fact the opposite is true. People who suffer from anxiety need to be social because it helps distract them from their own thoughts when they are alone. It is important to set-up coffee dates or go to the movies together because it will help ease their anxiety tenfold.

7. Treat them like a normal person

It may be tempting to treat someone with anxiety differently, to be more cautious about how you act or what you say, but it only has a negative effect on them. Anxious people can tell when someone is treating them in a special way and this only increases their stress levels.

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8. Try not to take things personally

It might seem like a person with anxiety has a standoffish or disagreeable personality, so it might be hard to not take it personally. However, it is important to practice sympathy in this situation because the person with anxiety is not usually this way at all and is just battling a constant stream of anxious thoughts.

9. Don’t try to relate to them

People who have loved ones who are dealing with anxiety disorders might feel the need to empathize with them; however, this is a harmful way of trying to help them. Comparing a stressful day at work to a person who has been diagnosed with anxiety is not the same. You may inadvertently make it seem like you are underestimating a serious medical disorder.

10. Don’t place blame on yourself

It may seem like some things you do cause more anxiety for someone who has an anxiety disorder, but it is important not to have this mindset. Blaming yourself only creates more stress for both you and your loved one who is suffering from anxiety disorder. The truth is that their anxiety is much more deep-rooted than you think. Your everyday interactions with them are not contributing factors.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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