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20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One

20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One

Starting a relationship is an exciting endeavor – we never know where it will go, what we will learn about the other person and what the future might hold.

Even in the most stable, long-term relationships, there can be a small flicker of doubt in us that makes us wonder if we have found the mythical “one”. Soul-mate, partner, true love- no matter how you say it, that is the idea of ultimate love that we all want to find in our partner.

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When we think of a soul-mate, we think of the one person out there that feels as though they were made for us: a person who completes the missing portion of ourselves and who can travel the journey of life at our side.

Uncertainty does no good when it comes to romantic relationships. Spending lots of time worrying about if your choice in a partner will turn into a wise investment of your time is- ironically- often a poor use of your time, in the end. The best relationships start with potential, uncertainty, hope and a small shimmer of a spark that could turn into something wonderfully ineffable.

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Here’s 20 ways to know if your relationship is one that will stand the test of time:

1. Communication is not something you have to demand: it comes naturally

2. There is a process of ‘give and take’ from both of you

3. You can envision your dreams involving them, and they feel the same

4. They are comfortable trying things you want to try

5. But they are just as comfortable relaxing at home with you

6. You can trust them with anything

7. They can see the silver lining to your flaws

8. Alone time is mutually comforting- not the cause of a fight

9. Hard times bring out the best in them, not the worst

10. There is no screaming, threatening or pettiness between the two of you

11. Being with one another feels safe, like you are both cocooned from the real world

12. You can respect each others’ differences and opinions

13. You can get along with both of your friendship groups

14. Grudges are a non-entity – forgiveness comes before argument fodder

15. Empathy is natural and never forced

16. If you are married, you can comfortably envision being wed again and again

17. If you have children, you two are a team in your parenting approach. You’re never divided

18. You take each others’ advice to heart

19.Your gut and heart agree that they are ‘the one’

20. More than anything, you both want each other to be as happy and healthy as possible. You’re committed to this, even if it means not being with them anymore

There are many more examples I could have listed, as each relationship is unique. Most relationships don’t fit the soul-mate ideal. Even still, the “one” is that one person who, even with all their faults, you can come home to and still feel like everything is going to be alright in the end.

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If you’re looking at this list and wondering if not experiencing some of these love points is a red flag, then stop worrying. Perfection in a human is like beauty in art- it’s in the eye of the beholder.

If you and your partner have any of the points on this list going for you, you know you’ve found the “one”. Take #19 to heart, especially; even if you’re reading this, uncertain in your own relationship or yourself, remember that you are the one that knows best. If there’s a little voice telling you something is just right, it more than likely knows what it is talking about.

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For better or worse, go forth, you crazy lovebirds.

Featured photo credit: Ana_Cotta via flickr.com

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Procrastinating, making excuses or tricking yourself into loafing is just going to cement the fact that nothing will ever get done. It might not sound pretty, or even too easy, but the easiest way to get to success is to just jump in and get going (which is exactly how I got started). 2. Blaming It's not your fault you're not successful – the industry is bad, you don't have the money, etc, etc. When it comes down to it, however, who is the one responsible for your success? You. This is the day and age where people are launching successful start-ups in a few months, getting published online and finding their way to success one way or another. Some things might be out of your control, but blaming others is just going to waste the energy and time you need to get going. 3. Sour-grapes Being envious of the success of others is almost as bad as blaming them. 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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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