Starting a relationship is an exciting endeavor – we never know where it will go, what we will learn about the other person and what the future might hold.
Even in the most stable, long-term relationships, there can be a small flicker of doubt in us that makes us wonder if we have found the mythical “one”. Soul-mate, partner, true love- no matter how you say it, that is the idea of ultimate love that we all want to find in our partner.
When we think of a soul-mate, we think of the one person out there that feels as though they were made for us: a person who completes the missing portion of ourselves and who can travel the journey of life at our side.
Uncertainty does no good when it comes to romantic relationships. Spending lots of time worrying about if your choice in a partner will turn into a wise investment of your time is- ironically- often a poor use of your time, in the end. The best relationships start with potential, uncertainty, hope and a small shimmer of a spark that could turn into something wonderfully ineffable.
Here’s 20 ways to know if your relationship is one that will stand the test of time:
1. Communication is not something you have to demand: it comes naturally
2. There is a process of ‘give and take’ from both of you
3. You can envision your dreams involving them, and they feel the same
4. They are comfortable trying things you want to try
5. But they are just as comfortable relaxing at home with you
6. You can trust them with anything
7. They can see the silver lining to your flaws
8. Alone time is mutually comforting- not the cause of a fight
9. Hard times bring out the best in them, not the worst
10. There is no screaming, threatening or pettiness between the two of you
11. Being with one another feels safe, like you are both cocooned from the real world
12. You can respect each others’ differences and opinions
13. You can get along with both of your friendship groups
14. Grudges are a non-entity – forgiveness comes before argument fodder
15. Empathy is natural and never forced
16. If you are married, you can comfortably envision being wed again and again
17. If you have children, you two are a team in your parenting approach. You’re never divided
18. You take each others’ advice to heart
19.Your gut and heart agree that they are ‘the one’
20. More than anything, you both want each other to be as happy and healthy as possible. You’re committed to this, even if it means not being with them anymore
There are many more examples I could have listed, as each relationship is unique. Most relationships don’t fit the soul-mate ideal. Even still, the “one” is that one person who, even with all their faults, you can come home to and still feel like everything is going to be alright in the end.
If you’re looking at this list and wondering if not experiencing some of these love points is a red flag, then stop worrying. Perfection in a human is like beauty in art- it’s in the eye of the beholder.
If you and your partner have any of the points on this list going for you, you know you’ve found the “one”. Take #19 to heart, especially; even if you’re reading this, uncertain in your own relationship or yourself, remember that you are the one that knows best. If there’s a little voice telling you something is just right, it more than likely knows what it is talking about.
For better or worse, go forth, you crazy lovebirds.
Featured photo credit: Ana_Cotta via flickr.com