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Looking for Spirituality Books Backed By Science? Here are 8 Recommendations

Looking for Spirituality Books Backed By Science? Here are 8 Recommendations

There are so many self-help and spirituality books out there, it can be hard to figure out which ones are going to be useful and which ones not to waste your money on. A lot of these books have information that is backed by science, and have information that you will want to know. But, don’t discount the books that are not backed by science. After all, they can also be loaded with great information based on personal experiences. Both have their merits, but finding the best titles can still be difficult. If you want some great books that will help you change the way you think about things, we would like to recommend the following eight books.

1. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

The-Power-of-Habit

    In this book, author Charles Duhigg talks about how we get into habits, and not all of them are good habits. He will teach you how to get into better habits that will improve your life, both personal and professional.

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    2. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

    Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

      This book may be 1,800 years old, but everything in it still rings true today. Written by Marcus Aurelius, Meditations has been confirmed by science as being effective on our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being.

      3. Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

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      psycho-cybernetics

        Author Maxwell Maltz is a plastic surgeon who wanted to help his patients see that they are beautiful on the inside, and that is what they need to look after first rather than worry about how they look. This powerful book is loaded with advice that will help to improve your own self-confidence and overcome your fears. So, what is true beauty?

        4. Getting things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen

        d-allen_get-things-done-bookcover

          Author David Allen shows you how easy it is to not get things done, and how to turn yourself into someone who does get things done. He talks about how you can have great ideas, but no ability to execute those ideas, and that your success depends on being in action all the time.

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          5. Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

          flow

            Author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi discusses how you can get into a flow state in your life. What does this mean? Think about this. You are doing something that you really love. It makes you feel good, it energizes you, and the time just flies by while you are doing it. This is your flow state, and you can learn how to always be in this state.

            6. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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            How-To-Win-Friends-And-Influence-People

              This book by Dale Carnegie has been around for a long time, but the information within still holds true today. Carnegie has given us a definitive guide about how to use our emotional intelligence to our advantage, both in our personal and business lives. This is one of the must-have self-help books that should be owned by everyone.

              7. Waking Up by Sam Harris

              type

                You don’t necessarily need religion in order to be spiritual. If you are confused about religion, this book by neuroscientist Sam Harris is just what you need. The author talks about how the brain relates to consciousness, and ultimately how that relates to our spirituality. He shows us that it is possible to be highly spiritual without being religious.

                8. 10% Happier by Dan Harris

                10% Happier by Dan Harris

                  If you are always looking at the negative aspect of everything, stop everything you are doing and read this book by Dan Harris now. Also a news anchor, Harris discusses his dealings with the crazier self-help gurus who were nothing more than scam artists, and then actually uses science to see if their claims are real. Then, he reveals the area where science meets spirituality, and how the two are able to marry.

                  Featured photo credit: Sharon & Nikki McCutcheon via flickr.com

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                  Jane Hurst

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                  Last Updated on July 10, 2020

                  How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                  How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                  We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

                  We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

                  So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

                  Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

                  What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

                  Boundaries are limits

                  —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

                  Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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                  Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

                  Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

                  Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

                  How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

                  Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

                  1. Self-Awareness Comes First

                  Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

                  You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

                  To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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                  You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

                  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
                  • When do you feel disrespected?
                  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
                  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
                  • When do you want to be alone?
                  • How much space do you need?

                  You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

                  2. Clear Communication Is Essential

                  Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

                  Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

                  3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

                  Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

                  That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

                  Sample language:

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                  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
                  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
                  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
                  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
                  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
                  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
                  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

                  Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

                  4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

                  Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

                  Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

                  Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

                  We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

                  It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

                  It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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                  Final Thoughts

                  Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

                  Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

                  Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

                  The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

                  Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

                  Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

                  They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

                  Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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